Holiday Sadness

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Katie Wilson

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« on: May 21, 2018, 07:20:11 AM »
This is about when you go on holiday and have a really great time and meet some lovely people and everything is perfect

Holiday Sadness

Ive had such a great time
But now it's time to leave
I've managed to achieve
what I set out to do

but now I'm sad
as I watch the leaves fall from the trees
and hear the noise of the sea
why do good memories leave sadness ?

We've met some real top people
some are gonna be friends for life
but I can't help feeling a little cheated
Why do good memories leave sadness ?

We clicked straight away
and laughed at all the same things
We ate to much and drink to much
now I'm sat here waiting to go home

I don't want to talk
no words will make me feel better
I just want to get home now
now I know it's all over

We've met some real top people
some are gonna be friends for life
but I can't help feeling a little cheated
Why do good memories leave sadness ?

« Last Edit: May 21, 2018, 07:21:59 AM by Katie Wilson »

Mike67

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« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2018, 07:16:47 PM »
Not quite sure what to make if this to be honest.  Perhaps it feels a bit samey, and doesn't really develop as a story.  Most versus, and the chorus, follow the same concept of holiday good, leaving now and that sucks. It might work better to focus on the good things about the holiday for two versus, then a line in the chorus asking why do you feel bad? Then perhaps use a mid 8, or the last chorus to explain that, it's because you're  going home?

Just a thought, and may disagree.

Mike

Katie Wilson

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« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2018, 08:36:34 AM »
Hi thanks appreciate the feedback xxx will take a look xxx