[dasntn]

Hi
This is a fairly recent song written about 6 months ago that I am in the process of recording:
https://soundcloud.com/dasntn/corporate-life

It's another autobiographical lyric (I'm going through a phase!).  There are loads of songs about work in the fields, in the mines, at sea, and in the factory, but I thought there was a shortage of songs about working in a white collar job for a multinational company.

Interested in any feedback, but especially regarding the mix, and the drums.



Lyrics -
The time is nearly midnight and you’ve still got lots to do
The meetings in the morning and they all rely on you
The conference call to California, didn’t sort a single thing out
Barking dogs and crying babies didn’t help it through

You’re working in a hotel room a thousand miles from home
Not seen the kids since Sunday, not spoken on the phone
The current quarter’s nearly over, pressure on to make the quota
Time for your appraisal, all the good that that will do

And you’ve had enough of the driven corporate life
The pushing and the shoving, the struggle and the strife
Meeting after bloody meeting, nameless places, faceless people
Timesheets and expenses are no measure of a life

Drive to the airport and get on the morning plane
Taxi, hotel, meeting room, they all just look the same
Tell them of your products glory, tell them all the same old story
Then off into the sunset,   next place to play the game

And you’ve had enough of the driven corporate life
The pushing and the shoving, the struggle and the strife
Meeting after bloody meeting, nameless faces, faceless people
Timesheets and objectives are no measure of a life

There’s been a big reshuffle, to reflect the market change
They say your team’s an overhead, and you must share the blame
The HR team will be in touch, we wish you all the best of luck
Now hand in your laptop and your shiny new smartphone

Time to smell the flowers and to walk out in the sun
See the world around you, a new life has begun
Spend your time with genuine people, no agenda, no hidden meaning
Time’s your own to do your thing and start to have some fun

And you’ve moved right on from the driven corporate life
No pushing, no shoving, no struggle and no strife
No more having any meetings, and all places have a meaning
Now you know that love will be the measure of your life

[Johnnyuk]

Hi Dasntn,
I liked it very much.
The main basic drum beat is very steady throughout but i did find that the drum fills to me imo were slightly out of sync in places but that can easily be fixed at this early stage. It's a good demo so i look forward to hearing where you take it next.
Johnny

[CaliaMoko]

I can't speak to mixing and production, so I'll just say, the piece has a relentless frenetic feel which suits the topic perfectly.

Vicki

[dasntn]

Thanks Johnny, always value your input!

I will take a close look at the fills - bit of nudging required, I think!

And thanks Vicki - frenetic is a good word for it!

Dave

[Johnnyuk]

Thanks Johnny, always value your input!

I will take a close look at the fills - bit of nudging required, I think!

And thanks Vicki - frenetic is a good word for it!

Dave

Hi Dave,
Regarding the drums. I think that from what i can hear Dave it could be a few things..... it could be that when the drum fills kick in you've still got the main drum beat running through so they clash with each other, or maybe the parts that clash have not been quatized again causing two different rhythm's too compete against each other which again gives us a clash etc...
For the most part the drums are tight and in time. It's only noticeable in just a few places. Like i said it's a tiny problem that is very easy to fix.
Johnny

[dasntn]

Thanks Johnny

had a look this morning and the kick and the bass aren't in line in the first part of the verse, which is part of the problem, and the fills seem to benefit from being shifted off the quantise points slightly (they are quantised at the moment) - probably because the bass and guitar are not exactly in time. A little fiddling will improve it quite a bit, I think!

Dave

[adamfarr]

Been there and recognise some of those sensations (that's why I now work in an organization of 1)...


It's quite long - perhaps a different instrument or some additional vocals could add some variation in places? In the "breakdown" some angelic BVs could work well I think. All the verses are very good though, I'm not necessarily saying anything should be chopped.


As it definitely is quite "frenetic" it occurred to me that this might work really well in the Drum Challenge competition - would be a different version but could be fun to try!

[dasntn]

As it definitely is quite "frenetic" it occurred to me that this might work really well in the Drum Challenge competition - would be a different version but could be fun to try!

Now that's an interesting idea! Thanks Adam,

Dave

[Bill Saunders]

Hi Dave

I love this - mainly because I recognise every word, every line, every sentiment. Boy have I been there. I wrote a song called "5-Star Living Hell" about 20 years ago, when I was sick of being holed up in nameless faceless hotels by my particular white collar multi-national. My song wasn't as good as this - I love the humour actually, the use of "bloody" before "meeting" has real effect and made me smirk. "Best of luck" from HR - yeah right you b******ds!!! And finally you give hope to the listener when you escape - excellent. (And I hope you have - I did and have never looked back).

I have no critique on the mix - it sounds great to me. Oh, and very well sung too.
Bill

[dasntn]

Hi Bill

Thanks for your comments, much appreciated! I've had a couple of people come up when I've played it at small gigs/open mics and ask for a copy of the words - it does seem to hit home for people who have been there
Initially, I put the word bloody in brackets, as I wasn't sure about using it, but it so helps get the message across.

Yes, it did come true - moved to Devon, met lots of friendly musicians, and get to smell the flowers.

Dave

ps - latest version https://soundcloud.com/dasntn/corporate-life-1 now on Soundcloud

[cowparsleyman]

Version 2 is a country mile better, LOVE the EQ on the bass, what bass is it?

lovely drums.

Your production Dave has really sharpened up, maybe try doubled vocals on the chorus, 'moved right on' would be enough, when they come in at the end it gives it some real interesting contrast.

Nice song Dave

cpm

 

[dasntn]

Hi Rich

thanks - I haven't listened to this version for a couple of weeks, as I used the same basic song for the drum challenge. So I had a re-listen, and I am pleased with it. Yes, more backing would be good.

The bass is a Fender Jazz American Deluxe with DR Neon strings. The Omni Scheps really helps the bass stand out - it's been a revenation for me!

cheers
Dave

[cowparsleyman]

Hi Dave

That sounds one hell of a bass, I would be interested to hear any more mixes you did for this. it is a great song

I'm going to post something about compressors if you are interested...

Rich

[dasntn]

Hi Rich

no other mixes of this one, but I'll let you know when I post another song with the Fender bass on it. She's my go to bass for live gigs. A real beaut!

Dave