[CaliaMoko]

Yesterday I was looking at old public domain music and came across a song called "That's Genuine First Class Yiddisha Love". While perusing it, little bits of something similar began to sing their way through my mind. At first I thought I was just editing the original, but what I've ended up with is a different song, although the topic and lyric are obviously heavily influenced by it. For instance, the original song begins:

"Rosie Kohn, I groan and moan, All night I cannot sleep,
In my brains there's nothing else but you."

And mine begins,

"Honey Pie, I moan and sigh; I lie awake all night.
In my head I'm filled with dread; I weep."

So what do I call that? A re-write? An edit? A companion song? For those interested, I can provide the original words and music. Just let me know.

WHERE DO YOU GO, MY ROMEO?

Honey Pie, I moan and sigh; I lie awake all night.
In my head I'm filled with dread; I weep.
Torn apart, I've pawned my heart; the ticket's yours to keep.
Will I ever, ever get to sleep?

Where do you go, my Romeo? I cry for you all day.
I do believe you're avoiding me. Oh why do you treat me this way?

In my dreams you come to me; your arms are open wide.
When you close them I am safe inside.
Then reality assails me in the morning light.
I prefer the darkness of the night.

Where do you go, my Romeo? I cry for you all day.
I do believe you're avoiding me. Oh why do you treat me this way?
Where do you go, my Romeo? I cry for you all day.
I do believe you're avoiding me. Oh why do you treat me this way?
Why do you treat me this way?
Why do you treat me this way?

Copyright 2018 VMG

The words still need work. The rhyme scheme is inconsistent...does it matter? It's awfully short...does it need a bridge? Another verse?

You can hear it so far here (a very rough demo): https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/where-do-you-go-my-romeo/s-nAIRJ

[cowparsleyman]

Hi Vicky

Took a listen, seems OK, I wouldn't worry about the inconsistent rhymes, the flow of the story is not affected by it, and seems to add variation.

It might benefit from a tonal shift, probably a middle 8, could add a violin solo, maybe...

Hope this helps

cpm