[jonlint]

Hi all,

Working on a new song idea after messing around with some cool delay effects in my Kemper.  Made a rough take - singing can be better - wanted first to get the idea down.  Also, 2nd verse and solo is still pending.

One question also, what genre is this song?  Can't pin it to one - impressions on this welcome.

Before I do more, feedback on what I have so far is highly appreciated:

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/sands-of-time

SANDS OF TIME
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

Mountain to climb
And running out of time
Final countdown
Lollygaged around
Only you’re to blame
For what you became
Apathetic soul
Loosing control

A steep cliff, for you to climb
But it’s running, slipping
Through your hands
The sands of time
The sands of time

2nd VERSE

SOLO

A steep cliff, for you to climb
But it’s running, slipping
Through your hands
The sands of time
The sands of time

[Darren1664]

Hi Jon

Great guitar! Very nice tone indeed. The drums and bass were great as well and the overall production spot on!! Not sure what genre - it's quite 80s rock to me but other may disagree

Your voice is great - real rock vocal!

I think the only thing I didn't connect with were the lyrics. Obviously the second verse will help but with so few lyrics I wouldn't (personally) use the climb/time rhyme twice. If you save it for the chorus then I would maybe rework the first two lines of verse 1 - but that is just personal opinion and can be discounted if you are happy as they are.

You're not far off with this one - second verse, solo and your done!!

It's good work and you have a great sound

Cheers

Darren

[jonlint]

Thanks for the feedback!  Wrote the 2nd verse now:

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/sands-of-time-v2

[Ramshackles]

Cool bass line on this one.
The production is veeerry 80's, I think it would be cool/more original if you took the song and did a totally left field production on it...cut out the swampy reverb and chorus guitar effects and try something else. Distorting the bass guitar and ramping up the noise,dirt,volume on the chorus comes to mind.

Just a suggestion.

[Robbie S]

Interesting, for me it starts of sounding like 80's pop then moves into a more rock vibe, again the voice is awesome, you really can deliver vocally, for me it just seems a little flat, something that I'm guilty of myself!

May try some harmonies on the chorus?
The middle 8 is very sparse, maybe a bit more melodies here too.

Great production too.