konalavadome

Swipe Right

  • 13 Replies
  • 1441 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

RealKevM

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 573
    • Soundcloud Real KevM 2
« on: April 19, 2018, 02:57:02 PM »
Hi! Here's a work in progress song, within 7 days i'd written it and performed it at a gig so i'm quite proud of that. I'm posting in this section as i'm interested in your feedback, you guys were a great help with my last song I posted.



Lyrics:

It's summer again
Should be out with friends
It's been two days since he wanted space
and a week since he saw your face
Swipe right here i am
I wanna hear about all your plans
How you're gonna live by the sea
How you're just the same as me

Chorus
Don't you know i'm out here too
Scratching around for someone like you
Here come our sliding doors
Give me faith in this town once more

2nd verse
I'll dry the tears that you've tasted
If you roll back the years I wasted
I know i'll let you down
But i'll always want you around
Swipe right here I am
I wanna tell you all my plans
How i'm gonna live by the sea
How i'm going to write goof to be free

Katie Wilson

  • *
  • Guest
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2018, 04:24:05 PM »
Hi nice lyrics - love  the little girl in the background -

I like your songs but feel this is similiar to the others and I would like to change your vocal range if you can or the tempo - keep at it your dedication and drive is fantastic

Katie xxx

RealKevM

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 573
    • Soundcloud Real KevM 2
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2018, 04:50:24 PM »
Cheers Katie. Sometimes you can't see things and need another point of view - someone else has said before that a lot of my songs seem to have a similar tempo and feel.

Katie Wilson

  • *
  • Guest
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2018, 07:41:25 PM »
I'm the last person that should be telling you what to do - it's just an observation and not a criticism
X x

RealKevM

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 573
    • Soundcloud Real KevM 2
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2018, 07:49:26 PM »
I didn't take it as criticism  :)

Katie Wilson

  • *
  • Guest
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2018, 12:23:11 AM »
Good  :)

Jack_Diamond.

  • *
  • Guest
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2018, 01:41:16 AM »
I like the lyrics and vocal arrangement. Maybe try some different chord voicings and a slightly different strumming pattern though. I only say this because as it stands it feels very similar to wonderwall - oaisis, although if you see that as a good thing stick with it.

Oldbutyet

  • *
  • Guest
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2018, 02:38:47 AM »
Why the video   8)

Rokhart

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 6
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2018, 11:21:05 AM »
It’s the first one of your songs I’ve heard. I like your style. Maybe use different feel between verse and chorus. Also put the line ‘swipe right’ in the chorus to make that the hook. Keep on rockin’!

RealKevM

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 573
    • Soundcloud Real KevM 2
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2018, 09:25:00 PM »
@Jack_Diamond. Thanks mate, yeah it is inspired by Wonderwall, well chords are anyway :)

@Oldbutyet Sometimes recording a quick video version is a lot easier for me really.

@Rokhart Thanks, I think I definitely need to mix it up verse/chorus or introduce a dynamic. Good suggestion about the hook i'll have a play about.

Cawproductions

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 687
  • Producer, Engineer & Songwriter
    • AtticVibes Music Library
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2018, 10:14:09 PM »
Hi kev.

Another nice tune dude,

On the swipe right section I would go for a chorus chord sequence then back into the main verses. Keeps the variety.

Stick at those vocals, try to stay in key...(Ha, I dont sing live and have a lot of post production to help)

But hey, dont listen to me, go with the flow.

Nice work chap.

Andy

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2018, 02:07:43 PM »
Hi Kev

I agree you might want to get more of a change for the chorus whether it be changing the strumming pattern or the chord pattern...how about just keeping it to the first two chords...at first at least. So where you have first chord on 'don't' then 'know' then 'out' then 'too' just use the first two chords for this sequence. This will also mean changing the melody to fit which won't be a bad thing.

Also you might want to change the melody in the verses a few times...every line does the same thing...lacks a bit of life.

Might be OK to do that with the first few lines then you want to somehow get a change before you hit that 'swipe right' section to set it apart...and maybe get some new melodic ideas here too.

Just to confuse you further I quite like the idea of the 'swipe right' not necessarily being the main chorus hook but just a repeated verse hook instead.

You've got your song idea now you need to get a few dynamic changes in there to give it a good structure with some good movement to it. That's my thoughts anyway.

Good luck!
Take it easy.

You can check my stuff out here. Mini-album getting bigger slowly. Free download if you're poorer than me.

Easy Life - Viscount Cramer

Mikey

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 407
« Reply #12 on: April 21, 2018, 10:38:47 PM »
Yo Kevy

Another nice song mate, I really like the lyrics and the chord progression in the verses is nice, maybe try a bit more variety in the chorus to distinguish from the verses but overall a song with lots of potential,

Keep it up mate, Mikey

RealKevM

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 573
    • Soundcloud Real KevM 2
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2018, 08:50:31 PM »
I'm sensing a theme here lol thanks @Cawproductions @Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra and @Mikey appreciate the feedback :)