konalavadome

Don't Look For Revenge - Joint between Katie Wilson and Me

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dasntn

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« on: April 14, 2018, 08:39:32 AM »
Hi

A while back, Katie posted asking if anyone wanted to write a song for any of her lyrics, so I picked one and had a go!

So, Katie wrote the lyric for Don't Look For Revenge, and I tweaked them a tiny bit, put chords and a melody to it, and recorded this track.
I know Katie is learning the guitar, so I used chords that Katie knows, so that she can play it, and it gave me a sort of challenge by constraining my options.

Here it is https://soundcloud.com/dasntn/dont-look-for-revenge-1

The lyrics are:-
D                                            G             
Hey , I know that you've been hurt           
D                  G
kicked in the dirt
Em                 A
wanna get rev- enge
             D
but is all worth it

Chorus
A                                   G
think of everything you'll lose
A                                   G
do you wanna choose the pain
Em                                      A   
or do you wanna move past, past it
                                        D                G
think of the friendship you'll loose


D                                   G
I know they've done it before
D                               G
      and they’ll do it again
Em                                    A
they won't explain ‘n’ say sorry
                 D
but is it all worth it

Chorus

It's  just the way that they're made
and they’ll never change
but you still love them
because they always watch your back

Chorus

Can you imagine life without them  ?
can you live when they’ve  gone for-ever
Revenge is a waste , it ain't worth it
Remember  the friendship you'll lose

Chorus


The production is far from perfect  - the MDrummer automated drums go a bit wild in places!

I'm sure @Katie Wilson and myself would be interested in what you all think!

cheers
Dave
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 03:14:34 PM by dasntn »

Yodasdad

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« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2018, 01:08:30 PM »
Kudos to that man for mic'ing a full drum kit in his front room! That's either a bachelor pad or he's got one understanding wife (and neighbours)

Nice relaxed feel to this and I think the melody and lyrics fit together nicely.

The chord sequence is a little unambitious, but you've explained that and I get it.

Some nice turns in the melody which compensate for this though.

Nice work both.

Yodasdad

Movin Flavour

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« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2018, 05:15:26 PM »
Good song.

This is a good collaboration, like the lyrics.

I think a nice string arrangements could really complement the song....just a thought.

Thanks for sharing..

Sandeep

Katie Wilson

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« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2018, 05:22:22 PM »
Thanks Sandeep we weren't sure about putting it in the unfinished or finished section

dasntn

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« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2018, 10:04:29 AM »
Hi

had a good talking to that drummer (well, read the manual) and tamed him a bit! Also liked Sandeep's idea about some strings - some fairly 80's strings added here and there!

https://soundcloud.com/dasntn/dont-look-for-revenge-1

Enjoy!

Dave

Jack_Diamond.

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« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2018, 11:16:02 PM »
I like it. In my opinion though the vocals are a little loud and the organ could be brought up a little bit in the mix (just my preference).

Johnnyuk

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« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2018, 07:35:13 PM »
Hi,
Nice collab, works well.
Only issue i found was with some of the lyrics.
I'll talk about the first verse only to show you what i mean. In the first two lines the singer is talking about someone else then in the next two lines he is talking as if it his he who the song is about. This crops up here and there in the song. So a few small changes can easily fix this issue. Decide if the singer is talking about himself or about someone else then make the slight changes needed to keep which angle it is you want to go down vocally with it.
I hope this helps.

Johnny :)
« Last Edit: April 16, 2018, 07:37:36 PM by Johnnyuk »

dasntn

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« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2018, 08:42:01 AM »
Hi Johnny

I'll let @Katie Wilson comment on the lyrics, but thanks for the feedback.  From the way I read it, it is all from the perspective of talking to a person about their feelings - maybe I'm wrong!

cheers
Dave

dasntn

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« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2018, 08:43:34 AM »
I like it. In my opinion though the vocals are a little loud and the organ could be brought up a little bit in the mix (just my preference).

Hi Jack
yes, a bit more time and care on the mixing wouldn't go amis!
cheers
Dave

Katie Wilson

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« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2018, 08:58:13 AM »
Hi Johnny thanks for the feedback - it's not something I was aware of really , I've read through and I'm quite happy with the lyrics but thanks anyway for taking the time to post

Katie xxx

SlavaB

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« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2018, 12:51:49 PM »
Not a bad vocal, guitar plays well too. But them drums are totally out of that song, sounds like they are out of tune to be honest on my opinion - I might be wrong. Changing drums would change the sound completely.

Thanks.
Best Regards,
Slava B.

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #11 on: April 17, 2018, 12:54:48 PM »
Das, great that you went with this, it';s always soooo difficult to do something which hasn't set your own heart on fire., great job.

cpm

Jamie

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« Reply #12 on: April 17, 2018, 02:03:12 PM »
Hi, I just posted a song with Katie's lyrics, she's easy to work with isn't she! Nice lyrics again. Maybe its just me but there were moments when the drums and the rest of the track seemed out of sync. Nice organ tone and the singing was pretty good too!
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

Skub

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« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2018, 07:10:26 PM »
Yo Dave and Katie.

It's obvious Katie has set the forum on fire with lyrics and every interpretation is different and individual.

This one is no exception. The vocals have an 80s connotation,but convey the lyrical message very efficiently.

I concur with the drum comments,it's the only part that lets down the side.

dasntn

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« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2018, 09:08:14 PM »
Thanks Jamie and Skub

I am tinkering with the song, especially the drums, and tidying up the timing on bits of the guitar to get the rhythm in line with the drums.
It will get better!

Dave