[PaulyX]

Wow, what a good track.
I was going to highlight the same 'headstone' couplet as Adam, and this one also knocked me for six:

Nightmares are much easier to live with
Cos everything’s exactly as it seems

Absolute knockout lyrics in this mate... you're on top of your game here.

There's something special about the contrast between the breezy instrumentation and chipper melody of the music, versus the melancholy lyrics.  Although it doesn't sound like it at all, it conjures the same feelings in me as John Barry's theme song to 'Midnight Cowboy'... pretty and heartbreakingly wistful at the same time.

[Roald]

Great track!
Would have probably thought of something to fill the quite long pauses between lines, especially during the chorus. But I guess this way, it really adds to the mood you're trying to set. Great work.

[Neil C]

Paul,
Liking this a lot with the piano and the bass especially.
Melody floats nicely over the chords and I can here the lyrics clear as a bell.
Just needs some harmonies and backing vocals. and I'd I'd lib say something happens over the ending too.
Cool
 
neil

[Johnnyuk]

Hi Paul,
I loved this song! The story keeps your interest and the music does a very good job of supporting your vocal.
It and your voice ( i'm guessing it's your vocal here) reminds me of Prefab Sprout. And i love them so it's a win win for me to listen to a song like this.

Feedback wise for this song as i hear it i would get the bass more under control in parts as it is too boomy so a little compression and EQ on it will get that under control for you. Also consider removing bass from the bass. I am not kidding! I do it all the time between the bass guitar and the bass drum on all my songs. I have them set differently in the EQ to each other. Doing this will help to separate the two in the mix so we hear both clearly all the time and on the plus side your entire mix gets cleaner/clearer so that is something to consider. One thing i noticed was in the first verse. Half way through it you changed musically from a rim shot to a snare drum. I would not do that. I would keep the rim shot in the verses and only bring in the snare drum on your chorus. Doing this will help the listener to know where they are in the song. eg ok we are in the verse ( rim shot playing) then ok we are in the chorus cos the snare drum is now playing. That kinda thing. Plus your verses are softer musically and vocally so the rim shot will help to keep that softness.
Loved listening to this one Paul so i'm gonna add it to my faves on soundcloud. I like the chilled out feel of it too.
I hope that what i have suggested on this song helps you to get the song even stronger for you.

Johnny

[crystalsuzy]

WOW~Paul! This is so good, from the lyrics, to the vocals, to the backing track, to the production and just to the great vibe of the whole song
I think my favorite of yours so far Loved every minute of it

[Cawproductions]

Hi Paul,
Nice flowing song, kind of rolls along nicely,
Vocals sit nice and keys give it the right feel.

Not my vibe but a big thumbs up here Paul.
Nice song.
Cheers
Andy

[Jamie]

Hi Paul, very nice sounds with the guitar and piano doubling! Elvis Costello meets the Beautiful South. Melancholy feel suits the lyrics.Nicely fashioned young man! .
Cheers
Jamie

[PaulAds]

I’ll sneak in a quick “thanks” while the going is good...

I’m quite surprised that this one went down pretty well...I just sort of dashed it off and thought it was maybe a bit lightweight...so thanks to everyone for their thoughts and help. I’ll look at tidying the mix up a little too...I thought the bass line didn’t really fit...and really just played the first thing that came into my head.

I’m off to see a stage version of “Steptoe and Son” at the local theatre now...looking forward to that.

Probably my favourite ever tv gag was when Leonard Rossitter (playing an escaped convict) broke into Albert and Harold’s to steal their car (a horse and cart) grab a meal (mouldy cheese and cold porridge) and rob them (of 3.5p in total) and as he’s stomping around the room brandishing his cosh, he notices the skeleton hanging up on a display stand and says “who’s this...the lodger?”

Cheers!

[Mutrins]

Really love your voice. It's so full and gritty.

Production is great and i'm really digging this song and the lyrics!

[Martinswede]

Hi Paul!

Great that you post the song here too. It's well worth a few listens. The lyrics are outstanding. Such good balance between painting a detailed picture and letting the listener fill in the gaps.

Martin

[Mikey]

Great stuff, the lyrics tell the story really well, the music flows very well and the structure keeps it interesting right through, the mix is nice, I particularly liked the tone on the bass which was nicely seperated in the mix.

Well done mate, Mikey

[samturneraudio]

Digging the lyrics

[montydog]

Hi Paul,

Very pretty riff running through this which is kind of odds with the story but the juxtaposition works. Thoughtful, detailed and beautifully written lyrics - I am in awe.... The whole thing sounds lovely and your decision to switch to a proper bass guitar rather than using midi works so well - it really anchors the track. Nothing to be negative about here - pure class.

M

[PaulAds]

Sorry that drag this back up...but I wanted to say a quick “thank you” for all the lovely comments and to everyone who voted for this in SOTM...it’s been lovely...thanks!