[Darren1664]

Hi all

EDIT: Added a new mix 'Version 2"

So, I'm suppose to be spending the time off finishing a lyric but found myself trying to mash this together. It's unfinished because I haven't quite written the guitar solo and the mix is a bit terrible but all the other parts are there so I thought I'd share.

This is the most accomplished solo effort of mine I think, which is promising. Still a long way off with the mixing etc but the practice helps.

https://soundcloud.com/user-41129754/freedom-fighters-latest

Version 2 based on advice from PaulAds https://soundcloud.com/user-41129754/freedom-fighters-v2

Freedom Fighters

Sat down for lunch, I glance out the window
a bird stood on a ledge looking in at me says
'hey man could you spare me some feed?
it's been two days since I've had something to eat'
Well I looked at him blank as my teeth sank
Into their footlong BLT

Hey now, what's the deal?
Survival of the fittest is the one who gets the meal?
So what about the rest of us trying to get by
waiting in line for the next one to die?
It doesn't seem fair to a bird like me that
some get it tough while others get it easy

Some get it tough while others get it easy

Come fight for the freedom fighters
We’ll fight for the freedom fighters
Let’s fight for the freedom fighters
Go fight for the freedom fighters

Come fight for the freedom fighters
Go fight for the freedom fighters

All comments welcome

Thank you

Darren

[PaulAds]

Firstly...guitars sound great!

Were you recently looking for guitar amp plugins? Sounds like you found some 

I'd perhaps nudge the drums up a little and take the vocal down a bit...probably roll a bit of bass off the vocal too...to try to get it sitting back in the mix a bit...I'd probably take the key up a few semitones, too...try and get more welly into the vocal...but you're voice sounds good down there...and if that's where you're more comfortable...then just ignore me!

good set of lyrics too...

[Darren1664]

Firstly...guitars sound great!

Were you recently looking for guitar amp plugins? Sounds like you found some 

I'd perhaps nudge the drums up a little and take the vocal down a bit...probably roll a bit of bass off the vocal too...to try to get it sitting back in the mix a bit...I'd probably take the key up a few semitones, too...try and get more welly into the vocal...but you're voice sounds good down there...and if that's where you're more comfortable...then just ignore me!

good set of lyrics too...

Thanks for your time on this Paul, much appreciated! Glad to hear the guitars are sounding good. I stuck with the plugins I was using but have doubled the part and it sounds much better. I still want to tweak the tone a little but it is not far off where I want it now.

Really appreciate your comments regarding the mix so have tweaked and will soon upload the newer version. I will definitely try the key suggestion - not the first time I've been told that either (so you'd think I'd learn). I can't think of an easy way of doing it so will dig out my capo and rerecord at some point.

Thanks for the tips

All the best Darren

[Martinswede]

Hi Darren!

I think the song works quite well. Drums and guitar sounds good. I listened to mix2.
The weak part is to me the 'come fight... '. If feels like the energy of the song drops a bit there.
Some small change in melody might do the trick.

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Sounding good Darren.

Vocal still sitting on top a bit isn't it or my ears are shit which could easily be the case.

As I listened first time I thought NOW! a dirty guitar solo! Well I got it in the end but I reckon the song could stand one earlier too. Either even in that bit after 'Some get it tough while others get it easy' before the chorus (at 0.50) where it will be a bit of a surprise because it'll be quite early in the song or after the first pair of chorus bits where it would be about the right time to have one but maybe then a bit too close to the one you do have later......I think I'd go for the first option...hit them with it early.

Not in love with the more drawn out way you sing 'fi-i-ghters' in the 'go fight for the freedom fighters' bit though agree that something different is good there....maybe a more shouted out 'freedom fighters' unless that goes against the grain of the kinda laid-back vocal delivery. Maybe just the shouted out or more intense one before the final solo as your last word (well, two words)....but then, for me, the solo has to come in straight away....maybe it should anyway. I like the idea of hitting early rather than later. Get the first punch in, in fact.

[adamfarr]

Darren - great stuff - really catchy and engaging.


When you sing low and have chuggy guitars too like this then you don't have much treble - here you probably only have the high hats on the drums. Nothing wrong with that and it's a style choice too. I think when the second (higher) guitar comes in over the top at the end before the solo it really adds something and maybe you could think about introducing it earlier (just a few fills say and then progressively more). That guitar sounds great and is played great too so it would add a lot I think.


For the Freedom Fighters bit I think I'd go for a double tracked (or more) vocal - it could add some extra punch without involving major arrangement surgery (I don't do this much as it's hard to get them well lined up but here I think it would definitely suit the theme).


It's a cool anthemic song, like it!

[Darren1664]

Hi Darren!

I think the song works quite well. Drums and guitar sounds good. I listened to mix2.
The weak part is to me the 'come fight... '. If feels like the energy of the song drops a bit there.
Some small change in melody might do the trick.

Cheers Martin! Thanks for listening and your feedback. When recording I did feel a drop in energy during that part but could place why! I will have to have an experiment with the vocal and as others have suggested bring the lead guitar in a bit earlier.

Thanks for your help

Darren

[Darren1664]

Sounding good Darren.

Vocal still sitting on top a bit isn't it or my ears are shit which could easily be the case.

As I listened first time I thought NOW! a dirty guitar solo! Well I got it in the end but I reckon the song could stand one earlier too. Either even in that bit after 'Some get it tough while others get it easy' before the chorus (at 0.50) where it will be a bit of a surprise because it'll be quite early in the song or after the first pair of chorus bits where it would be about the right time to have one but maybe then a bit too close to the one you do have later......I think I'd go for the first option...hit them with it early.

Not in love with the more drawn out way you sing 'fi-i-ghters' in the 'go fight for the freedom fighters' bit though agree that something different is good there....maybe a more shouted out 'freedom fighters' unless that goes against the grain of the kinda laid-back vocal delivery. Maybe just the shouted out or more intense one before the final solo as your last word (well, two words)....but then, for me, the solo has to come in straight away....maybe it should anyway. I like the idea of hitting early rather than later. Get the first punch in, in fact.

Hey Viscount

Ahh you're most likely right. My ears aren't up to much at all....I will tinker with the levels some more. I'm bringing in the guitar earlier as suggested so that might balance with the vocals so I will see.

Ahh that interesting. My ears want the solo in between the chorus's but I see what you're saying about bringing it in early. I've been experimenting with having some noodles throughout but then I worry it takes the shine of the guitar for when it is more prominent. I guess I should just try out different ideas.

And yeah I agree! The intention of the vocal is to be a bit shouty but I do struggle (a confidence thing mainly). Again I will experiment with this....the fun is in the trying and see what I come up with. I definitely think the back half needs more oomph! Because that's the point really...so I will work with this and see how I go

Thanks again for your support Viscount

All the best

Darren

[Darren1664]

Darren - great stuff - really catchy and engaging.


When you sing low and have chuggy guitars too like this then you don't have much treble - here you probably only have the high hats on the drums. Nothing wrong with that and it's a style choice too. I think when the second (higher) guitar comes in over the top at the end before the solo it really adds something and maybe you could think about introducing it earlier (just a few fills say and then progressively more). That guitar sounds great and is played great too so it would add a lot I think.


For the Freedom Fighters bit I think I'd go for a double tracked (or more) vocal - it could add some extra punch without involving major arrangement surgery (I don't do this much as it's hard to get them well lined up but here I think it would definitely suit the theme).


It's a cool anthemic song, like it!

Thanks Adam

Yeah I'm liking the idea of having the guitar come in earlier. Seems to be a consensus on that and I do like a bit of lead so I will development that further. (I have given it a whirl and it definitely adds something. It makes the song more driving to my ear).

The vocals are double tracked but I think because my vocal is quite low the two track blend together and don't add much welly. I think I will try two more panned tracks to try and really add some more punch.

It's great fun experimenting with these ideas, so thank you. Really helps

Thanks everyone

Darren

[redrhodie]

Love it. Really sounds great already. I agree you gotta add some more vocals to the freedom fighter part. You should go kinda crazy there. Just go all out. Throw caution to the wind. Belt it out. What's the worst that can happen?

[delb0y]

I like the style - reminds me of one of those New York bands from the seventies, Lou Reed, and the like. But I've no idea when it comes to production and plug-ins and mixes. What I do think is it needs another verse. I don't quite get the lyrical flow - the words as they are are fine, just needs something to join up the image of the bird outside, then the bird's viewpoint verse (I assume this is what v2 is) and then straight into the Freedom Fighters bit. Feels like a bit of a lyrical leap to me. But sounding good!

Derek

[cowparsleyman]

Whato Darren

Nice tune, nice guitar, but as RedRhodie says, give it some on the Vox, it's all a bit polite, reminds me of mum Mum singing a long to 'Purple Haze', this could be sorted maybe by sticking the LVox through a distortion plugin.

Reminds me also of  a Lou Reed/Dylan thing. Great idea to have a bluesy structure.

Prod. sounds OK, sounds like there's something missing, but I'm not sure what, maybe a hammond? I'd love a triplet based finish on the drums, (always was a sucker for them), maybe its the close room verb...small club might be better?

Maybe it's a width thing, these can's aren't brill but I know it's a good song, but theres something I can't quite put me hand on, try a few ideas and see what works.

Maybe a tambourine in the choruses?

Cowbell in the solo guitar?

Not much help I'm afraid..

Regards

cpm

[Sterix]

I enjoyed this. It's fun.

When I read the lyrics I wondered how they'd sound in the context of the song. They fit rather nicely.

This actually put a smile on my miserable face.

[Darren1664]

Love it. Really sounds great already. I agree you gotta add some more vocals to the freedom fighter part. You should go kinda crazy there. Just go all out. Throw caution to the wind. Belt it out. What's the worst that can happen?

Thanks Lynn! I have attempted to do just that It sounds quite good to my ear to be fair although it did hurt my voice! /: It's not quite ready to share as I am still working on the guitar part but almost there. After my tweaks I think I will post this up in finished songs. It's been great getting feedback and working on it

Thank you

Darren

[Darren1664]

I like the style - reminds me of one of those New York bands from the seventies, Lou Reed, and the like. But I've no idea when it comes to production and plug-ins and mixes. What I do think is it needs another verse. I don't quite get the lyrical flow - the words as they are are fine, just needs something to join up the image of the bird outside, then the bird's viewpoint verse (I assume this is what v2 is) and then straight into the Freedom Fighters bit. Feels like a bit of a lyrical leap to me. But sounding good!

Derek

Cheers Delboy and I couldn't agree more. It was my biggest reservation once I'd written this - I too felt that the two sections didn't tie together lyrically. However part of me wanted to keep it that way...not sure why, laziness most likely. The second verse is actually the narrator - similar to how people like to pretend their pets are saying things to them based on the pets expressions etc, if that makes sense. A lyrical leap for sure because that and the actual idea behind the lyrics is not explained in the song at all. I'm sure you can guess what it is about but it does require some explanation. And the freedom the narrator is fighting for is freedom from the highest authority, whatever that may be.

Thanks for listening and your insightful feedback

All the best

Darren