[jonlint]

Hi all,

Working on a new song idea. Made a rough take - playing can be tighter and better - wanted first to get the idea down. Also, 2nd verse is still pending.

Before I do more, feedback on what I have so far is highly appreciated:

LIAR
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

You got a good disguise
But we can see through your eyes
Pressure’s getting higher
We can see you’re a liar

You’ve fooled me way too longer
You’re weak, but I am strong

Yeah
You’re a liar
Yeah
Such a liar

2ND VERSE pending

You’ve fooled me way too longer
You’re weak, but I am strong

Yeah
You’re a liar
Yeah
Such a liar

SOLO

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/liar-rough-demo

[Mike67]

Love the voice, which is pure rock. Song's great too, but I'd suggest a few tweaks. Shorten the intro to 30 secs max and move the solo to just before the bridge, then end on the chorus. That would be bit more predictable, but good to finish this one on the chorus. Great work.

[jonlint]

Love the voice, which is pure rock. Song's great too, but I'd suggest a few tweaks. Shorten the intro to 30 secs max and move the solo to just before the bridge, then end on the chorus. That would be bit more predictable, but good to finish this one on the chorus. Great work.

Hi Mike,

Thanks for the feedback.  I was thinking the same thing.  Managed to write a second verse and improve the mix a bit - still with the "old" structure. Will probably shorten the intro and add a chorus at the end.  Here is the complete lyrics:

LIAR
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

You got a good disguise
But we can see through your eyes
Pressure’s getting higher
We can see you’re a liar

You’ve fooled me way too longer
You’re weak, but I am strong

Yeah
You’re a liar
Yeah
Such a liar

You took us for a ride
Inflamed, exploited divide
Who next will you fire
To rush ahead and hire

You’ve fooled me way too longer
You’re weak, but I am strong

Yeah
You’re a liar
Yeah
Such a liar

SOLO

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/liar

[cowparsleyman]

Hi

I'm just listening to it now...

nice kick drum sound.

Here are just a few comments...intro needs to be shorter, could even start around 0:54 - boom straight in.
a bit of verb and delay on choruses, and the hooky quavers on the guitar in the choruses could follow the bass.

2nd verse texture is like the 1st, so maybe add either guitar fills or BVox.

The solo could be a bit louder.

Good job. nice song, with good rhymes, clean production.

Hope this helps.

cpm


 

[jonlint]

Updated the song with a different structure.  I think it needs works.  Feedback welcome:

 

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/jwlsong114-rev4

[cowparsleyman]

Miles better, great work, kick could be a bit further up in the mix, solo counds better too.

maybe needs something to give it a break from the riff, great work though.

Also maybe mashup the drum fills at the end of verses, let em flow into the chorus, that'll make a point of interest from the guitar.

hope it helps

cpm