[sarahlawrence17]

Hi, I'm Sarah. This is a song about my experiences of being a teenager. I'd be really happy to get any feedback, but in particular it would be awesome to get some help with what I could do with my production as I don't know a lot about what I'm doing in that sphere! Thanks for listening

https://soundcloud.com/user-495044754/wildflowers

Sixteen years deep in the middle of winter
I don’t know when the sun started to splinter
But suddenly I swear the trees are growing bare

He’s long gone and I think that I know that now
Maybe that’s why I let you take me out
You pick me up and it’s clear to me you are just as empty

And I keep quiet, ’cause I’m still learning to be on fire without burning you
And if we get bored we’ll break each other’s hearts
We all sit at home and we shut our mouths because we don’t care about anything
But I hope you care about me

So take me somewhere
Somewhere far away, I heard talk’s cheap and the company’s to die for
Where smiles flash under strobe lights
And all the people dance like wildflowers ripped from the cracks in the sidewalk
We’re wildflowers ripped from the cracks in the sidewalk

And we’re both so scared to fall, so we talk slow
Heart is beating fast but I’m hoping that you don’t know
’Cause they taught us to hide the truth
The first guard down will lose

And we still love the songs we knew when we were thirteen, screaming in the backseat
But we have learned to keep our voices down
And so we sit at home and we tend our frowns, we care so damn much about everything
And I know you care about me

So take me somewhere
Somewhere far away, I heard talk’s cheap and the company’s to die for
Where smiles flash under strobe lights
And all the people dance like wildflowers ripped from the cracks in the sidewalk
Like wildflowers ripped from the cracks in the sidewalk

And they’re so lost, and we’re so lost
Oh and the winter seems so long
And they’re so lost, and we’re so lost
Oh and the winter seems so long, so long, so

So we go somewhere,
We’re so far away from where cold words sit like wine stains on the carpet
Where smiles flash under strobe lights
And all the people dance like wildflowers ripped from the cracks in the sidewalk

And suddenly, you look around and daffodils are pushing through the ground
Suddenly, you look around and daffodils are pushing through the ground

[Jambrains]

Welcome Sarah, and wow!, this was a good one!
Got a little bit of a Jason Mra I'm Yours feel from it.
You have a great voice and a great song with good lyrics as well.
Some very nice touches here and there like the somewhat unexpected chord change at 'we don’t care about anything'  and a few other places as well.
Nice build up as the song progress even with small means.
Production wise it is not bad at all, the guitar is a little dull perhaps but the vocals sound just fine.
A bass, a little drums, perhaps a second guitar and this would be a absolute killer pop song.
Actually, I think arrangement/instrumentation wise I'm Yours could stand role model (but that is just my personal opinion of course)
In any case, fab work, keep 'em coming!

[PaulyX]

Wow, excellent first track to post.
Great voice and the production ain’t half bad either.
Very good lyrics too... I really lack the way you avoid obvious rhymes, it scans very well and you’ve got loads of interesting similes and metaphors. Lovely turn around in the last 2 lines too.
As Jambrains says, there’s enough build going on to keep it interesting, while still keeping it simple and subtle.
I’d be very proud of this one if I were you. Reminded me a little of Sheryl Crow. I have no suggestions other than share this one around a lot, and write lots more.
Welcome!

[KOTQM]

I have to agree with what has been said previously
This is a lovely song
You have an excellent voice which has been recorded well
The guitar is a little muted eq wise
Nothing a bit of tweaking wouldn't cure
The arrangement is spot on I'd say... Introducing extra instruments may or may not add to the track!
Personally with this I'd say keep it simple

Nice job

[Mikey]

I completely agree with all that has been said, a really good song with a great performance, and I love the harmonies, I don't think it needs anything added, its great in its simplicity and engages interest all the way through, well done, and welcome to the forum, I hope we hear a lot more from you.

Cheers, Mikey

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Sarah.  Great first post. This is a very well thought out song. Great vocals and backing is just great. I love the backing vocals. Reminded me of Joni Mitchell. Great production as well. Just going to listen again 

[LostBoy]

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the forum 

Wow! What a fantastic song! You sing it beautifully mate. I love the imagery in your lyrics, the “wildflowers ripped from the cracks of the sidewalk” especially. I also love the “I’m still learning to be on fire without burning you.” Really great stuff. 

I honestly don’t think you need to dress up the production any more than it is. You have done a fab job. All it needs (to my ears) is a little more polish. I think the guitars maybe a smidge out of tune? I may be wrong as I’m no expert, but it def sounded a bit off in the verses. I agree with Previous comments about using some,or more EQ on the guitar to brighten it up a bit. The only other thing I noticed on your awesome track is the Lead Vocal Volume fluctuates in places, especially around 2.10ish, it gets noticeably louder there and then dips again towards the end. It’s a good idea to turn the volume up a little on the choruses (genre depending) and it’s done a lot in pop, but the trick is, for it not to be noticeable.

I hope that’s of some use to you mate. It really is a wonderful song and I look forward to hearing more from ya. 

[Skub]

Yo Sarah.

Wow,what a first post! I hope you stick around and get involved in the community here.

You have a lovely voice,easy,not forced and  really natural sounding. Others have mentioned the Joni Mitchell similarities,I hear that,but you are your own singer too. Wonderful.

Great lyrics and great song and great performance,only one thing lets it down for me. The guitar sounds boxy,cheap and worst of all, out of tune,it lets the whole song down and it's the first thing to get right before recording or performing. Both you and the song deserve better.

[LostBoy]

Phew! @Skub I was worried it was just my ears.  I’ve been listening to some really dodgy takes I did on my uke this afternoon & my ears are all out of wack!! 

[sarahlawrence17]

@Jambrains Yes I noticed after I wrote it that the verses sounded similar to I'm Yours! I'll have to check out the song again to see if I can get some ideas.

@PaulyX @KOTQM @Mikey Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen, and it's nice to hear good things from a second ear

@pompeyjazz Wow, Joni Mitchell is one of my songwriting heroes so that comparison is awesome, thank you!

@LostBoy Thanks, I'll have a look at the vocal track and try to make it more subtle. In terms of the guitar EQ, to make it brighter would I boost the higher frequencies?

@Skub Thanks for listening! Yeah, the out of tune guitar has been bothering me ever since I posted the song...obviously I didn't check that enough when recording. Is there anything I could do production-wise to reduce the boxy sound of the guitar, or is it more likely to do with the instrument itself?

[mickyplankton]

Welcome to the forum Sarah. I echo everyone else's sentiments. The immediate observation from just a few seconds of listening is that you have an incredible voice. And after a couple of listens to the song, an impressive talent at constructing a catchy tune. Comparisons to Joni Mitchell are inevitable and that's a very very good thing! As surely Joni Mitchell is one of the greatest singer songwriters of all time. Hope you stick around here

[LostBoy]

Hi Sarah,

Well, boosting the higher frequencies will certainly help, but I think “cutting” mid range frequencies will actually help more and is often more effective than boosting. You need to have a good sweep around until you find that nasty boxy sound and cut as much out without it sounding too weird.

I use a great website called therecordingrevolution.com he has loads of great,free video content on mixing.

Hope that helps
Leo 

[Jambrains]

Hi Sarah,

Well, boosting the higher frequencies will certainly help, but I think “cutting” mid range frequencies will actually help more and is often more effective than boosting. You need to have a good sweep around until you find that nasty boxy sound and cut as much out without it sounding too weird.

I use a great website called therecordingrevolution.com he has loads of great,free video content on mixing.

Hope that helps
Leo 

+1. Cutting mid should do the trick though a slight boost in the upper freq range may add some 'shimmer' as well

[Binladeda]

 Hi Sarah,

 Yep...another fan here
 Love the vocals.....great character and emotion.
 Guitar tone is a bit dull/damped. But it does give
 it a more intimate feel in the delivery. As if you're
 in a room playing just to me Changing it to a
 brighter/fuller sound might change that...be careful
 ATM it supports and accompanies the vocal really well.
 Lets the vocal shine IMO

 Lyrics are a work of art Love everything about it.
 Sounds very commercial to me...if it's not, then things are
 worse than I thought 

 Excellent work.......More please

[Katie Wilson]

Hi,Sarah
Well what can I say as a writer some really good imaginative lyrics in there , your voice sounds great - it's a good melody - sang so confidently, it's quite a long song but you get away with it because it's so listenable

I can't find any faults I look forward to hearing more of your stuff

Katie xx