[Messager]

Hey I really liked this!

I feel like the 'non-repeating' song form is super under-rated and really feels quite casual and intimate for some reason 

Also really enjoy the contrast (for most of the song) between the musical mood and the subject matter; really cool effect

Messager

[shadowfax]

Blimey!! a concept album in less than 6 mins....my only crit is the joiney bits..they let the song down IMHO...

[crystalsuzy]

Hi Crystalsuzy,

Only had a quick listen, so initial views.  I like the idea and the individual component, but the Segways need some work in order to make it flow. Paul McCartney was a master at this.  It is doable, but the segways need careful planning. Love the almost whimsical approach to a very dark subject. Nice work and bags of potential. Wemcome to the Forum.

thanks for taking a listen and for your supportive comments, @Mike67  I totally know what you mean about the segways...maybe I could get Paul to work on this 

[crystalsuzy]

Whato Crystal Suzy.

I can imagine that your ears are numb, it's always a big job trying to piece together scenes in a song like this.

The subject matter has spawned loads of songs, and I can imagine that you found quite a bit of calm sea in between the cans.

The first part was a little loose on the Vox, but that can be fixed, really strong 2nd and 3rd phases, reminded me of talking heads, nice vocal harmonies. I also liked the way you separated each Vox track in the mix.

I read the lyrics again without the music, and they are really good, I hope it does make you strong Suzy.

What does He think of your music?

I'm going to PM you.

cpm

Thanks so much cpm Still struggling with the joining of the parts, but thanks for the reference to the Talking Heads I feel like this situation
has made me stronger, but the stress, has also paid it's toll on my health. I haven't payed this one for him yet...just can't quite fine the right time for it    I've written 4 other songs about him though, which he liked, but made him cry

[crystalsuzy]

Hey Suzy...this is quite an accomplishment. As others mentioned, the transitions need work, but I think it's really a great piece. I can feel the frustration and hope, mainly frustration, and helplessness. The contrast of the different sections is very effective. Transitioning from one section to another seems quite tricky to me; I wouldn't know how to do it. But I can tell it will be important to get them to move logically, though not necessarily "smoothly" from one to the next. Jarring elements would be very appropriate.

I hope you keep developing this one.

Vicki

thanks @CaliaMoko  I'm really glad that the emotions of frustration and helplessness came through for you...that would be my main goal  And now to get all the parts to flow logically and smoothly, although nothing really flows logically with him  It's all over the map, which is probably why this song came out as it did, as it was a stream of consciousness creation I like the jarring elements suggestion, though

[crystalsuzy]

Hi Suzy, I always look forward to listening to your work. Your four song concept is great. It's a trippy vibe. Totally unique and original and I absolutely love that so much. It's so lovely to listen to something other than a force fed  3 minutes of nothing 

Thanks for you very kind and supportive comments @pompeyjazz  I'm so glad that you like the concept idea and that you liked the vibe 
Means a lot 

[PaulAds]

I thought this was very touching...and managed to say something that very few writers could manage to do.

There was a lovely feel of lost innocence in here that was quite moving.

Amazing stuff, CS - a real treat listening to this.

And - if you'll pardon the slightly thoughtless pun - a real "Rock" Opera 

[Movin Flavour]

A mini masterpiece , especially like those little pulses and the small guitar segments.  Can empathise with anybody who lives with somebody with a mental illness.
The different segments reflecting those different states of mind...brave topic to cover, but you covered it well.

Sandeep

[redrhodie]

That was brilliant, beautiful, and really disturbing. Made me cry when you sang about your broken heart. I think the disjointed quality of it really adds something cool. It makes me understand what it's like to feel so out of control. Although I already kind of understand, if you get my drift.

You've made a really beautiful piece of art. I love it.

[montydog]

Hi Suze,

I always look forward to your songs - I know it's going to be a treat for the ears and the mind. I love your use of images and oblique ideas which suggest ideas rather than revealing all. Typing as I listen, the soundstage could be a little wider. You've got a lot going on which could benefit from more panning. This features your characteristic use of sound samples and frequent, unexpected changes of direction. Vocals are lovely as always. Stepping into your world is a leap of faith like listening to Joni Mitchell but trusting that it will make sense in the end.

Another masterpiece.

M

[crystalsuzy]

A beautiful and personal song. I'm not sure about it suddenly changing, I got a surprise lol.

thanks for your kind comments RKM I know what you mean about the sudden changes...still working on that

[crystalsuzy]

Hey Suze,I hope all is better with you than the song would suggest.

Man,I don't know where to start with this one.

I think it's an epic piece of work,ranging from singer songwriter territory to Beatles influenced psychedelia. I absolutely love what you've created here and whilst you say it's a work in progress,I'd be very careful what you change.

Personally I'd alter nothing about the structure of the song at all,other than using someone who knows production to spread out the sound and make it even bigger.

It's a damn fine song. 

I'm humbled by your comments Skub  Luckily I have songwriting and playing music as a therapy, so yes I am better than the song suggests
Your review means a lot to me, so it's much appreciated 

[tboswell]

Powerful stuff Suzy. Really hard to comment on something very personal and raw. Great respect to you for putting this kind of thing out there.
Loads of great things going on in there, I preferred the inner sections which reminded me a little of talking heads more loose stuff. The outer sections seemed very different and didn't quite fit in with the rest. If you could find a way to join them to the inner sections musically then it would be even more powerful.
Found the vocals a little overwhelming in the mix perhaps, harder to hear the rest of the arrangement.
Something unique from a truly unique voice. Respect!

[crystalsuzy]

Fascinating. So many different sides and edges to this, merging very well, if you ask me, musically and lyrically for the background story. Clearly took a lot to do this and is very heartfelt. Everything working really well, the light, shade, rough and smooth, harmonies and psychedelia. Loved the early guitars and interesting percussion and transitions.  it’s another very clever piece, lady. Be proud of yourself and your great strength and love.
Big love cxx

thank you so much @Cazrolina for your heart felt comments...I'm humbled I'm glad you appreciated all the different sections and that you didn't find the transitions too shocking  this is such a reflection of what it's like living with someone with these disorders...that's why the arrangement is like it is 

[crystalsuzy]

HI CS, another piece of interest from you, always trying something out! As others have said the transitions need sorting and smoothing, but I think that could be done. The change to the arpeggios might be a bit difficult. I especially liked the 'I can't take it anymore' section which is way too short, you could nearly carry a whole song with that idea. Took me into CSN&Y territory!
Great ideas (as usual!)
Cheers
Jamie

Thanks so much @Jamie  I'm still pondering as to what to do with this creation You're right, I could probably make two or three songs out of this track, but would I loose the emotional roller-coaster vibe? I'm glad you like that section, because that and the feeling of helplessness are the real biggies for me