[cowparsleyman]

This song doesn't sound finished to me, but I can't put my finger on what it is. Whether there is something missing or needs to be removed.

Just a bit of preamble, I wanted the solos to sound confused, like the mind of someone going through the melee' of an affair, or succumbing to a temptress, the confusion, the guilt etc.

What would you do? I'm open for any advice/suggestions.

I think the singing would be better done by an American vocalist, do you know any, that might be up for it?

https://soundcloud.com/cowparsleyman/she-shook-me-cold-v2

Thanks for listening

cpm

[Johnnyuk]

Hi cpm,
I just took a couple of listens to your song and this is what i think.
When everything kicks in after the intro it is ALL in your face! EVERYTHING is competing against your vocal when nothing ever should. So the best way to get it all under control would be to pull all the faders down leaving only your vocal,drums and bass. Now play it and balance the drums and bass against your vocal making sure none of them get in your vocals way volume wise. All the other stuff is decoration so once you balance those 3 elements out you can then bring in the other stuff. Do not let the other instruments take over. They are there to support your vocal unless your in a solo section. If you do this you should start to hear your song gel together a lot more than it is right now.
Johnny

[cowparsleyman]

Hi cpm,
I just took a couple of listens to your song and this is what i think.
When everything kicks in after the intro it is ALL in your face! EVERYTHING is competing against your vocal when nothing ever should. So the best way to get it all under control would be to pull all the faders down leaving only your vocal,drums and bass. Now play it and balance the drums and bass against your vocal making sure none of them get in your vocals way volume wise. All the other stuff is decoration so once you balance those 3 elements out you can then bring in the other stuff. Do not let the other instruments take over. They are there to support you vocal unless your in a solo section. If you do this you should start to hear your song gel together a lot more than it is right now.
Johnny

Hi Johnny

Thank very much for taking a listen, and commenting, I appreciate the time you've taken.

That was one of things, I couldn't get right, I certainly worked on getting the drums, bass and Vox balanced correctly, I'll try again, but I thought it was rather the'everything else' that needed taming, I think I'll pop those into a submix bus, and try that, it might work. I'm looking at the same BAMM as when the guitars come in on 'Smells like Teen Spirit'.

I have not worked with this kind of song before, so I am keen to know how to get it right, and I will get it right, with your help.

Thanks again

cpm

[Johnnyuk]

Hi cpm.
Try what i said in my last post and then re post it up on here and i'll take another listen no problem.
It' ok to throw everything into a demo when you start a new song. But once you get all your ideas into lets say the chorus. Then you should start to cherry pick. Meaning only keep the licks/riffs/piano parts or fx or whatever. Only keep them in if they support your vocal. If they don't then get rid and try something else cos you will find something better 100%.

Johnny

[cowparsleyman]

Hi cpm.
Try what i said in my last post and then re post it up on here and i'll take another listen no problem.
It' ok to throw everything into a demo when you start a new song. But once you get all your ideas into lets say the chorus. Then you should start to cherry pick. Meaning only keep the licks/riffs/piano parts or fx or whatever. Only keep them in if they support your vocal. If they don't then get rid and try something else cos you will find something better 100%.

Johnny

OK,
I also might re record the last solo, I recorded it wet, and the individual notes seem to get lost, tried to eq it back, but to no avail.

cpm

[tone]

Hello cpm

Good advice already about the mix. I would just add that I think the bass needs taming just a touch, especially on the popped notes. They jump out a bit too much IMO.

As far as your concerns about the arrangement, I'm also not convinced it's working as well as it could. The second guitar solo is where it falters for me. Either it needs to go or be reduced in length. I would also repeat the chorus once more before fading out as it felt quite abrupt.

Nice intro on this one.

[cowparsleyman]

Hi Tone

Thanks very much for listening and your comments, yes, you might have swayed it with the 2nd solo...

I want to get the mix right, then make a decision.

cpm

[cowparsleyman]

By the way if there are any rock drummers that fancy doing the drums properly, especially the triplets at the end...let me know,

Apologies for their sloppiness, I always wanted to be able to deliver fancy kick/tom/tom & kick/tom/snare triplets, but could never get them as slick as I wanted.

cpm

[Johnnyuk]

By the way if there are any rock drummers that fancy doing the drums properly, especially the triplets at the end...let me know,

Apologies for their sloppiness, I always wanted to be able to deliver fancy kick/tom/tom & kick/tom/snare triplets, but could never get them as slick as I wanted.

cpm

Hi cpm
I'll have a go at some drums for you if you like? Let me know. If you say yes then i will need the tempo from you.
Johnny

[cowparsleyman]

By the way if there are any rock drummers that fancy doing the drums properly, especially the triplets at the end...let me know,

Apologies for their sloppiness, I always wanted to be able to deliver fancy kick/tom/tom & kick/tom/snare triplets, but could never get them as slick as I wanted.

cpm

Hi cpm
I'll have a go at some drums for you if you like? Let me know. If you say yes then i will need the tempo from you.
Johnny

Cheers Johnny, that's really big of you, maybe I can help you out sometime, not sure how...

I'll check it out, I'm at work at the moment, how about if i post a no drums version on SC, would that help, with bpm etc.

cpm

[Johnnyuk]

By the way if there are any rock drummers that fancy doing the drums properly, especially the triplets at the end...let me know,

Apologies for their sloppiness, I always wanted to be able to deliver fancy kick/tom/tom & kick/tom/snare triplets, but could never get them as slick as I wanted.

cpm

Hi cpm
I'll have a go at some drums for you if you like? Let me know. If you say yes then i will need the tempo from you.
Johnny

Cheers Johnny, that's really big of you, maybe I can help you out sometime, not sure how...

I'll check it out, I'm at work at the moment, how about if i post a no drums version on SC, would that help, with bpm etc.

cpm

Hi,
When you get home just find out the tempo and post what it is in here for me ok?
I will then make a drum track then send you the link for it so you can play along to it and see if it works for your song. And after that if you want it i can then email the drum loop to you no problem.
Johnny

[MichaelA]

I quite like what you call 'lead mayhem' CPM. The song is quite high energy in its deliberately retro style - reminds me in the chorus of The Who a bit.

As a mixing tip, well I always look at the final Soundwave shape, which is easy on SC. If it quite flat, as is this, I realise I can vary the dynamics a bit to create more light and shade in the song. Just adds to the interest and delivers a bit more punch that way, I feel.

Enjoyable song though.

[cowparsleyman]

I quite like what you call 'lead mayhem' CPM. The song is quite high energy in its deliberately retro style - reminds me in the chorus of The Who a bit.

As a mixing tip, well I always look at the final Soundwave shape, which is easy on SC. If it quite flat, as is this, I realise I can vary the dynamics a bit to create more light and shade in the song. Just adds to the interest and delivers a bit more punch that way, I feel.

Enjoyable song though.

Hi Michael, thanks for your honest words, keep em coming.

funny I noticed that too, with the waveform and tried to do something about it, I've done a couple of mixes since, (Ian Shephard, the dynamic range day guy, would turn in his grave - were he dead, but he ins't).

Do you know I've never been convinced by this song at all, I liked the lyrics and what the song is saying in 3mins or so, that's why I wanted to try again to see if I could make it appealing to me, maybe the first demo was not really my bag, I just wanted to do something different. I still think it would be better done by someone else, who does that grunge thing all the time, with an American singer.

Really chuffed that you like it.

cpm

[Johnnyuk]

In about 15 minutes i'll post you the link to what i've done so far so you can hear it cpm.
It's sounding good. I did the intro and other parts to give you an idea of how it could sound. It's about 48 seconds long so far. I've added musical elements just so i can get the drums right. I needed something to work too.
15 mins ok
Johnny

[Johnnyuk]

Hi cpm.
Here is what i've done so far.

Link: https://allihoopa.com/s/DUySBC6x

Johnny