[Sullish]

2nd offering on here, whaddya think guys?

http://snd.sc/nRRuNx


Time will change everything and thats a fact
And i know you ain’t ever coming back
Time has changed me for good and for bad
I’ve been happy and I’ve been so sad

If i said i love you, would you stay a while
If i could hold you and see one more smile

Its time to change
Its time to move on
Its time to admit that i was wrong for ever holding on so long to you

Love is strange it can be so cruel
Make you crazy act like a fool
It takes time to heal a heart
Just a beat to tear apart

Love to see you smile and run your hands through your hair
I still wake every morning thinking you’re still there


Its time to change
Its time to move on
Its time to admit that i was wrong for ever holding on so long to you

[Mr.Chainsaw]

I'd consider swapping the first verse around to

Time has changed me for good and for bad
I’ve been happy and I’ve been so sad
Time will change everything and thats a fact
And i know you ain’t ever coming back

That first line makes you wonder "hows he changed?"

My only reservations are that some lines are cliche. I'd try and present what you're saying in a quirkier way maybe. But that's just my writing style

Also, LOVE that guitar solo. Good mix of techniques, left me wanting more!

Peter

[The Corsair]

I agree with Mr Chainsaw actually in that a lot of the lines feel quite cliched...

The single standout line has to be 'just a beat to tear apart', which is, quite plainly, excellent. It shows you can write outside of the otherwise standard and largely uninteresting way everything else is written in.

Sorry if I'm sounding all negative

[Jennibean]

I feel very not able to be a constuctive critic because I am so green. I really think it says what you feel and I think it is great!  I do agree that the line swap would work better as well - go with the flow ...

[jim morrison]

I'll be honest ,its not the type of song i like however your voice is very good and guitar playing was good, i'm interested to hear future tracks.

[Sullish]

Bump!

[Schavuitje]

How rude And you have done it with 3 posts...