[Paulski]

Thanks to everyone for the kind comments and advice.
I've tweaked it quite a bit - hopefully it's getting better 
Any glaring issues?


The Trouble Is..
Copyright 2018 Tennyson Road Music

 Alzheimer's is a devil and a thief
 He runs off with the ones you love, steals their memories
 So when I visit Dad and see his distant eyes
 I know I'm just another face he doesn't recognize

 He talks to Mom as though she's still around
 But it's almost 20 years now since we laid her in the ground
 He wouldn't be as safe, if he were living on his own
 But the trouble is.. he thinks he'll soon be home

ch
 And he tells me how she's waiting for him there
 With her Mona Lisa smile,
 And her Judy Garland hair
 Says she's busy in the kitchen, makin' supper on the stove
 And the trouble is: he thinks he'll soon be home

 I'll spare you all the grief of when he died
 Suffice to say I kissed his cheek goodbye, then I cried
 I knew that soon I'd lose him, but if the truth were known
 The trouble is..
 Yeah, the trouble is..
 I lost him years ago

.....instr...

 It goes against what common sense says happens to our souls
 But, the trouble is.. I know he made it home

 And he held her in his arms when he got there
 Kissed her Mona Lisa smile,
 Touched her Judy Garland hair
 They had supper in the kitchen, got caught up around the stove
 Though it goes against my common sense, I know
   
 The trouble is..
 The trouble is..
 The trouble is..
 I know he made it home.


PREVIOUS VERSION ********************************

The Trouble Is..
Copyright 2018 Tennyson Road Music

 Alzheimer's is a terrible disease
 It runs off with the ones you love, steals their memories
 So when I visit Dad, I see his distant eyes
 And I know I'm just another face he doesn't recognize

 He talks of Mom like she is still around
 But it's almost 20 years now since we laid her in the ground
 He wouldn't be too safe now - living on his own
 But the trouble is.. he thinks he'll soon be home

ch
 And he tells me how he sees her standing there
 With her Mona Lisa smile,
 And her Judy Garland hair
 Says she's busy in the kitchen, makin' supper on the stove
 And the trouble is: he thinks he'll soon be home

 I'll spare you all the grief of when he died
 Suffice to say I kissed his cheek goodbye, then I cried
 I knew that I'd soon lose him, but if the truth were known
 The trouble is..
 Yeah, the trouble is..
 I lost him years ago

.....instr...

 I know it contradicts what science predicts will happen to our souls
 But the trouble is.. I know he made it home

 And he held her in his arms when he got there
 Kissed her Mona Lisa smile,
 Stroked her Judy Garland hair
 They had supper in the kitchen, got caught up around the stove
 Though it contradicts most everything I know
 The trouble is I know he made it home

 Yes it contradicts..
 what good science predicts..
 will happen to our souls

 But the trouble is..
 The trouble is..
 The trouble is..
 I know he made it home.

[CaliaMoko]

Nice, Paul. And so relevant these days.

I have one comment--not really a suggestion--rather just another possibility for these two lines:

So when I visit Dad, I and see his distant eyes
And I know I'm just another face he doesn't recognize

Not necessarily better...just another way to say it, a slightly different nuance.

Vicki

[adamfarr]

Hey Paulski - so delicate and very ... human. I really like the feeling v science theme: It's a great way of explaining what we all feel sometimes. "The trouble is" is clever but poignant too.

The one thing I'd think about is the first couplet - in some ways I think works to come out and state a fact. But I think the rhyme with memories could sound a bit twee and contrast with the subtlety to come. I'm trying to think of a better lead in. Perhaps switching lines could work e.g.:

When I visit Dad, and see his distant eyes
I know I'm just another face he doesn't recognize
Bodies resist but it's a different disease
It runs off with the ones you love, steals their memories

Thinking really quickly which doesn't do justice to the theme and I have no idea of what you have in mind sonically but a suggestion to start it off slightly differently in case that might work...

[rightly]

Very clearly written. Relatable and masterfully written.
I hope it's not but suspect it's a personal story.

[Paulski]

Thanks Vicki, Adam and Rightly - much appreciate the visit and the comments.
Vicki - yes I like that idea - makes the whole first verse almost one sentence which flows better I think. Thanks!
Adam - I'll have a think on your sugg. I agree that opening line is a bit too in-your-face and obvious. I was hoping because it is a "story" song I could get away with it  .
Rightly - cheers. No, happily it's not a personal story but my mother is now 90, in a seniors' home and getting a bit confused so there was some inspiration there.

[Katie Wilson]

Very moving and sad , I'm sure that lots of people can relate to this situation xxx

[josemar]

that's excellent Paulski.
Adam Farr's comment is worth considering...for the seriousness of the lyric...the predictable 'e' rhyme sounds ''twee''....

There's a lovely internal rhyme announcing the bridge....

Very good indeed )

[Royston]

Hi Paul

This is lyric very relevant the way this decease is affecting so many people in this world today.

My Mother In Law who suffered from dementia for some years was just how you describe in your lyric
a very class write thanks for posting.

Royston

[Paulski]

Katie, josemar and Royston

Thanks so much for the supportive comments.
I made a few more tweaks - hope it's moving in the right direction - just about ready to record

cheers
Paul

[Vintage54]

  Hi Paulski,
     Love this, not sure it needed tweeking. What a vivid picture you paint, i see the old man, feel the young mans pain. That's a successful portrait as far as i'm concerned. Great write, up there with your best.

                                      Vintage54

[lillypilly]

I have no gripes with these lyrics at all, is an excellent write and such a prominent topic now

looking forward to hear it

[DaveDeMann]

Hi Paul

There's a post on the forums about a TV show looking for songs written about a loved one. Take a look, you might find it interesting.

[cowparsleyman]

Hi Paulski

Great work on a delicate subject. Love the Mona Lisa smile and the Judy Garlnad bit, I agree with CaliaMoko, seems like their are quite a lot of words to process, maybe use inference, let the listener develop his own meaning of the story, until it clicks...(I know it throws the melody right out...)

He's a devil and a thief
runs off with the ones you love, steals the memories
when I visit, look through his eyes
I'm just another face he doesn't recognize

(the listener is kind of getting the message, but not sure yet)

talks to Mom like she's still around
20 years since she's peace she found

(another thread joins the story...)

Sort of thing...just ideas...

Hope you don't mind.

cpm


ch
 And he tells me how she's waiting for him there
 With her Mona Lisa smile,
 And her Judy Garland hair
 Says she's busy in the kitchen, makin' supper on the stove
 And the trouble is: he thinks he'll soon be home

[Mike67]

No glaring issues - just really great and poignant piece of writing.