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SKIN JUNKIE (language warning)

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SFX

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« on: February 04, 2018, 12:44:18 PM »
So I haven't written anything in a while and this is my first draft of a new song I jotted down in about ten minutes, I'd love to hear your thoughts :)


Listen to me baby coz Im’ bout to get as human as human gets
You say do you drive me crazy well baby is water wet?
Your eyes are contagious, intravenous and they pierce through me
They say loves a drug and I would overdose on yours happily

You say I got that look like butter wouldn’t melt
But I got that shit drippin’ all over myself
I can’t help myself, I’m goin’ mouth to mouth
And you can follow that little trickle way down south

I’m your fucked up little skin junkie
And you know
I’ve lost all sense of immunity
(touch me)
I’m your acid little skin junkie
Don’t you know
I’m poison for your purity
(love me)

You’ve really messed the balance in my brain and now I’m a little whack
I need something to calm me down and you’re the perfect Prozac
And when I brush my fingertips over your skin just like a desert
You bring me a high no drink, no drug, no love could measure

I’m your fucked up little skin junkie
And you know
I’ve lost all sense of immunity
(touch me)
I’m your acid little skin junkie
Don’t you know
I’m poison for your purity
(love me)

Lets play connect the dots with the loves that I’ve lost
My body a wilderness of the pain that I’ve caused
A fruitful treasure trail of triumphs and fails
You can read my body with your fingertips just like braille
 
You’re my dirty little skin junkie
Now that you’re addicted to me


I’m your fucked up little skin junkie
And you know
I’ve lost all sense of immunity
(touch me)
I’m your acid little skin junkie
Don’t you know
I’m poison for your purity
(love me)
« Last Edit: February 04, 2018, 07:49:09 PM by SFX »

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2018, 02:34:43 PM »
For a ten minute lyric, this works pretty well for me. I noticed a couple spots that seemed out of sync?? Not sure. For the most part, though, I find all the word-painted images clear, vivid, and imaginative. Definitely not trite or common.

The jarring (to me) bits are just two, I think. The word "intravenous" in the first verse. Or maybe it's "contagious". Not sure. Basically, the flow of words seems to be disconnected; they don't feel like they go together. For me. And it is certainly a strong possibility that I'm missing the point.

The other one is "you're the perfect Prozac". Up to that point, I'm getting the impression that the object of affection (or lust) is causing all your craziness. Then suddenly s/he becomes the cure. ?? And now, even as I write that, I realize this can actually work. Whatever is driving you crazy could also provide the solution.

So, food for thought, but not necessarily indicative of anything wrong with the lyric. In general, this is an impressive collection of word images generated in a very short time. I have envy. ;D

Vicki

Vintage54

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« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2018, 10:25:34 PM »

  Hello,
    Yes i noticed that you went missing for a spell. That has to mean something. I also notice that all of your postings, though original, and very well written, seem to be on the same subject of love and/or obsession, correct me if i'm wrong. I believe you are very talented, quite unique, but i would like to see you branch out more, become a little less one dimensional, broaden your horizons. Having said that, this is great stuff, and hard to put down.

                    Vintage54

                       

SFX

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« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2018, 11:53:00 PM »

  Hello,
    Yes i noticed that you went missing for a spell. That has to mean something. I also notice that all of your postings, though original, and very well written, seem to be on the same subject of love and/or obsession, correct me if i'm wrong. I believe you are very talented, quite unique, but i would like to see you branch out more, become a little less one dimensional, broaden your horizons. Having said that, this is great stuff, and hard to put down.

                    Vintage54



What would you say it means? ;)

And ok, good idea! Do you have anything you'd want to see me tackle or any suggestions on other topics I could write about? :)