konalavadome

Lights Go Down

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Johnnyuk

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« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2018, 08:24:52 PM »
Hi Jack!
I enjoyed the listen. It has a load of potential 100%.
There are certain aspects i would look at.
The length of this song, at 4:41 for me is way way too long.
Keeping it short and sweet will defo benefit your song.

Musically i found some elements competing with your vocal. This should never be the case. Your vocal is No1 and anything around you should only be supporting YOU and not fighting for space with YOU. The electric guitar in the verses for me  doesn't need to be there. I wanna hear you.
A very good song none the less!
Johnny :)
« Last Edit: February 20, 2018, 08:32:25 PM by Johnnyuk »

rightly

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« Reply #16 on: February 21, 2018, 03:06:20 PM »
I really like all of this.
Full of surprises, excellent production.

Thanks for sharing!  :)
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

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cowparsleyman

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« Reply #17 on: February 21, 2018, 09:31:21 PM »
Really like this Jack, my kind of song, loved the BVox arrangment, they are very tight, and nice levels, must have taken quite a bit of planning, and execution.

I love the way you exepriment with your voice Jack, take quite a bit of nerve to play with that.

Brave to put in a flute solo, nice use of the strings with the Chorus,

Great work.

btw I like Elastic Justice too....

cpm

DaveDeMann

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« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2018, 12:08:59 PM »
Quite likable.

but, in the world of lyrics (other than opera, and maybe folk) less is more.

Pretty likable song though

Cawproductions

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« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2018, 04:18:27 PM »
Hi jack,

Nice track, I think someone said before, as a dance track I would like the hear that Kik and Bass absolutely bangin. Suppose thats a production thing.

Nice song tho, lyrics and vocal always good mate,

Cool track.

Mikey

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« Reply #20 on: February 22, 2018, 07:44:56 PM »
Yet another great song, up to your usual high standard, keep 'em coming Jack

Cheers, Mikey

Neil C

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« Reply #21 on: February 25, 2018, 09:56:23 AM »
Promising start. Got all the bits in here, disco drum, octave bass, sythns and guitars all period correct.
And your vocals, great with the vocoder bv's too. The guitar part is the hook.
In terms of suggestions, there is a lot going on structurally and it was only towards the end did I finally get which bit was the chorus.  Now that maybe me being thick but its need to build to a really simple catchy chorus. So I would have gone straight to the chorus a 46 secs and make it lift off at that stage. Like dancing queen does.

Perhaps less is more for a dance track and this a caught up with a more complex show tune in a disco style?
I hope this makes sense and is helpful.
I did enjoyed it..
 :)
neil
songwriter of no repute..

jacksimmons

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« Reply #22 on: February 26, 2018, 12:19:28 AM »
Thank you everyone! Really appreciate you all taking the time to listen, and the criticism and feedback has been invaluable. Still have a lot to learn about dance/disco music. My next tune is a Pet Shops Boys rip off and I think I've taken all of this on board for that one :D
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"When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony." - Robert Matthew Van Winkle

diademgrove

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« Reply #23 on: March 01, 2018, 04:12:11 PM »
Hi Jack

I liked this. Do I hear a touch of the cap to Edmyn Collins. Looking forward to your next song,

Keith