konalavadome

Half a song - Loin De Mois

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Ramshackles

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« on: January 31, 2018, 09:42:41 PM »
Hey all, its been ages since I posted any form of song at all, so I'm coming back with a roughly sketched out half song :P
We've been writing and recording, planning to start gigging here in France and maybe start youtubing.

Bit stuck on this song - I can't decide if it sounds too much or not, or what arrangement to settle on.

It's only half a song since the 2nd half doesn't have complete lyrics so I stopped playing when it gets to the change.

Pretty poor audio - we were just recording live into a camcorder (trying things out for youtubing...)

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1hgADaKEaUrvXy7neWgUpX_PGvgwxZHDd

Keep it as just piano & voice or not? Any other thoughts?

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2018, 10:26:37 PM »
Hi Ram. The far away months,  and great title and works so well in French.  Listened a couple of times. The piano and vocals are both great and it would work like that imo. Just ideas but maybe a solo cello or maybe accordian as vous etres en France. It's a brilliant melody and has a sort of 30s or 40s feel to it. Good luck with the French gigs. In my experience,  if you throw in one Johnny Haliday cover you will be local heroes  :)

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2018, 10:30:25 PM »
Sorry, phone died. One Johnny Haliday,  One original,  One of Les Beatles in the early years.  Vous etes ou en France ?

Ramshackles

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« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2018, 10:57:56 AM »
Thanks pompey.
I'm in Roanne, which is not so far from Lyon.
I don't have a cello or accordion and don't (yet) know anyone who plays one so I might have to settle on a different instrument to accompany it...or none at all.

Johnny Haliday  ;D
« Last Edit: February 01, 2018, 11:29:03 AM by Ramshackles »

dasntn

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« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2018, 11:03:54 AM »
Hi Ram

that's a great half a song. If that was the full length, I would stay with just piano and vocals. If you take it on longer, then it would be good to add a bit more instrumentation - I hear bass and tin whistles, but I play those so I would!

Could always do a remote collaboration to provide something like that, if you're interested
all the best, and enjoy France!

Dave

MjayP

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« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2018, 10:56:18 PM »
I agree that this is a great half song. Some accordion would be amazing in the French section. Also, call me a whimsical fellow, but I think somebody whistling the piano melody would sound great. To confirm, that’s human whistling, not tin.

The music has a happy care-free feel about it, which is why I like the whistling idea. There’s a nice little change of pace at the end which, although not fully formed, point towards a decent second half/bridge/outro.

I look forward to seeing where this goes!

All the best.

Matt

Ramshackles

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« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2018, 07:34:42 AM »
Thanks for the feedback!
So I'm gonna try and do a proper demo with the second half as well.
I'll see if I can incorporate your suggestions on extra instrumentation in the second half and see what it sounds like with the first half just vox & piano and a fuller arrangement on the next bit....

Ramshackles

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« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2018, 09:22:15 AM »
We have started (ish) recording it:
https://soundcloud.com/ramshackles/loin-des-mois-demo-01/s-vtWtD

Still got to do the vocals on the second half but it is roughly the whole piano track (vocal tune for the 2nd half pretty much follows the piano). So I am thinking about leaving the first half - perhaps some bass toward the end as @dasntn suggested, then bringing in more instrumentation for the second half. I'm not sure what.
Perhaps some kind of percussion?
Or perhaps I need to split the piano arrangement for the second half across multiple instruments.

Would love a cello as @pompeyjazz suggested but prefer to keep instrumentation like that real...perhaps there is a cello player lurking in this town somewhere.

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2018, 01:06:20 PM »
Hi Ramshackles

Great idea, at about 1:30 that rhythm on the keys could be done on a finger picked guitar, there is a guitar in there providing the bass, but maybe that could be done by a double bass (that could be midi) that'll give the piece a break from the piano.

To my ears the blue notes 0:43 for example,  don't suit the style of the piece, like bends in jazz guitar.

The re introduction of the theme at about 2:39 could be where it all joins up, maybe BVox

hope this helps...

cpm


dasntn

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« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2018, 08:52:33 AM »
Hi

there's a lovely, wide open space feel to this.  I do wonder if the piano around 1:20 is a bit overpowering for the vocal (lots of notes going on!).  Looking forward to hearing the finished production!

cheers
Dave

Ramshackles

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« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2018, 04:00:18 PM »
Thanks guys.
So I'm gonna take your advice and try the following:

- redo the piano without any blue notes
- Try to tone down the piano at 1:20 to a less cluttered part somehow
- Try doing the second part on guitar

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2018, 05:29:59 PM »
Thanks guys.
So I'm gonna take your advice and try the following:

- redo the piano without any blue notes
- Try to tone down the piano at 1:20 to a less cluttered part somehow
- Try doing the second part on guitar

Hi ramshackles, can’t wait to hear it, cpm

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2018, 10:32:32 AM »
Hello Rammshackles,

lovely piano.  I’d love to hear a fully blown studio version of this with lots of instruments.  It’s always a pleasure to hear songs in their early stages.  The outro is delightful!

Paul
" We're learning to Quickstep.  You're dancing with me"

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Ramshackles

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« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2018, 12:03:25 PM »
I had a quick go at doing the piano outro on guitar, I'm not entirely convinced. Here is a short clip:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10MMeEATYYCTtGYqdkqbqBTJQoKqlgaxO/view?usp=sharing

Feels a bit like too much of a break to me? Perhaps with some other instrumentation, or recording the guitar a bit brighter so its' tonally more similar to the piano. Hmm.

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2018, 12:39:29 PM »
I had a quick go at doing the piano outro on guitar, I'm not entirely convinced. Here is a short clip:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10MMeEATYYCTtGYqdkqbqBTJQoKqlgaxO/view?usp=sharing

Feels a bit like too much of a break to me? Perhaps with some other instrumentation, or recording the guitar a bit brighter so its' tonally more similar to the piano. Hmm.

Hi The Shackles Meister

Thanks for trying...

Miles better...You are right it sounds to stark a cut off, but to my ears it's a more sonically interesting song, it does add a contrast, keep the piano going pan a bit left, retain the guitar fade it in and pan a bit right, add a double bass, then fade out the piano near the end, bring the guitar back to centre and a slow fade to black.

cpm