I've begun a song, it's loosely about being forced to be someone you're not. I'm really looking for inspiration of where to take it or for verses. It's very much fluid and work in progress at the moment, I'm toying with things. I'm trying to have the lyrics be smart/well thought out, but also have good flow (you know like catchy or rolls of the tongue easy and naturally follows on from before).
I'm trying to dig myself out of the trope of rhyming every line and getting cheesy, but like I say, early stages right now and ongoing refinements/experimentation.
The first two verses (bold) were kind of my starting point I tried to build around but I'm still unsure of direction and if I want to keep anything I've come up with thus far.
I'm interested in verse suggestions and if you like anything (I'm my own worst critic and will likely throw everything away) and where I can go with this.
I get into a little of a rut once I have my starting points, like I'm writing to a brief and writing contrived things so I need to be ruthless and cut the nonsense until I get to all killer and no filler.
Doodles so far:
It's the gift I have to give
It's the smile that you take
I'm always caught in-between who I am
And what you'd like me to fake
Tell me I'm wrong
Tell me I'm right
Let the morning sun decide
This is how I see it
All the smiles are depleted
Take a look around empty house
Quiet lounge
Sofa from our first day throw it out
Now I know what you’re about
Don’t expect me to stick around
Just another day you make me fake it
Can’t have self esteem without a self
And my identity you take it
Once upon a time thought we’d make it
But you’re just you and you won’t let me be me
Tried to be your man
But inside
There’s a boy trying to get out
Packs his bags he’s leaving
Sick of the guy controlling
And changing like the seasons
Grabs his coat
Leaves a note
Of just lyrics he wrote
Wants you to know
He had a gift to give
That’s the smile you take
Sick of not being who he is
Always being what you want him to fake
And this is how it ends
Too late to make amends
Control freaks never prosper
Just drive people under
Now you threw it away
The gift I have to give
Is the smile that you take
And all I really have
Is the time that you waste
how can I have self esteem
when you won't let me be myself
and we aren't a team
feel like I'm locked in a cage
of how you want me to behave
nothing's like before
lost inside the guy that you had in mind
but soon you'll see who I'm meant to be
cause all your friends are so fake
and that's not me
had enough of everything
who died and made you queen
all the trends that you follow
have our personalities so hollow
to me this isn't suited
my personality is diluted
and my smile is something that you looted
have I passed your test yet
changed my clothes and changed my accent
Guess we should call it quits
I'm out of reasons to stay
And you're out of things to change about me
I'm not a statue you can sculpt to suit
I'm not a plant you can watch grow up
I'm already grown and I am who I am
Can't fit in with your trendy friends
Can't go to parties under false pretense
Can't hold your hand like we're more than friends
All the plans you've made are pretend
When will your charade come to its end
When will you let me be myself
Alone when you're beside me
Reaching out to the real me
Faking smiles to your friends when they met me
I'm me and the person you want me to be
Hiding one or the other should probably set him free
This relationship is sinking
My personality is leaking
Already see you leaving
You can't make me who you want
I'm outta your control
So let me go
What do you like / not like? Where can I go with this song? Do you have any verse suggestions?
Should I try to get it simple like a couple recurring verses, some instrumental interludes and some na na na na na's or something?
Please give me totally honest and brutal feedback where necessary.
