[Bankie]

I'm on a real purple patch at the moment having completed 3 other songs in the last 3 weeks or so. I don't tie myself to a particular style, but melodic rock is where I end up a lot, and that's what this is.

I do this for fun, so I normally just post to Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/Colin-McGregor-108833974644/). Problem is, family and friends aren't the best people for giving criticism (constructive or otherwise),  so am particularly interested in any areas you think could be improved.

https://soundcloud.com/bankie666/underneath-my-skin

Lyrics

Verse
Your voice calls out my name
And tells me I'm to blame
But I did my best, I'd say
Yet you treated me this way

You looked inside my heart
And picked me all apart
You said I was enough
But this wasn't love

Chorus
What kind of fool do you take me for?
Pulling me inside-out and more
All of this trouble you got me in
You're so far underneath my skin

Verse
There's a corner of my mind
Don't want anyone to find
How can I let anybody see
There's a part of me that still believes

(Repeat chorus)

How can a moment last forever?
I hear you say you'll never go
How do you haunt my every move?

(Repeat chorus)

[junkman]

Hi really like the song, the vocals remind me of Metronomy, both your voice and your treatment of it. The melody and lyrics are really effective, the dry 70's style of production is really cool, and I like the harmonies in the chorus too.

I do wonder if a less boom-tat-boom-tat kind of drum track would do the song more justice? That's a laid back style but lyrically this isn't a laid back song. I'd like to hear this done slightly faster, with more of an insistent four-to-the-floor kind of beat (and you could do it without snare in the verses - e.g. mainly kick and hi hat - to build tension). Anyway those are my thoughts! Nice work dude

[Bankie]

Thanks for the feedback, Junkman. Interesting thoughts. Drums are my main weakness in general (other than my voice, but I just have to make the most of what I've got with that). I had a quick listen to Metronomy - that guy has a higher voice than mine for sure, and they use a lot of backing rather than doubling, but I can see where you're coming from. Anyway, appreciate you taking the time to listen!

[pompeyjazz]

Yeah Bankie, The first lesson we all have to learn is that family and friends are not remotely interested in your music. The second lesson is that you will get eff all feedback from any radio stuff unless you sound like Ed  So if you want to to just enjoy it, stick around man as your music has lots of stuff going on ☺

[pnb]

Hi,

Thought the chorus was great, particularly the first line. The second line, my mind wanted it go somewhere else on a couple of notes (but that might just mean I need a second listen, which I will).

Thought the intro was good.

The melody in the verse was a little too centered on the root note for me, although I get that that might be part of the style you were trying to deliver. But, perhaps it could deviate just a little more?

Bridge was great, outro was good. Good song length.

On the whole, I think this has the potential to be a really great song. The arrangement is good, but I think I want the production bigger, louder and more aggressive. It has power and I like it. Congrats.

Paul.

[Bankie]

Nice feedback - thanks very much. I did consider sprucing up the melody line of the verse, but because it grew on me and kept the impact of the more melodic chorus, I decided to keep it that way.

On a slightly separate note, I was wondering how people use feedback. Now, I did post a section in the WIP forum for feedback when I was a bit stuck on the arrangement for the chorus (so the use of that feedback is obvious), but once a song is done, we're surely a lot less likely to go back and refine, especially since going on to a new song is much more fun. Personally, I just want to see how others perceive what I'm doing, which I think can help me in my future endeavours.

[pnb]

Yes , I’m with you on this.

To be honest, for me, the amount of effort it takes to complete a song means that I’m unlikely to go back and change anything unless it’s a production issue.

Having said that the feedback will definitely help me approach the next song with a slightly different perspective and approach.

Ideally, I want to hear genuine criticism. Not “didn’t like this”, “must try harder”, “not my cup of tea” etc. That teaches me nothing at all. And yet, at the same time, I’d hate it just as much if everyone just served up platitudes and told each other how great we all are.

For me, putting up songs for review makes me feel hugely vulnerable. It exposes my skill ( or lack thereof) as well as my soul. But, the music comes from deep within and it deserves to be put out there regardless of people’s opinions or whether it’s listened to. Having said that if those opinions from those listens help me to grow, I’m extremely grateful for them.

Paul

[mickyplankton]

Hi Pnb.

Can't really offer much constructive feedback I'm afraid. I think it's a top song, well produced, good guitars and catchy. Hard to find any room for improvement.

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Cheers

Micky

[Bankie]

Hi Pnb.

Pnb is good enough without taking the credit for my stuff too

[mickyplankton]

Sorry Bankie!

[pnb]

Tee hee....I’ll claim it no problem. 

[Jamie]

Hi, love the acoustic guitar harmonics, I did think the electric guitar harmonics in the chorus didn't really work as well though .Nice sound and a good song, you sang it well. I liked the guitar tone in the solo.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[Katie Wilson]

This is lovely , so easy to listen to and put to together - I like it , lovely melody xxx

[Mikey]

Good track, I like songs that have good contrast between sections, I agree that the drum track could have more power, and I found the mix lacking in bottom end, but the guitars were nice and overall its a good listen.

nice job, Mikey

[Hooded Singer]

I liked it. Don't know what else to say about it.

I like the structure you came up with, just four verses that seem to fit around each other plus the chorus. Something nice and simple about it, like you didn't over-complicate things. Which was probably helped by your speed in writing 3 songs in 3 weeks.