Collaboration with Lynn and Dave: The Lake was Frozen - new mixes added

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diademgrove

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« on: January 12, 2018, 09:10:12 AM »
This started life as an instrumental called Juu-nin to-iro until Lynn and Dave added words and a snyth line. They transformed what I'd recorded and made it so much better. Let us know what you think. Here's the words:

The lake was frozen
The man walked out on the lake
The ice cracked and he fell through
Under the ice there was a fish
The fish said to the man
"Look for the sun"
A ray of light came
And held the man by the hand
And showed him the way
Through the hole in the ice

https://soundcloud.com/diademgrove/and-faraway-my-lovely-the-lake-was-frozen

Here's a mix with a slightly different vocal treatment:

https://soundcloud.com/diademgrove/faraway-my-lovely-the-lake-was-frozen-voices-in-the-head-mix

Thanks,

Keith

« Last Edit: February 02, 2018, 10:27:35 PM by diademgrove »

MichaelA

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« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2018, 10:38:57 AM »
Sweet story and an atmospheric bit of music for your poetry. Interesting slice of artiness!
My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

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digger72

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« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2018, 02:44:21 PM »
Hi Keith/Lynn/Dave,

The lyrics do add a certain something to the original instrumental.
Lynn's voice is perfect for the mood.
Love the short and sweet lyrics.

Very cool and chilled out.

Digger

redrhodie

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« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2018, 07:01:19 PM »
Thanks for listening Michael. I appreciate the feedback. You're very kind.

Thanks Digger. I have been listening to Keith's original instrumental pretty much daily as a way to forget my troubles for 3 minutes. But even though I got to know it pretty well, I had no idea what I was going to do to it. I watched Dave add the synthesizer, and I decided I'd do what he just did. I'd improvise.

The story came out as I listened, and I did one take. I was hearing it as I was telling it. It was pretty magical. I told Keith after I felt like Jim Morrison. Then I got worried he'd think I was on a bender. Haha. (I wasn't.)

I know this won't be everyone's cup of tea, but I really love it, mostly because I didn't know this much hope and light was in me. If I'd have taken the time to think about it and write it, he probably would've drowned, and the fish would have had his dinner. Haha.







pompeyjazz

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« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2018, 10:48:26 PM »
Yeah, I can get those Jim Morrison vibes as well Lynn. I really liked it but in my opinion you should take all that reverb off the vocal and bring it all up front. It's a brilliantly inventive track and hats off for posting as I'm thinking of posting some more experimental stuff soon. Must say that I Rain Rain is a real grower and on my playlist  :)

shadowfax

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« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2018, 09:05:26 AM »
A Fab track, agree with John, vocal should be more upfront...
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Katie Wilson

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« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2018, 09:11:44 AM »
Interesting wasn't sure about first but grew on me - sounded very Japanese to me , maybe on a film , just caught that oriental feeling for me .

diademgrove

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« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2018, 10:42:42 AM »
Thanks for all the comments, much appreciated. The translation for the original instrumental was ten people, ten colours. Which seems apt.

The mix is how I hear the words with the original instrumental. The narrator is under the water with the fish, her words are slightly wet and are bouncing off the ice.

Thanks again,

Keith


redrhodie

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« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2018, 11:23:06 AM »
Yeah, I can get those Jim Morrison vibes as well Lynn. I really liked it but in my opinion you should take all that reverb off the vocal and bring it all up front. It's a brilliantly inventive track and hats off for posting as I'm thinking of posting some more experimental stuff soon. Must say that I Rain Rain is a real grower and on my playlist  :)

Thanks so much, John. I look forward to hearing you're experimental work. Very cool.

What's a grower?

A Fab track, agree with John, vocal should be more upfront...

Cheers Kevin. Thanks for listening and commenting.

Interesting wasn't sure about first but grew on me - sounded very Japanese to me , maybe on a film , just caught that oriental feeling for me .

Good ears, Katie. Yes, this was Japanese inspired, especially Keith's original instrumental piece.

Thanks for all the comments, much appreciated. The translation for the original instrumental was ten people, ten colours. Which seems apt.

The mix is how I hear the words with the original instrumental. The narrator is under the water with the fish, her words are slightly wet and are bouncing off the ice.

Thanks again,

Keith



Keith, listening to it last night, Dave said "it really sounds like you're under the water." So kudos to you for upping in the atmosphere.

Lynn

junkman

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« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2018, 02:49:00 PM »
This was awesome, seconding the calls for much less reverb on the vox - at the moment the vocal and music sound like they belong to two different productions. If you're attached to the effect, maybe you could split your vocal onto two tracks. You have a few lines that you repeat - what about having the bulk of the vocal quite dry and upfront, then some of the repetitions could have that heavy reverb on them. It might create a call/response effect too which could be cool.

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2018, 03:33:01 PM »
A grower, a song that you like more and more with each listen. I believe that there are some alternative definitions though  :o

Skub

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« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2018, 09:11:10 PM »
Yo Dave and Lynn.

I love the Oriental feel of the piece and the purpose behind the seemingly directionless musical wandering.

I too would like Lynn's vocals to be more intimate with considerably less reverb.

Interesting and intriguing,as always.  :)

redrhodie

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« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2018, 10:00:39 AM »
This was awesome, seconding the calls for much less reverb on the vox - at the moment the vocal and music sound like they belong to two different productions. If you're attached to the effect, maybe you could split your vocal onto two tracks. You have a few lines that you repeat - what about having the bulk of the vocal quite dry and upfront, then some of the repetitions could have that heavy reverb on them. It might create a call/response effect too which could be cool.

Thanks so much for the feedback, junkman. We are going to give that suggestion a try. I think it sounds like it could be cool.

A grower, a song that you like more and more with each listen. I believe that there are some alternative definitions though  :o

I thought that was probably it,  but better to not assume anything. Thanks again!

Around here grower means farmer (of pot). Haha.

 

Yo Dave and Lynn.

I love the Oriental feel of the piece and the purpose behind the seemingly directionless musical wandering.

I too would like Lynn's vocals to be more intimate with considerably less reverb.

Interesting and intriguing,as always.  :)

Thanks Skub. Glad you liked it.

We'll post the remix if we like it. Hope you'll let us know what you think of it.


Jamie

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« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2018, 02:28:36 PM »
Hi guys, I really like this. one of my favourite bands is King Crimson, and this sounds as if it could be a section of one of their 20min epic songs. Love the authentic instrumental sounds.Agree with others comments about the treatment of the vocals. Good stuff!
Cheers
Jamie