The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
 
Advanced Search
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
January 16, 2018, 08:54:51 PM
Anthony Lane - Look what weve become | New album out now
Exciting TV Opportunity For Songwriters - Click Here For More Details:
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=13541.0
Pages: [1]   Go Down
Topic Tools  
Read January 10, 2018, 11:23:12 AM #0
Jamie

Into the darkness

Hello all, it's been a while! All constructive comments welcome!

Cheers
Jamie

https://soundcloud.com/jamie1802/into-the-darkness

Into the darkness

Feel the jagged edge of love
Cruel and extreme pain without drugs
A bitter taste of loss and revenge
Looking for ways to defend and avenge

Take a step into the darkness
bible black it's oh so starless
Take those hooks from your heart

You're not thinking straight it's pulling you down
Just take your hate and turn it around
You now no good can come out of this
You know the cost can you take the risk

Adorned by roses and a crown of thorns
Crawl in the dirt covered with worms
Take all your words and twist them around
Tangles your thoughts you feel like you'll drown

take a step into the darkness
Bible black it's oh so starless
Take those hooks from your heart

You're not thinking straight it's pulling you down
Just take your hate and turn it around
You know no good can come out of this
You know the cost can you take the risk
 
Read January 10, 2018, 10:19:22 PM #1
pompeyjazz

Re: Into the darkness

Hi Jamie.  Really good to hear from you again.  This is a very atmospheric piece.  You know I always love your chord progressions and melody is always a first with you. I enjoyed the atmos you created.  Excellent when the full blown stuff kicks in. Maybe it could have been earlier?  Welcome back  Smiley
 
Read January 11, 2018, 02:19:09 AM #2
Paulski

Re: Into the darkness

Hi Jamie

So nice to hear your unique style again!
Great atmosphere and melody lines - pitch-perfect vocals.
Love it when the horror theatre comes in near the end.
I think that would have been a great intro - the slow pace at the start dragged a little TBPH.

Good work - nice to hear you back!
Paul 
 
Read January 11, 2018, 06:24:27 AM #3
Tyler Hancock

Re: Into the darkness

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. I will echo what pompeyjazz said: loving how atmospheric this is. Thoroughly enjoyed the entire first 3:30, and just when I thought the energy of the song had already peaked, 3:37 was the sweet release I didn't know I wanted until you delivered it. Great work.

-Tyler

PS: You've gained a new SoundCloud follower!
 
Read January 11, 2018, 02:12:07 PM #4
shadowfax

Re: Into the darkness

A dark moody piece, bit slow to get going though, when it does it lifts a lot...should come in earlier I reckon..

as usual a very interesting chord sequence goin on...

best, Kevin Smiley
 
Read January 11, 2018, 06:41:43 PM #5
exfairy

Re: Into the darkness

Very steampunk-Smiths-esque, I'm into it! I love the lyric "bible black" - it's just one of those lyrics that's feels clever.
I must echo shadowfax in that I feel that it's a little slow to get going but lyrically and musically well suited. Good job! Smiley
 
Read January 11, 2018, 08:42:08 PM #6
Skub

Re: Into the darkness

Yo Jamie.

A melancholic piece and a genre you do so well. Your voice is great on this,I'd find it hard to sing for sure.

I loved the phantom of the opera ending too. Tre dramatic!  Cool

Loved it.  Smiley
 
Read January 12, 2018, 01:01:39 PM #7
redrhodie

Re: Into the darkness

Really beautiful. Dark and moody. Reminds me in mood of Bowie's later work. I'm loving the vocals, the lyrics, and the instrumental ending is lovely. Wow, that went by fast. I was listening as I was writing. Really enjoyed that, Jamie.

Lynn


Life is just a dream.
 
Read January 12, 2018, 04:54:15 PM #8
diademgrove

Re: Into the darkness

Welcome back Jamie,

words and music go well together. It may be an odd thing to say but that listening to your song was an enjoyable way to spend a Friday afternoon.

I enjoyed that Smiley

Keith
 
Read Yesterday at 02:49:37 PM #9
Jamie

Re: Into the darkness

Hi John, thanks for your kind words, and take your point about the arrangement. My thinking was that the words were all about thinking before acting rashly and the idea was that the unleashing of the synths and drums was to underscore the impact of acting rashly. Don't know if that makes any sense! Huh Roll Eyes.Glad you got something from it!

Thanks Paul, its good to be back, just felt a little jaded and lost  interest for a while. Hopefully ill be reinvigorated! Take you point about the arrangement see my comments above......Thanks for comments about unique style thats cool!

Hi Tyler, glad you enjoyed it and i can always handle more followers! i'll take beautiful!

Hi Kevin, see comments above ref arrangement! One day I'll get it right! Huh Roll Eyes.Hope you got something from it!

Cheers guys its appreciated!

Jamie
 
Read Yesterday at 02:56:53 PM #10
Jamie

Re: Into the darkness

Hi exfairy, thanks for listening!Glad you got something from it! Steam punk eh! Cool.....

Hi Skub, good to hear from you! i'm wearing the mask as we speak Shocked ;)Thanks for the vocal comments i'm always so unsure of my vocal capabilities .

Hi Lynn, love the comments about Bowie thank you Grin Pleased you enjoyed it, makes all the hours worthwhile!

Hi Keith, I'm so glad i brightened your friday afternoon, its what I set out to do Wink

Thanks for listening guys it's appreciated!
Cheers
Jamie
 
Read Yesterday at 06:39:15 PM #11
Katie Wilson

Re: Into the darkness

Really like this , your voice is fantastic , song reminds me of someone but I don't know who , maybe Bowie or a heaven 17 type sound . Drifts along brilliantly I imagine the smoke rising as someone sings this on top,of the pops


I need to be myself , I can't be no one else
 
Pages: [1]   Go Up
Jump to:  

A Brand New Copy Shoppe project