konalavadome

I Sat By The Trees

  • 12 Replies
  • 1257 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Viva La Stereo

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 110
  • Occupation: Northern
« on: January 28, 2018, 02:13:23 PM »
Hey guys. This is a song that basically came out of another song I had knocking around and it just grew and grew until it became almost another song entirely. I'm not a wizard on the production side of things but I do try. What do you think?

https://soundcloud.com/vivalastereo/i-sat-by-the-trees

I sat by the trees with their shadows on my knees
I saw a candle burning in the doorway of a sailor
I sat by the trees, and I counted down the ways
I've pushed away the ones who just tried to get close

Judy sits adrift by her window
Says shes had enough of suicide scenes
And I have had enough of village greens
When the shadows move in and security fades
Oh it kills my soul, that's for sure

And here comes Joe with a broken arm
Says hes had enough of cold flats and class
He says he's leaving for some Canadian shore
He tells me he's just waiting for the ice to thaw
Oh it kills my soul, that's for sure

Back where this belongs
That's where I leave my things
Over that hill where the sun is
That's where I leave my mind,
That's where I leave my mind
Kick a suitcase down the stairs
There's nothing for me no more
Over the hill where that sun glows
Far away from these trees
Far away from this pain of mine
Far away from you

RealKevM

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 573
    • Soundcloud Real KevM 2
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2018, 04:20:37 PM »
Love the chord structure and especially the lead guitar towards the end. You have a trusting, decent voice if that makes any sense.

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 5668
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2018, 05:24:30 PM »
Great soundscape here Viva, really drags you in. I've always liked your vocals and how you apply them. There's loads of stuff going on here and it deserves a few listens. Your voice reminds me of Peter Perret In some ways. Excellent stuff

Bankie

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 317
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2018, 10:55:41 PM »
Good structure and the basis of the track is really good and well thought out. I like your voice, but wonder if your ideal range for this song is maybe 3 or 4 semitones up from this ... could be wrong though. I would have liked a hook in there somewhere, but that maybe says more about how I like to do things rather than what the song actually needs.

ScottLevi

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 607
  • Keep on Trucking
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2018, 09:06:08 PM »
Hey Viva,

Nice to see you about, was always a fan and I've heard some promising stuff ony our soundcloud!

First off it sounds like you've really embrased your vocal - which is great. Often felt like you were hiding a little before but I can feel the confidence now (or maybe it's production). And with that great tone and attitude makes for something unique and enjoyable.

The instrumental change and then drop into the final section at around 2:15 is particularly beautiful, as is the whole arrangement.

I was a fan before but feels like you've came a long way on several fronts, really exciting.

Lyrics are great and peircing as always.

Keep 'em coming man!

Cheers,
Scott.

rightly

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
  • newer Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/2rightly
    • My cloud o' sound.
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2018, 09:30:39 PM »
Another good song.
I'm always keen to hear what you upload,
you're a very interesting songwriter.

I wonder what your main influences are.

Keep em coming.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

Skub

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3660
    • Soundcloud
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2018, 09:40:42 PM »
Yo VLS.

Good to see you are still about.

This is as original as anything you'll hear on this forum. Like Rightly,the lyrical content is a rich,deep vein of inspiration.

Your stuff always presses my reset and re-calibrate button.

redrhodie

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 787
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2018, 05:49:14 PM »
Lots of despair here. Beautifully painful, unique and thought provoking. I can't say it reminded me of anything else. That's a good thing. Well, actually, it does remind me of a park in NYC called Tompkins Square. It made me think of that. Very cool.

Bill Saunders

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 548
    • https://soundcloud.com/bill-saunders
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2018, 08:50:41 PM »
Been a while since I listened to one of yours - I remembered the voice...on this song you use it to great effect to draw the listener in. It kept me interested all the way through, as did intriguing lyrics. Wish I could write words like that, conjures so many images without exactly knowing what is going on.

The production is solid, and pretty good to my ears. I suspect it could do with a bit of mastering sparkle, perhaps an small EQ boost in the upper mids.

Great song!

jacksimmons

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 479
    • Jack Simmons Music Facebook Page
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2018, 02:41:00 PM »
Really intriguing song. You sound sort of like a folky Bowie, which I dig majorly. I don't know what the instrument is in the intro, but I really like the effect it has. I agree that I was waiting for a chorus to kick in. But I can see it works with a folk structure too. It sort of reminds me of T Rex. Something like Cosmic Dancer off of Electric Warrior.

At first I thought the guitar solo could have been a little louder, but now I feel like it works how it is. It's sort of blues-y and reserved. Lovely work
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jack-simmons-1/albums
Bandcamp: https://jacksimmonsmusic.bandcamp.com/

"When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony." - Robert Matthew Van Winkle

SlavaB

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 152
  • Born to Rock
    • Official Web Site
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2018, 04:10:15 PM »
Could of been a great song, personally I did not like the vocal - Its actually wouldn't be too bad if the singer wouldn't try to pick scales that he struggles with.

rightly

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
  • newer Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/2rightly
    • My cloud o' sound.
« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2018, 04:27:19 PM »
after commenting on your posts
I'll go and read the comments after mine to see what others think.

You're a very good writer. I'm looking forward to your next post.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

Neil C

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3970
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2018, 06:45:59 PM »
Enjoying the lyrics. It has got an eclectic and individual feel to it. It has a alienated 70's feel it and by the end I was into it.

To be honest I wasn't sure about the 'wah' solo - and apart from apart from a couple of pitchiness I though your vocals tell it well. Did like the ending solo too.
 :)
neil


songwriter of no repute..