[redrhodie]

Excellent. You gotta change crisps to chips, though. We don't have crisps here. Haha. But really fun song.

[cowparsleyman]

Excellent. You gotta change crisps to chips, though. We don't have crisps here. Haha. But really fun song.

By golly you’re right, I’ll definitely changes that, i want to include gas, soda and sidewalk somewhere too

Thanks for the tip

Cpm

[pompeyjazz]

Excellent stuff CPM 

[cowparsleyman]

Here's the current version, taking into account all your comments since the last version.

https://soundcloud.com/cowparsleyman/texas-twister-v2-co-noshussness

Changed the lyrics slightly
A track per vocal line
More BVox
Mixed
Mastered - now 135bpm

It was done in a bit of a hurry, so apologies for things I've not heard.

I would again be grateful for your comments.

Regards

CPM

[cowparsleyman]

Sounds like a fun "teen" song

Had some lyric ideas - loaded with cliche I know!

I was hanging at the mall, trying to kill some time,
Like every Saturday
Then I saw her standing there, shining like a star of illuminosity

She was with her gang but I only saw the girl of all my dreams
Then he took her hand and my world exploded into misery

Shine like a star, seen from afar,
When will I have her close to me
She is so cool, I'm such a fool
She'll never even notice me

https://soundcloud.com/dasntn/nush-star for a melody idea
Apologies for the crap singing - not my key or style, but hey!

Thanks again for the work you did on my song, I really appreciate it, I made me think again of how I wanted it to sound, your ideas were great, and I especially like it that it's not your bag nor key.

A huge thank you again, have you heard the current version...see further up this post...It's not finished yet, but it's got so much more shape to it.

Regards

CPM

[cowparsleyman]

Just an update with this, I'm probably going to put a new beat based section in at the end, building to another chorus and then end, I'll put it up when it's done.

You get ideas when it's heard in the car a few times.

Might not come to anything, but it's clear enough in my mind...

CPM

[cowparsleyman]

Another update...Haven't been posting too much lately

Re recorded it, changed the structure, and collaborating with an American singer to nail the sound I am looking for, 42 tracks so far...needs a lot of care and finesse in the production.

Wish us luck....It's really exciting and very motivational.

cpm

[MjayP]

I’ll be honest, I’m absolutely gutted you don’t need help anymore. I was having great fun putting lyrics
to it. I see a lot of potential in this song. Bubblegum dream teen pop

[MjayP]

Something I think would sound better is: When you sing ‘sister’ and ‘twister’ hold the first syllable a little longer. This sounds great, and will also accentuate  ‘Wow Mr’ since that line will still be delivered rapidly.

Also, hold ‘twister’ when it comes back later, too.

This is just my personal opinion of course. But I think I’ve got a decent ear for catchy pop, especially lyrics.

[Katie Wilson]

I think that it's great , wouldn't be out of place In a west end musical , , lyrics sound ok to me , I think that the melody carries it through brilliantly xxx

[cowparsleyman]

Thanks very much MajP and Katie for your kind words, really nice of you to take the time, I'll give it some thought,  it would be best if you can send me a PM with a sung example of what you think, don't worry about the quality.

cpm

[MjayP]

Thanks very much MajP and Katie for your kind words, really nice of you to take the time, I'll give it some thought,  it would be best if you can send me a PM with a sung example of what you think, don't worry about the quality.

cpm

Yeah, I’ll email you what I mean.

[cowparsleyman]

Thanks, can't wait.

cpm

[Cazrolina]

Loving seeing (hearing) the changes as this developed. Having heard the songs early draft, pre-lyrics, and now with words, its brill stuff. Now your words are there im not picking up the other song mentioned thing, at all. And your chorus melody line high bits sound ace. Good job. cx

[cowparsleyman]

Loving seeing (hearing) the changes as this developed. Having heard the songs early draft, pre-lyrics, and now with words, its brill stuff. Now your words are there im not picking up the other song mentioned thing, at all. And your chorus melody line high bits sound ace. Good job. cx

Thanks very much Caz,

'Texas' is nearly finished, I'll pop it up here when it's ready, needs just a bit of polish, like the 'Stang (I walk past one every day, a lovely bright orange one), the one in my mind in the song, however, is a red one, soft top, a 60's style...with a shed load of party people in it, headscarves, cardigans, preppy stuff, cool shades, just like something out of Nation Lampoons Animal House....

http://masbukti.com/ford/ford-mustang/1964-ford-mustang-convertible

  ..sure has been an interesting journey.


cpm