konalavadome

Rain Rain

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redrhodie

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« on: January 02, 2018, 11:58:06 PM »
Happy New Year Everyone!

I wrote this a while ago but have kept it on the back burner. I'd like some feedback on it, especially if you think it reminds you too much of some other song.

It's about trying to love someone who's miserable all the time. I hope you can't relate, but I bet you can.

Thanks so much for anything you say. I really appreciate it,

Lynn

Listen to Rain Rain by faraway my lovely #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-468459034/rain-rain

Rain Rain

Hey, I was wanting to say I love you
But I'll save it for a sunny day
I was wanting to say I want you
But the clouds got in my way
Remember the day we first met
How the rain it started coming down
There haven't been any blue skies
Since you've been around

Rain rain go away
Rain rain go away
Come again someday

So, the rain is finally stopping
After 40 days and 40 nights
Now that the clouds are parting
I think I finally see the light
I wanted to say I love you
But now I'll save it for a rainy day
And without a cloud in the sky
Maybe you should go sway

Rain rain go away
Rain rain go away
Come again someday

Katie Wilson

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« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2018, 12:32:02 AM »
Hi thanks for sharing , I know someone very much like this - sounded like something from the 60s to me which isn't a criticsim , I think it would make a good album track , but then what do I know

PaulyX

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« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2018, 02:42:30 AM »
You know what, I think you could sing just about anything and I'd like it because of the tone of your voice.  You've just got a 'hipster cool' kind of delivery that works every time with me.
On this one, you bring an interesting C&W feel to it.  I guess it's pretty conventional for you, but I liked the simplicity of it, and it's a real strength of your catalogue that you can go right 'out there', and come back to convention too... a great balance.  Standouts in this one for me were the jangly guitar and the way you pause before the choruses and then they arrive with a minor chord, not what I was expecting but it worked very well.
It's all too beautiful.

shadowfax

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« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2018, 07:43:07 AM »
Reckon this would be a top tenner in the sixties! :) :)
lovely commercial sound you got goin on :)
as paulyx says...very cool 8) 8) 8)
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from the nightmare!

adamfarr

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« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2018, 02:00:59 PM »
Yes, there are some people to whom you want to say "you can decide to be miserable all your life or not, it's up to you". Unfortunately I used to be attracted to all of them...
Nowadays I'm attracted to breezy jangly clever songs like this. I like the way you don't actually say what's going on but we get that "give you some space" idea. The cheerfulness of the track works really well as if to say that you won't let their moods affect your take on life.
Nice job indeed.

montydog

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« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2018, 02:40:11 PM »
Yes, as others have said it has a great 60's vibe and I also like that jangly guitar and your voice is perfect for the arrangement. I'm a sucker for this sort of thing so this was a slam dunk for me. A very lovely thing indeed. It didn't remind me of anything else, BTW.

M

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra

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« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2018, 03:03:34 PM »
Instant appeal to this one....lovely voice and general feel good vibe. Backing vocals are great too.

That verse melody just carries you along nicely and the change into the 'rain rain' part is great.

Interesting how you hold this off for a few bars after the verse rather than go straight into it...it's such a nice move into that 'rain' part though that it would've been good either way.

Good 'pop' length too.....why can't I ever get below 4 minutes?!?
Take it easy.

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pompeyjazz

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« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2018, 05:18:09 PM »
I absolutely love the jangly guitars and vocals on this one Lynn. It's very strong on melody and has a strong sixties feel yet also an indie feel as well. It's a perfectly honed lovely little pop song. Love it  :)

ScottLevi

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« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2018, 08:51:56 PM »
Hey Lynn,

I'm really enjoying the lyrics, they read very well and carry such rhythm. Also a fan of the two-section contrasting structure, something about it is just very satisfying.

I often fall dawn a rabbit-hole on similar style of lyric in trying to match individual lines, ('Hey, I was wanting to say I love you, But I'll save it for a sunny day' ->' So, the only sound is hateful, but the rain has gone away',  sort of thing) which leads for incomplete, nonsensical songs.

Here however you've managed to find a really nice way to include clever contrast whilst progressing the story well and maintaining some mystery and insight throughout the song, such as the biblical references not being predictable from the first verse, but still relating and adding new possibilities of interpretation throughout.

So you've me on side before listening, and what can't be loved about that performance? Everything is to love - I'm not sure I can imagine a style doing these more justice with the bouncy guitar, pleasant melodies and friendly harmonies cuddling your ears. Really supports the lyric portraying a loving narrator.

I'll stop rambing sorry, all that and nothing constructive!

Keep 'em coming!
Scott.

jamesh

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« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2018, 10:01:46 PM »
Hi

So what stands out for me is the interesting backing vocals right from the intro. I really love the swooping down on "rain rain"

I cant think of anything to compare this song to, its a lovely song that lilts along with a nice vocal delivery.

Now this could be controversial, but I thought it could benefit from being played in a higher key. Its just a feeling I had and I might be on my own on that one!

Thanks for posting

James



PaulAds

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« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2018, 10:33:33 PM »
Yeah...count me in on loving this one too

Fab vocals and tip top jangly guitar...was this one you and Keith too?

It sounds lovely and I like it very much.

ps

I've always appeared to be a right miserable bastard...the deadpan delivery of gallows humour is definitely something that has served me particularly badly over the years. Reminds me of the guy who "pretended" to by a psycho to get a lesser sentence but wound up in Broadmoor because it turned out he really WAS a psycho. It is - I think - one of the (several) reasons that I was always so unpopular with the opposite sex in my younger days. As it happens, I'm no more popular now...it just doesn't matter any more. I'm rambling again...sorry
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

rightly

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« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2018, 10:22:25 AM »
I read through the lyrics before listening
and I saw some lines, or images that reminded me of Prince, some of his softer stuff.
I was intrigued. I wasn't disappointed but I couldn't hear the prince influence when listening.

Nice, the song is quite light and breezy.
Earlier someone commented it might be a good album track, I understood what he meant and I agree.

Thanks for sharing.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

diademgrove

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« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2018, 10:58:38 AM »
Hi Lynn,

what puts me off the song, as you know, is its similarity to another song. I'm pleased you've got some really good feedback and no-one else has mentioned it, so it may just be me.

I think the mix could be better though. I'd have preferred some fairly heavy drums with punch in the bass drum to drive the song. It may be me be all I can hear is the highs or a tambourine?

The bass is very good I'd leave it as is.

The backing vocals after the first verse and before the chorus should be louder and the guitar quieter. The vocals are the hook and not the guitar.

The chorus should get a bit of a bosst so it stands out more.

A short guitar solo by Slash would be the cherry on the icing on the cake. You can't always get what you want though, which is exactly what the lyrics say to me.

Keith

 

redrhodie

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« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2018, 11:49:02 AM »
Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all the kind words. You've been way too generous. I'll give individual comments later, but in the meantime, I'd wonder if you'd let me know if you hear too much similarly to Knocking on Heaven's Door by Bob Dylan?

Thanks again,
Lynn

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2018, 12:36:29 PM »
This is a very lovely lilting song Lynn :) In a way, it's hard to believe it's about a miserable person, because the song itself, makes me feel really light and happy :) I love the ooo's...they're the highlight for me and of course your beautiful vocals. The jangly guitar really adds to the 60's vibe, which I love :-*
I do not hear much of a similarly to Knocking on Heaven's Door, although the first 3 chords, once you mentioned it, sound similar, but the song itself has a totally different vibe 8) Great song writing  :)