[rightly]

Once it ocurred to me, although I had a lot of people around me
who'd consider me a friend I couldn't take it so lightly.

These people were just too flippant with their idea of friendship.
The situation usually amused me but in a rare moment when I felt lonely
I contemplated the amount of effort they'd have invest before I could see them
as they seemed to see me.

For distraction I wrote this song and later I started to enjoy it more.

Feedback welcome.

_____________________________________


     Nobody Wants To Work That Hard 


it'll take a while before it gets into my blood
  I'll bide my time until it's written in stone
 run with the devil like y'know that y'should
   and I'll find a way out o' here on my own

  describe one's colors to the willingly blind
   reluctantly shines my one n' only star
so many lovers with whom to invest my time
  and nobody ever wants to work that hard

      nobody ever really wants to work
         nobody ever really wants to work
      nobody ever wants to work that hard
    You want to shut down before making a start
          nobody ever wants to work that hard

    after crying salty tears I blow my nose
 I've been kicking up the leaves in Paisley Park
they arrested me with their dos and their don'ts
  this time, "looking for relief long after dark"

          nobody ever really wants to work
         nobody ever really wants to work
      nobody ever wants to work that hard
         there's a carpet of leaves out in the yard
          nobody ever wants to work that hard

          nobody ever wants to work that hard

_________________________________________________

[Jannanut]

It's a very good song. I like its music I hope it is a good song.

[diademgrove]

Hi Rightly,

great chorus, not sure about the verses though. The first verse seems too vague, it doesn't really grab me. However if you start with the chorus the first verse then makes a lot more sense.

I'd be tempted to change the "shines" in the second verse to "hides". I'm weird like that but it seems to go better with the chorus.

The last verse made me smile, brilliant.

Feel free to ignore me if you disagree,

Keith

[rightly]

Hi Rightly,

great chorus, not sure about the verses though. The first verse seems too vague, it doesn't really grab me. However if you start with the chorus the first verse then makes a lot more sense.

I'd be tempted to change the "shines" in the second verse to "hides". I'm weird like that but it seems to go better with the chorus.

The last verse made me smile, brilliant.

Feel free to ignore me if you disagree,

Keith

Good point - starting with the chorus. That'd be a massive essential change at this point. Maybe I'll do that.
"shines and hides" intriging, yes, but I wanted to keep things very simple here.

Writing songs, well it's still a learning thing for me.

Thanks for your appraisal Keith.

[rightly]

It's a very good song. I like its music I hope it is a good song.

Jananut,
Stayed tuned, I've got a lovely recording of this. It'll be out there soon.
I mean to do a little mastering on it first. So sometime next week.

[Vintage54]

  Hey up!
    I have to disagree with Keith about the first verse, it's a strong opening salvo, it certainly got my attention. That's what i like about this forum, how people see things in different ways, that's why input is important. But it's not just the opening that's strong, this is strong throughout, some quality lines. I do think his idea about starting with the chorus is interesting though.

                                Like it
                                  Vintage54