konalavadome

What is the best verse you have ever written?

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Hooded Singer

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« on: December 08, 2017, 09:56:37 PM »
?

PopTodd

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« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2017, 01:20:09 AM »
Right now, I think this is probably it:

These things I carry on my shoulders
They fit underneath my shirt
They say it will make me stronger
But they don’t say how much it hurts

montydog

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« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2017, 08:26:41 AM »
A reflection on the transience of existence and how we should live in the moment:

A dragonfly has days to live his life
As he flashes by on his cobalt cathedral flight
Do you  think he dreams of future scenes
In the riverside sunshine
Or does he live just for the light.

M

Darren1664

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« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2017, 09:27:47 AM »
Hard to say which is best but an opening of mine I'm quite fond of is

Wake up wake up, feel the sunshine
Falling through the silver skyline
Feel it's warmth upon my face
Takes me away from this place

Hooded Singer

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« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2017, 02:14:44 PM »
Either:
First time I saw you
In half a decade
First thing we do
Drink fresh lemonade
Out on the porch where old memories don't fade

or:
You showed me that even when times are hard
Even when I am mad
Even when the lemons life gave are bad
You can make fresh lemonade

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2017, 06:49:30 PM »
It's too difficult to single out a verse that I consider to be the best. The following is a little cryptic but tells a story of a time when I was a young boy. My Dad and I had set fishing traps in the evening and returned early the following morning to collect our catch. As the tide began to recede, I could see a fish breaking the surface of the water. Many years later when I was a grown man, I began to reflect on this "winter morning on the beach" and how the Gods had brought us both together to bond as father and son before years of alcohol abuse ruined any chance of a healthy father and son relationship.  I love the song because it is about forgiveness and coming to terms with the loss of my Dad.

"My father walked along the water's edge.
A splash of silver; incomplete.
The Gods had brought us to this hunting ground
to briefly bond before defeat"

Paul
« Last Edit: December 09, 2017, 06:53:15 PM by Wicked Deeds »

PaulAds

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« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2017, 07:03:33 PM »
I think I’m going to go for the first verse of “Sometimes Blue, Mostly Black”

I carved our names in quicksand
You've left me up on bricks and
You're up to your old tricks and
what can I do?
I know that by tomorrow
You'll have shaken off your sorrow
and be shaping up to swallow
Someone new

heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

Hooded Singer

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« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2017, 07:50:08 PM »
These all read more like poems than song lyrics :P

The S

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« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2017, 07:59:14 PM »
I think I’m going to go for the first verse of “Sometimes Blue, Mostly Black”

I carved our names in quicksand
You've left me up on bricks and
You're up to your old tricks and
what can I do?
I know that by tomorrow
You'll have shaken off your sorrow
and be shaping up to swallow
Someone new



I second that. You know I'm very soft for that particular song of yours Paul. It's a masterpiece!  :)

//Peter

GTB

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« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2017, 08:41:00 AM »
Strictly it’s a refrain from a song called 1966:

Jimi goes to London, looking for a band
Hey jimi! Where you going with that Guitar in your hand?

🙂
GTB

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2017, 10:11:46 AM »
I've been looking through the mind
Of a thousand year old child
And I don't know what to find
Heard a bizarre conversation
About a bottom augmentation
Think I'm losing my mind

igg

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« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2017, 07:03:02 PM »
Either this one:


The stars spin in circles ,our seasons fly by           
Eyes filled with wonder,.. we gaze at the sky           
Love's the beginning and love is the end
Moving through our lives again and again
Moving through our lives again and again


Or..


Yeah,   I get it
Every song's a piece of art
An illuminated portrait ...of your broken heart
I've seen the fine details you paint   
I just can't listen
To any more complaint


These almost feel like random choices....


PopTodd

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« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2018, 12:42:53 AM »
Just remembered another one that I liked. An old one from a song that doesn't deserve a lyric as good as I think this one is:

To fan the flames, you threw the fan in the fire
It burned very hot, but soon turned to ash

Martinswede

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« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2018, 06:49:57 PM »
(Taking a listen to that PaulAds song right now.)

This one is a bit special for me. Wrote it this summer. My most wordy song so far. Also my first gospel.

It doesn't take much imagination to know what your to say
Strength can be a weakness if it makes you strong today 
I'm left with just two seasons your either coming or going away
And there are no words for the loss when one no longer can stay

Martin