[crystalsuzy]

Hi guys,
This is my one and only, kinda blues song It's certainly not your ordinary blues track  
A friend of mine, who is an excellent photographer, was looking for an original bluesy type song,
to use as a backing track in a video of pictures he took of homeless people living on the streets of Victoria BC    He heard this song and wanted to use it 
Thanks for listening and watching the video  

https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/are-you-still-there

So much starvation…over population…blinding pollution
and denying eyes. Prophecies of doom; knocking at our door
Of death and devastation…and a whole lot more
Making the same, the same mistakes.
Making the same, the same mistakes.

Children watching; no one helping; people sleeping;
On the streets! Drugs and suicide; escaping their pain!
Where’s our conscience? Does it hide in shame?
Is innocence gone, is it gone for good?
Is innocence gone, is it gone for good?

Oh Lord, can’t you hear our prayers?
They gotta be, going up there somewhere
Are you still there? Are you still there?

Abandoned morals…power and greed…deafened ears…
Money speaks!  Terror rising…people dying
Where’s compassion? Hear them crying!
Is it too late; is this our fate? Is it too late; is this our fate?


Oh Lord, can’t you hear our prayers?
They gotta be going up there somewhere
Are you still there? Are you still there?
Hope you’re not leaving us alone
Hope you’re not leaving us all alone

[JoeAntaine]

Lyrical rhythms really seem to struggle to fit with the music. I don't totally get the whole package, feels disjointed. I am not hating on you, you do have some lovely songs. Love the message your trying to get across, I just don't feel it hits the mark.

[crystalsuzy]

Well that's kind of disappointing, for a first review on this song Joe, but I totally respect your view
Did you watch the video or just listen to the song? This song wasn't written specifically about the homeless, it was more about the human condition in genreal, but I did change a few of original lyrics, so that it fit with the homeless theme Maybe that's why it feels disjointed Thanks for listening  

[JoeAntaine]

I just listened. Sorry if I hurt you. I understand the goal here but I think the message would come across much better with you using a style and approach you're more comfortable with. I heard some of your other work and I don't feel this meets your standards.

[PaulAds]

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed everything I’ve heard you do...including this one...songwriters like us aren’t mainstream and probably don’t expect to be heading that way anytime soon. I’d hate to see you discouraged in any way from producing the great stuff you do...

I’m sure Joe means well...it possibly came over worse than intended.

The message behind this is lovely...and if it was ever packaged for top 40 consumption, it would almost certainly be ruined...so I think existing outside the matrix is the only way for this kind of song. That’s a strength to me, rather than a weakness.

Paul x

[crystalsuzy]

I just listened. Sorry if I hurt you. I understand the goal here but I think the message would come across much better with you using a style and approach you're more comfortable with. I heard some of your other work and I don't feel this meets your standards.

No worries Joe This is one of the first songs that I ever wrote and I only resurrected it because my
friend wanted to use it in his video  Personally, I like the way it turned out and I'm glad I did bring
it back to life for this video, but I certainly don't expect everyone to like it 

[Paulski]

Hi CS

Well we've come to expect the unexpected from you and this is no exception to the unexpected we expect  I liked it - it's unique and unpredictable. I love the piano parts and the flute?
Maybe wait a bit before bringing in the harmonies, but there I go trying to impose the expected on you 

Good work on the video too - sad and yet the people seem to have so much humanity and strength of character. The music is well matched to the visuals.

Nicely done
Paul

[JoeAntaine]

Please don't be discouraged. There's alot of very talented people out there I can't rap my head around, doesn't mean they lack merit. It's just  my opinion. If this is you branching out than I admire the bravery.

[PaulyX]

I liked this quite a lot.
I was put off when you wrote 'blues song' as normally I'm really bored by the standard 12-bar formula.  Here though the choices of instrument (that flute), the unusual vocal melody, and the harmonies were enough to keep it fresh to my ears.
My 2 suggestions would be...
- The guitar sounded rather thin and tinny to me... could you fatten it up with effects / reverb somehow?
- In a few places your voice sounds 'lispy' (like you're saying 'drugth and thuiside' rather than 'drugs and suicide'... particular around that section).  Are you using a de-esser?  Wind it back in a bit if you are.
Lyrically you're tackling a heavy topic; the lyrics are quite 'straight' but then again I don't think you can be too nuanced or playful about such a subject matter.  Overall I think I like your less conventional songs a bit more since they really turn my head around lyrically and musically, but I still felt you've stretched the blues in an interesting direction with this and if your friend was looking for something original yet blues-based for his project, then I think you've hit the nail square on the head with this.

[Wicked Deeds]

Crystalsuzy, this song, embraces your trademark quirky approach - I enjoy your work because it is so different. I've listened to your vocals getting better and better down the years and think that your singing is wonderfully unique. Your choice of intervals in the melody is unexpected and therefore is becoming a trademark of your work.  Another highlight, is the choice of instrument. The flute sounds great. The mix needs a little attention and the guitar should be tightened up a little but overall, the ingredients are all here and I as always enjoyed another song of yours.

Paul

[pompeyjazz]

Excellent lyrics Suzie. The flute ? gives the song a real haunting feel as does the bar room piano interludes. The song kinda shuffles around nicely, dragging the listener in. I though there were some touches of Patti Smith. I thought it was excellent 

[lillypilly]

Pompeyjazz read my thoughts a Patti Smith vibe going on here.
Also for me PaulAds nailed it in his interpretation, to be honest though I felt I would not have listened to it all the way through if it had not been for the video behind it I felt it carried the song along.
cheers
Lilly

[crystalsuzy]

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed everything I’ve heard you do...including this one...songwriters like us aren’t mainstream and probably don’t expect to be heading that way anytime soon. I’d hate to see you discouraged in any way from producing the great stuff you do...

I’m sure Joe means well...it possibly came over worse than intended.

The message behind this is lovely...and if it was ever packaged for top 40 consumption, it would almost certainly be ruined...so I think existing outside the matrix is the only way for this kind of song. That’s a strength to me, rather than a weakness.

Paul x

Thanks so much for your encouraging words Paul, you are very kind
I totally agree, and I'm proud to say, that I am definitely not mainstream, although the thought of making money with a song, is somewhat appealing.
I would have long given up writing songs, if I got discouraged because some people didn't like them I know that Joe meant well, and I agree with him, to some degree. This is not one of my stronger songs, especially on it's own, but with the video, I thought it worked OK
I love existing outside the matrix

[redrhodie]

I loved it. Great vocals. Felt like the 60's. I watched the video, too. Very moving.

[mickyplankton]

Hi Crystal Suzy.

Great effort. I like the song, and the lyrics and you've tackled head on a subject that is always sadly needing addressing. Tended to agree it's Paulyx s review. I think the vocals are a bit over powered. They totally dominate the delivery and the other instruments feel thin in comparison. I would consider tweaking the mix as its not quite hitting its potential for me.