[jacksimmons]

Recently got together with my old writing partner & band and we decided we wanted a disco-esque song, so I've written this and put a demo together. No chorus yet. Just wondering what people think of a) the song so far and b) the production. I've changed my setup a bit and tried to address a common issue I have regarding my production being bass light. All feedback appreciated!

https://soundcloud.com/jack-simmons-1/disco-demo

Lyrics:

Lights go down
You show me there is beauty in a frown
Tell me something new about your day
Just to pass the time in an offhand way

Tell me how
A smile can turn a doomed day upside down
Even in the morning when I'm feeling worst
You are not a demon, you are not a curse

Later when you get home from work
I know it might sound a bit absurd
Put some time aside, aside to check in on me

[S.T.C]

The production is fine...sounds clean. The song so far does have a disco vibe , got that 70's feel top of the pops  need to hear the chorus now!

[Martinswede]

I like both the melody and the style of the lyrics. Kind of reminded me of The Ark. Listened on laptop so no bass sensations.

[Cazrolina]

Hiya Jack,
I love it when i see you've been posting as your songs are so cool and interesting. Heres yet another smashing melody, and you somehow make it seem so effortless. Amazing clear/pure vocals. Sooo good.
Bassline is great. You could add a bit more slinky-ness in the odd place, or get a bit more meat on its bones, so to speak, with an effect or a 2nd bass instrument, but it's working really well. Cant wait to hear the finished track. cx

[jacksimmons]

Thanks for the comments everyone! I need to work on making my midi bass sound more like actual bass - thanks for the advice on the slinky-ness, will definitely help. I've written and recorded the chorus of this now, so here it is. Still only a demo and only half finished, but the second half will be rinse & repeat anyway probably, just with different lyrics. Let me know what you think!

https://soundcloud.com/jack-simmons-1/disco-demo

Chorus Lyrics:

Everything's a phase apart from you
I've found a way to make it through these lonely days and nights
You set these dark days of mine ablaze
When you walked in to my life from out of your own cold
Your own cold, and now you're mine to hold

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Infectious Jack and yes....discoesque rather than disco...a bit too complicated prog and melody wise for that...a bit more ELO-like...there I'm citing them again!