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Need inspiration and help getting through writers block

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kieronfairhurst

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« on: November 24, 2017, 02:04:59 AM »
Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to read

So I want to write a song for my boyfriend, been together for 2 months and I really wanna put down in words what he means to me but at the same time it's unexplainable the love we have, it's like nothing other and It's also complicated at times.

A little backstory, We started talking online and just hit it off right away staying up late talking to each other. cheeks hurting from smiling and laughing. Had a lot in common. We met and a week after talking we started going out/dating/boyfriends. We even started using the L word pretty early and knew it was a little too early for that but we knew how we felt, it was love that early but we couldn't explain it. It was unexplainable. Now 2 months later it's a little shaky so I'm hoping it wasn't just lust because I truly love him and I want it to last. He has money and I don't want him to think i just want that because all I want is him and everything else is just an unrequired bonus, he keeps things bottled up that I wish he'd talk to me about and I wish I opened up to him more but that's not really who I am to open up too much but I'm trying to. I want us to last a very long time and I need to put down in words all of that and what he means to me.

Now onto the lyrics or should I really say the notes I have so far cause its nothing at the moment.

Notes of what id maybe include somewhere:

I need to let you know
all I want is you
Electric

Actual possible verses

My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
its something I can't deny, the feeling I feel inside
when I look into your eyes. (This one for sure, maybe a little tweaking..)

All I ever wanted was love and then you came along and swept me off my feet
being with you makes me feel complete (ehh its too rhymey.. feet and complete its too ABC but that general idea..)

I cant tell you how much I love you because it's unexplainable
I know it can be hard sometimes but you just gotta keep pushing through
because all I want is you (not sure about this one, little cheesy?)

---

So that's what I have so far, I'm looking for some inspiration, possibly a semi co-writer who's good with lyrics who I can talk to and they just put what I say into words that ain't some cheesy Taylor swift stuff, I want a truly heartfelt song and I'm not good at piecing things together like this.

Any help will be appreciated but mostly like I said I need someone I can talk to who can put my words into lyrics.

Thank you!
K.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2017, 02:07:35 AM by kieronfairhurst »

Yodasdad

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« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2017, 03:10:22 AM »
Hi,

I'm not the best lyricist but I would go with the first 'actual possible verse' but leave out 'I feel' just, the feeling inside when I look in your eyes.

One because you're basically saying the same thing twice and two because it flows better musically.

This verse would then serve as the structural blueprint for the following verses.

I'm actually sat in front of my piano while i'm reading your post so I've put this verse to music. Let me know if you want to hear my interpretation of it.

Yodasdad

Yodasdad

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« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2017, 03:27:22 AM »
Okay, thinking lyrically, here's what I would go with for the first two verses:

My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
its something I can't deny,
this feeling inside when I look in your eyes.

All I ever wanted was true love, then you came along and swept me off my feet
being with you fulfils all of my needs

Yodasdad

kieronfairhurst

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« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2017, 03:46:47 AM »
Okay, thinking lyrically, here's what I would go with for the first two verses:

My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
its something I can't deny,
this feeling inside when I look in your eyes.

All I ever wanted was true love, then you came along and swept me off my feet
being with you fulfils all of my needs

Yodasdad

Yes, i like this. This is exactly what i had in mind.

I co-wrote some lyrics with someone before quite a while ago putting my words into lyrics and i recall her saying things like explain why they make you feel the way they do. To give a song more story and heart

He makes me feel the way i do because of how caring he is. How thoughtful he is of everyone around him including me. Hes the sort of person who i wanna be. I strive to be that way to always put others first but he does that so effortlesly and asks for nothing back and all i want from him is for him to know the true way i feel that he inspires me to be a better person and for me to learn to have patience with him and to open up more to him and let my walls down.

Also yes it would be great to hear some sort of meloy. I have a small idea of how it would sound. Almost slow but up beat.

I wanna title the song  "unexplainable love"

Its like youre one in a million. I cant really explain our true unexplainable.. love (long emphasis note on the love)

I'm gonna get some sleep now will reply once i get up. Thanks for all your help so far :)
K.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2017, 03:49:48 AM by kieronfairhurst »

Yodasdad

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« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2017, 10:54:35 AM »
Got a busy day but I'll try to get it recorded tonight.

Yodasdad

kieronfairhurst

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« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2017, 02:08:45 PM »
Looking forward to hearing it :)

K.

kieronfairhurst

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« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2017, 03:01:27 PM »
Hey Yodasdad,

Okay so I did a little more thinking today in the shower cause a lot of the good stuff comes to me there especially when I have some melody in my head.

So with your help and my friend's also this is it so far..

My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
its something I can't deny,
this feeling inside when I look in your eyes.

All I ever wanted was true love, then you came along and swept me off my feet
being with you fulfils all of my needs

I love you more than skies are blue, because some days skies get a little
bit grey but I'll never stop loving you (possible third verse, I don't wanna over use the word "love" though)

Notes to include these lines:

I need to let you know
I never wanna lose you, please dont ever walk out that door
I know it can be hard sometimes but i'll keep loving you forever more
(friend came up with this one out of my notes)

I will not give you up, got to have a bit of faith in this thing called love

Thanks again,
K.

Yodasdad

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« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2017, 03:27:18 PM »
I think I would go with that 3rd verse as a possible pre-chorus, and change it to something like:

I love you more than skies are blue
But even when they're grey, I'll never stop loving you.

You could change the last loving to wanting...

The next verse needs to progress the story. I'll leave you to play with that just make sure you're saying something different, not the same thing in a different way.

Yodasdad

Yodasdad

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« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2017, 03:29:47 PM »
Oh, and the lines in your notes section would probably work into a good middle 8, so see if you can come up with a new verse of totally new material.

Yodasdad

kieronfairhurst

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« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2017, 03:57:37 PM »
I think I would go with that 3rd verse as a possible pre-chorus, and change it to something like:

I love you more than skies are blue
But even when they're grey, I'll never stop loving you.

You could change the last loving to wanting...

The next verse needs to progress the story. I'll leave you to play with that just make sure you're saying something different, not the same thing in a different way.

Yodasdad

How do you mean progress the story? So far I'm not 100% sure of what I have. Its not really been pieced together into a story yet like most songs are. So far all its saying is a bit about how he makes me feel. my hands shaking, hearts racing looking at him.

I don't it to be a soppy song just repeating how I love him over and over.

I want it to be like this

A slow song with a slight up beat.

I really want to write about how even before we met he made me feel so special and was constantly happy and cheeks hurt from smiling too much and how when I look at him my heart races and hands shake and he makes me feel complete and how that's fading a bit now like the relationship is fading almost feels like its coming to a end and I want to pick it back up and by putting down in words what he means to me

I think the chorus would be a hard one to write too.

So with that information knowing the story fully, is what I have so far good material that would fit that story? and what should I focus on next?

Thanks,
K.

Yodasdad

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« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2017, 05:06:19 PM »
There's definitely potential in the lyrics, I wouldn't be spending any time on them if I didn't think that.

You've basically said it yourself, don't write the next verse about how you're feeling again, saying the same thing.  Maybe something like how you think he feels, the relationship, how things have changed, what you want, what you're scared of, what you can give him etc etc.

Yodasdad

kieronfairhurst

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« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2017, 05:46:41 PM »
There's definitely potential in the lyrics, I wouldn't be spending any time on them if I didn't think that.

You've basically said it yourself, don't write the next verse about how you're feeling again, saying the same thing.  Maybe something like how you think he feels, the relationship, how things have changed, what you want, what you're scared of, what you can give him etc etc.

Yodasdad

Alright thanks, i'll have a think :)

K.

Yodasdad

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« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2017, 07:27:29 PM »
Hi Kieron,

I have a link ready for you to listen to my ideas so far.

I've adjusted the lyrics slightly to fit and also created a chorus based on your lyrics I was thinking of using for a pre-chorus and your ideas. The 'fulfill' lyric is a bit of a sticking point as it doesn't really flow very well so will need re-looking at

All I would ask is that if you decide to adopt any of my musical ideas, you agree to credit me as an equal co-writer. If you don't like what I've come up with and don't intend to use it in any way, then you can just keep my lyric ideas so far and look to someone else for help.

Does that sound fair?

Yodasdad

kieronfairhurst

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« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2017, 10:48:47 PM »
Hi Kieron,

I have a link ready for you to listen to my ideas so far.

I've adjusted the lyrics slightly to fit and also created a chorus based on your lyrics I was thinking of using for a pre-chorus and your ideas. The 'fulfill' lyric is a bit of a sticking point as it doesn't really flow very well so will need re-looking at

All I would ask is that if you decide to adopt any of my musical ideas, you agree to credit me as an equal co-writer. If you don't like what I've come up with and don't intend to use it in any way, then you can just keep my lyric ideas so far and look to someone else for help.

Does that sound fair?

Yodasdad

Yeah of course i'll give you full co-writer credit. Its just a personal song. It be cool to properly produce it into a song can listen to melody and volcals. Who knows but yeah i'll credit you in it :)

Send me the link let me have a listen. I appricate all the help so far :)

Thanks,
K.

kieronfairhurst

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« Reply #14 on: November 24, 2017, 10:56:26 PM »
Looking forward to hearing what you come up with, the lyric changes and chorus :)

K.