[kieronfairhurst]

Hi,

Got dragged out for Sunday lunch. I'll ok at your message, keep going on the song and come back to you shortly.

With regards the title, it's up to you but my advice would be not to call it True Love.

Titles are a very important aspect of a song and 'True Love' is a very over used and quite cliche pairing when it comes to songs and I think lowers the expectations of what the song will be.

I think a really good and intriguing title would be simply 'Our Unexplainable'

Yodasdad

Okay shall go for that then, whatever fits best really or flows naturally with how the lyrics end up with everything we already have and the bits I gave to you yesterday, put that all together and come up with something great out of it and whatever flows naturally for a title out of that is what will go with.

Off to his later but I can check your replys on my phone just everything else is on the pc but I think you got everything that's on here lyric wise etc

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with

K.

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

My Son's fault it's took a while this time, hijacked the computer to do his homework!

Here's the song, theres some interference on it but don't worry about that, I can get rid of it no problem.

Still just a rough version with basic piano playing but you should get the jist. There's still a few minor tweaks to melody/lyrics I'll probably make plus anything you suggest of course, and I might extend the outro a little more and add an intro of course.

I'll pm you tomorrow in response to yours.

Let me know your thoughts.

https://soundcloud.com/my-idiom/unexplainable-love-v14b-bounce-2017

Yodasdad

[kieronfairhurst]

I like it but did you include some of the stuff i wrote the other day and the stuff he wrote to include.

Did i reply to your pm? I thought i did 

I briefly listened to it quietly but need the lyrics written down in the verse chrous format to see if theres any tweaks i wanna make of my own. After that it just needs polishing up and then it should be good

Thanks again,
K.

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

The first two verses are almost the same as what you sent. From the 3rd verse onwards, I don't think I used anything word for word but all of what you both wrote inspired the current lyrics.

I tried to incapsulate what you were both saying in a way that worked for the song. I've had to condense what you sent, judge what fits the rhyme scheme without feeling forced, what works in terms of pronunciation and phrasing, how the lyrics build a convincing narrative and work this into a coherent and recurring melody.

There wasn't anything wrong with the lines you sent but most of it didn't work when taking all of the above into account.

If there are lines you specifically want in there, let me know and I'll try to work them in. Be aware that it may require a rewrite of the melody throughout though. If you don't like that then it's obviously not a problem but if you do it may require a bit more work.

I'll pull the current lyrics off the computer tomorrow and send them.

Yodasdad

[kieronfairhurst]

Okay thats all fine. Ill still take a look at the lyrics and maybe tweak or rewrite something. One bit that stood out to me was the line with "crystal balls" didnt really like that line but the rest of it sounded okay but still wanna check it all as one peice and see whats what with it

K.

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

Yes, I agree about the Crystal Balls, that's one of the things I was going to change.

Here are the lyrics for the moment:

V1
My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
its something I can't deny,
this feeling inside when I look in your eyes.
 
V2
All I ever wanted was true love,
then you came along and swept me off my feet
being with you, is so easy to do     

C
I love you more than skies are blue
But even if they turn grey, I'll still be loving you.
it’s unexplainable, should be unobtainable
our True unexplainable love

V3
When I wake each morning you bring me comfort
Late at night, you’re whats on my mind
No words can describe what I’m feeling inside

V4
Im scared I’ll lose you, I don’t know what I’d do
If you weren’t there, the missing part of me
Like a drug I need more, can’t go back to before

Mid 8
I know there’s know way of telling what the future holds
We don't have crystal balls
but If we stop talking Ill go crazy coz I’ll
lose the one I adore

Final C
I love you just because you’re you
and even on our bad days I’ll still be loving you
it’s unexplainable, should be unobtainable
our True unexplainable love
It's our True unexplainable love - repeat

Yodasdad

[Yodasdad]

I'm thinking of changing to one of these???

I know there’s know way of telling what the future holds
We don't have crystal balls
If we'll get through it all
         If we'll make it at all
                 If we'll rise or we'll fall
                        If we'll crumble and fall
but If we stop talking Ill go crazy coz I’ll
lose the one I adore

Yodasdad

[kieronfairhurst]

I'm thinking of changing to one of these???

I know there’s know way of telling what the future holds
We don't have crystal balls
If we'll get through it all
         If we'll make it at all
                 If we'll rise or we'll fall
                        If we'll crumble and fall
but If we stop talking Ill go crazy coz I’ll
lose the one I adore

Yodasdad

Good morning,

Which one do you think fits best out of those you sent. I quite like "if we'll crumble and fall" but what do you think?

Posting it in the feedback section to see what others think to it or have any suggestions for it to polish it up I'll give you credit in the post.

K.

[Yodasdad]

I'm leaning towards if we'll make it atall.

I prefer crumble and fall as a stand alone but

Scrap that, it's just come to me

'We could crumble and fall' is the one we want.

Yodasdad

[kieronfairhurst]

Hey,

I posted it in the feedback on works in progress sub forum. Gave you credit in the post.
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=14166.0

I was thinking a little myself about the intro of the song because reading it though it feels just like the relationship. Feels like skipped a few bits like a proper intro.

The first lines are obviously..

V1
My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
its something I can't deny,
this feeling inside when I look in your eyes.

I feel there should be a intro before it. Something like this?

Intro
Before we met I almost gave up on love
god only knows where id be without you,
you gave me hope, you showed me how to love again
now I'm gonna put down in words what you mean to me

K.

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

I will be putting an intro on it but an intro doesn't have lyrics.

If you want to use those lyrics you'll need to add another section to the song or replace one. With the slightly extended outro I'm probably going to put on, adding a section would make the song well over 4 minutes and too long in my opinion.

I think the first verse is fine as it starts now. It may feel that it's missing something from your perspective of the relationship but from a listeners perspective it works fine.

Yodasdad

[kieronfairhurst]

Hey,

Will just leave it as it is then. I posted it on feedback on work in progress sub but no replies to it yet. If you wanna change up that crystal balls lyrics to the new one you came up with and wait a day or two see if anyone replies to that post see what others think then it can be fully polished and recorded with the intro and outro then it should be finished.

Is the intro like a instrumental before the vocals start?

Thanks again,
K.

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

Yeah, the intro's just that.

I'll put it on hold for a couple of days then.

Yodasdad

[kieronfairhurst]

Hey,

Just sat here singing a part of the song..

Mid 8
I know there’s know way of telling what the future holds
we could crumble and fall
but If we stop talking Ill go crazy coz I’ll
lose the one I adore

I'm really feeling this

I know there’s know way of telling what the future holds
we could crumble and fall but I'll be with you through it all
but If we stop talking Ill go crazy coz I’ll
lose the one I adore but i'll keep loving you forever more

Maybe the "I'll keep loving you forever more" is too much? But I do think "but i'll be loving you forever more" works well in there?

What do you think?

K.

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

It wouldn't work exactly as you've written it but this would work.

but If we stop talking Ill go crazy, I’ll
Love you forever more

??

Yodasdad