[Mutrins]

Hey guys! Been a while since I've posted on the forum, but I've been working on a new track and would love to get some feedback. I wrote this with a female singer in mind. It's about being in love with someone who only loves you back (or shows it) when they're intoxicated.

https://soundcloud.com/micky-shiloah/tunnel-vision-demo

Thanks all!

Lyrics:

I switch sides of the bed in the morning 'cause I miss you
We had fun last night but the sun comes up every time it starts getting good
I dressed nice 'cause I knew that I was gonna see you
I smelled better than I usually do just in case we got close and touched for a second or two

And ooh you've got a lot to say tonight
It looks like you've had one too many
Ooh it's my favorite time of night
When you've had one too many

Come and give it to me
All your attention and your tunnel vision
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
Give it, give it to me i'll spend my money on your contradictions
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
And I don't care if it only lasts one night I want it
Ooh I want it

(even if it's just tonight I want it, yea I want it)

Now you're getting pretty close and I really wanna kiss you
It's been fun tonight but the sun's coming up so we better start getting good
So come on pick it up, hurry up, do you need another one?
Drink it up, hurry up, I think I need another cup
I'll take it
Yea I'll take it

And ooh you've got a lot to say tonight
Looks like you've had one too many
Ooh it's my favorite time of night
When we've had one too many

Come and give it to me
All your attention and your tunnel vision
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
Gimme, gimme a love you only see inside your television
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
And I don't care if it only lasts one night I want it
Ooh I want it

I want love
I wanna feel you loving me
Loving me, oh
(I wanna feel your love, I wanna feel your love)
Repeat

And I don't care if it only lasts one night I want it
(I really want it)

Come and give it to me
All your attention and your tunnel vision
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
Give it, give it to me i'll spend my money on your contradictions
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
Come and give it to me
All your attention and your tunnel vision
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
Gimme, gimme a love you only see inside your television
(give it to me right now, give it to me right now)
And I don't care if it only lasts one night I want it
Ooh I want it

[Yodasdad]

Poptastic!

I think I may have made one of these comparisons before but I swear that if Mika and Savage garden hooked up and did the nasty, their kid would grow up to make songs like you.

Anything you're not tellin us?

Great melodies, energy and production.

Only thing I wasn't keen on was the snare but it did grow on me as the other parts were introduced.

Yodasdad

[Paulski]

What a great hookiest of hooky songs!
Super vox, harmonies, effects - your production skills always amaze me.
Could use a 30 sec trim but maybe that doesn't matter with all those hooks 

Nice work!
Paul

[kevysc]

Nice lyrical idea and love the chorus .. would agree with  the comment to tone down the snare in the verse.

Kevin

[Mutrins]

Poptastic!

I think I may have made one of these comparisons before but I swear that if Mika and Savage garden hooked up and did the nasty, their kid would grow up to make songs like you.

Anything you're not tellin us?

Great melodies, energy and production.

Only thing I wasn't keen on was the snare but it did grow on me as the other parts were introduced.

Yodasdad

Thank you!! Yes that is quite the compliment and I WISH that I was their love child!! LOL

Glad you liked it

[Mutrins]

What a great hookiest of hooky songs!
Super vox, harmonies, effects - your production skills always amaze me.
Could use a 30 sec trim but maybe that doesn't matter with all those hooks 

Nice work!
Paul

I appreciate it!! Was thinking about giving it a little trim as well.

Thanks so much!!

[Mutrins]

Nice lyrical idea and love the chorus .. would agree with  the comment to tone down the snare in the verse.

Kevin

Thank you! and thanks for the advice!

[PaulyX]

Yo Mickey, welcome back.  Good to hear a new tune of yours.  As ever from you, very modern & catchy with cleverly layered vocals.  On first listen I wasn't sure about the double-speed vocals in the chorus but once I got my head around it, it felt like a smart way to increase the energy in those choruses.  Enjoyed the middle 8 too where you gradually become a 10 (?) piece choir!  And the brief moments where you drop back to just percussion, they worked well too.  It's not the kind of thing I'd normally have on repeat at home but it felt very current and I'm sure a Millennial and younger audience would dig it big time.  Your tracks always feel so cleverly planned to me... I admire the architecture, if you know what I'm saying!

[Mutrins]

Yo Mickey, welcome back.  Good to hear a new tune of yours.  As ever from you, very modern & catchy with cleverly layered vocals.  On first listen I wasn't sure about the double-speed vocals in the chorus but once I got my head around it, it felt like a smart way to increase the energy in those choruses.  Enjoyed the middle 8 too where you gradually become a 10 (?) piece choir!  And the brief moments where you drop back to just percussion, they worked well too.  It's not the kind of thing I'd normally have on repeat at home but it felt very current and I'm sure a Millennial and younger audience would dig it big time.  Your tracks always feel so cleverly planned to me... I admire the architecture, if you know what I'm saying!

Pauly, thank you so much for your words. I understand this type of music isn't everyone's cup of tea and it's more catered to the younger generation, but I appreciate the time you took to listen to it and really give an in depth critique. I am so glad that you enjoyed this one!

[Silver Machine]

Dude, it's one of them songs you really dont want to like, 'cos your too old for the target audience, but the damn thing's been engineered so you cannot refuse it access to your auditory cortex.
What a dilemma.
I didnt pick up any of the lyric, I just got a big sugar rush of melody and rhythm overloading my synapses.
Congratulations man, it's poptastic.

[Mutrins]

Dude, it's one of them songs you really dont want to like, 'cos your too old for the target audience, but the damn thing's been engineered so you cannot refuse it access to your auditory cortex.
What a dilemma.
I didnt pick up any of the lyric, I just got a big sugar rush of melody and rhythm overloading my synapses.
Congratulations man, it's poptastic.

LOL. this post is so funny. I am so happy to be able to infuse your brain with some sugary, pop goodness.

Thanks for listening!!