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Read November 21, 2017, 12:44:30 AM #0
tomcrocus

If i ate fifty rats.

Hi,i've been away for a while,just doing a bit of this and that and that and this,
noodling on the guitar but i'm still crap,i've still been writing because i love it and
i want to try and get back into the forum,anyway,this is a little something i wrote.

                      IF I ATE FIFTY RATS

If i ate fifty rats,baked them in a pie
if i ate fifty rabid rats
would i die yeah would i die
i'm gonna eat fifty rats,bake them in a pie
i'm gonna eat fifty rabid rats
cos i couldn't care yeah if i die

fifty frickin rabid rats, kill your cats,kill your cats
fifty frickin rabid rats,kill your cats yeah kill your cats

i'm gonna eat a cobra i'm gonna eat a snake
stick me in a basket man i don't need a break
i'm gonna eat a werewolf i'm gonna eat my head
i'm gonna eat a zombie i'm gonna eat the living dead
kill your cats yeah kill your cats
fifty frickin rabid rats
i'm gonna eat a liar cos he told me a lie
i'm gonna eat a spider to try and catch a fly
i might just eat your grandma after i've ate my head
i've ate the farmers' daughter and you call her daddy fred

fifty frickin rabid rats,kill your cats,kill your cats
fifty frickin rabid rats,kill your cats yeah kill your cats

if i ate fifty rats,baked them in a pie
if i ate fifty rabid rats
would i die yeah would i die
i'm gonna eat fifty rats,bake them in a pie
i'm gonna eat fifty rabid rats
cos i couldn't care yeah if i die.
 
 
Read November 21, 2017, 06:40:19 AM #1
2tuoo

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Now, this is the kind of writing I like!


Eating tats is not that bad, especially if they are baked in a pie Smiley. Remember the rat burger Stalonne ate in a film, it was good Smiley

Anyway - great song and superfluid structure. I imagine this song fits practically any style and will be glad to hear the end result!


Have a great day!
 
Read November 21, 2017, 09:50:18 AM #2
Rightly

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

This makes me want to ask what you had for dessert.
N makes me wonder if there are any subliminal political messages in there. Lol.

This was a refreshing read. Thanks for sharing.

Rightly.
 
Read November 21, 2017, 09:03:54 PM #3
Paulski

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Welcome back Tom!
We've missed your rhythmic tomes.
That's some BIG pie unless they're pretty small rats!
As usual your lyrics sing themselves.

Good work!
Paul
 
Read November 23, 2017, 05:11:13 PM #4
tomcrocus

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Thanks Ztuoo,thanks Rightly and thanks Paulski,
i was very drunk when i wrote this and very drunk when i posted it,
i couldn't remember in the morning,it's okay i'm no alcho,i just like a wee
gargle from time to time.
Cheers fellas for the feedback,
                                              Tom.
 
Read November 29, 2017, 01:35:40 AM #5
Vintage54

Re: If i ate fifty rats.


  Hey!
    Even if you hadn't put a name to this, i would still recognize the madness. Welcome back my friend, been away too long. Crazy as ever, but it produced a smile, and anything that does that, i welcome.

                         Vintage54
 
Read December 15, 2017, 08:06:59 PM #6
Laptop Philharmonic

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Well that sure is different!

Is there a metaphor going on here, or have you actually eaten your own head now?


Search "Laptop Philharmonic" on Spotify, iTunes etc. or visit:
laptopphilharmonic.bandcamp.com
 
Read December 15, 2017, 10:40:42 PM #7
tomcrocus

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Thanks Vintage,it's great to hear from you again,
i hope you're good and well and thanks Philharmonic
for that feedback,it made me smile,cheers,
                                                                Tom.
 
Read December 17, 2017, 09:27:08 AM #8
PaulAds

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Sorry I missed this one, Tom

Yeah...trademark Tom Crocus!

Made my stomach go round like a spin dryer.

Brilliant to hear from you again...keep the pen and paper handy  Smiley


heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter
 
Read December 21, 2017, 06:12:47 PM #9
tomcrocus

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Thanks Paul,great to hear from you and keep up the good work,
i'm just weaning my way back onto the forum,i've still checked
it out and it's cool,even one or two spits and spats which iv'e found
funny as f***.  I was a member of a certain poetry forum when i joined
social media about 3 years ago and i got into a right old dingdong with
the members,it's so easy to type something then press enter,the intelectualls
didn't like it one little bit,nevermind,all's fair in love and war,
                                                                                        have a good un,Tom.
 
Read December 26, 2017, 08:55:44 AM #10
diademgrove

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

Welcome back Tom. This is brilliant, made my day. I don't care if you were drunk or not. Have you got any music to this? I hope so.

Keith
 
Read January 11, 2018, 10:52:40 PM #11
wkamen

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

This song wouldn't sell a single copy, unlikely anybody would even produce it
 
Read January 12, 2018, 11:30:01 AM #12
cowparsleyman

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

I rather like the idea, it kinda takes me into the grunge, death metal genre, might not suit a crooner with a big band...


I wouldn't be so sure about this not selling, if shuddupa your face can get to no 1...

Hope you have plenty of Gavison, and a large oven.

CPM

 
Read Yesterday at 12:04:52 PM #13
junkman

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

This song wouldn't sell a single copy, unlikely anybody would even produce it

I would. Polish up a few lines. Give it an unhinged Birthday Party vibe.
 
Read Yesterday at 04:52:49 PM #14
tomcrocus

Re: If i ate fifty rats.

This one disappeared but thanks wkamen it's reared
it's head again.
Thanks guys for the feedback now let's kiss goodbye to the rats,
                                                                                              cheers,Tom.
 
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