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When all Painters Draws You the Same

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EmmanuelT

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« on: November 16, 2017, 04:40:03 PM »
Hello! :)

I'm a singer-songwriter making folk/alternative music. I'm in dire need of other peoples honest opinions about some stuff I've been working on. This song is called ''When All Painters Draws You the Same'' and I would love to hear yall's thoughts on it in regards to the lyrics, performance wise or other impressions in general. Thanks! :)

https://soundcloud.com/user-867507911/when-all-painters-draws-you-the-same

I can’t see
That’s an awful portrait
I’m not that small?

''When all painters draws you the same
That is you, that is you
When all painters draws you the same
That is you, that is you”

That might be
I’m quite crooked
But I know if you saw all my cards
You’d paint me straight

When all painters draw you the same
That is you, that is you
When all painters draw you the same
That is you, that is you

I see that portrait every night, when I lay awake he stares at me with cold, cold eyes
I took my knife and carved them out,
Put his eyes on mine
« Last Edit: November 16, 2017, 05:59:01 PM by EmmanuelT »

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2017, 10:55:28 PM »
Hi Em. I'm liking this big time for quite a few reasons.  Firstly the first chord changes are an absolute killer, secondly you have an amazingly emotional voice and I'll throw another one in to say that I love the atmos that you're creating. Welcome to the forum btw  :)

EmmanuelT

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« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2017, 11:07:25 PM »
Thanks man! Means a lot! :D
Looking forward to hearing more music from you in the future pompeyjazz! :)

Martinswede

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« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2017, 09:06:18 AM »
Hi EmmanuelT!

Your song have some strong qualities. You sing well and the music is very expressive.
When it comes to the lyrics I'd wish for more development. More story.

Martin

adamfarr

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« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2017, 10:56:28 AM »
Very interesting indeed - lots to think about, perception and reality.
We just had a "dark song" competition and I think this could easily have been part of that...

Quick grammar check - unless you were going for a particular dialectical expression, shouldn't it be "when all painters draw you" as in the last chorus?

Anyhow, really expressive song and performance - very good stuff.

EmmanuelT

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« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2017, 09:32:11 PM »
@Martinswede, Thanks I will keep that in mind for future projects! :)

@adamfarr Thank you! Sadly I missed the boat with the dark song contest :( And you are correct about the grammar, a mistake from my part. Thank you for bringing that to my attention! :)

PaulyX

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« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2017, 10:03:45 PM »
Welcome.
This is very good - lodged in my brain after 1 listen.
The lyrics are the standout.  I like the way you ignore convention and rhymes, and just talk about such an interesting topic in pretty natural language.  I also love the way it makes me imagine who the narrator might be... who is this person who has multiple painters queueing up to do their portrait?  It makes me think of some fading celebrity, world weary, overly concerned with their image, getting older.  It's great the way the choice of words (and what you leave out) made me think of that without actually mentioning it.  Of course, someone else could imagine it totally differently, and that's another good thing about a song like this.
Musically, some interesting stuff too, especially that zither-like way you play the guitar very fast after the choruses.  You've gone for a Cohen-esque deliberate lack of melody in the vocals I felt, which kinda works, although I'd be inclined to raise the register just a bit in the choruses as they are a bit monotone at present - a tad more melody would work without being cheesy.
I'd be proud of this one.
It's all too beautiful.

EmmanuelT

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« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2017, 10:42:27 PM »
@PaulyX Thank you! Very kind of you to take the time to read and think about the lyrics as well! I've always been drawn to ambiguous and open-ended Kafka-esque writing, so I'm glad that it came across in some way! :)
You make a fair point about the melody in the vocals, I'll take it and improve in the future. Thank you for listening! :)
/Em

2tuoo

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« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2017, 01:27:31 PM »
At first, I was going to comment on the signing vs the tone, then on the rhythm then I've got the whole song experience.

Dude, that song is a painting! It delivers. Just delivers!
It really made me listen and respond to the changes and combinations as the song progresses. That's super cool!
Have a great day!