[Mutrins]

Hey all,

Working on another track,"I Thought That Would Be Me". It's a more ballad-y type, end of love, you can't help someone they can only help themselves sort of song.

I appreciate any feedback! Thanks so much

Lyrics:
I don't wanna leave this
I feel like i've fallen too deep now
Too deep now

But I keep giving chances
Only to end up the fool again somehow
Again somehow

And I know it's had believe me I've been there
But once in a while, you've gotta let go
And give everything you have to someone you know

Chorus:
And I thought that would be me
I thought that would be me
I thought that you'd be mine
If I gave you a little time
I thought that would be me
I thought we were on the same damn road
But you're headed somewhere on your own
God, I was wrong all along

And I've been done so many times
I can't remember
I can't remember when it felt right
If it even ever felt right

But you were never mine, never mine
Never mind, I was out of my mind
Hoping I could help you find all the answers in this short while
All the answers in this short while

And I know it's hard, believe me i've been there
But you've gotta give everything to someone you know

Chorus:
And I thought that would be me
I thought that would be me
I thought that you'd be mine
If I gave you a little time
I thought that would be me
I thought we were on the same damn road
But you're headed somewhere on your own
God, I was wrong all along

And I know it's hard believe me I've been there
But you've gotta give everything to someone you know

Chorus:
And I thought that would be me
I thought that would be me
I thought that you'd be mine
If I gave you a little time
I thought that would be me
But, I know that you're not mine
I know that you're not mine
I know that you're not mine

[Silver Machine]

Hey man, you got a good lookin' voice; if I was a teenage girl I'd want a poster of your tonsils on my wall.
This is lush sugar pop, bursting with teen hormones.
There's a bit of a strings overload though, and they sounded kinda weirdly electronic aswell, which I didn't dig so much. But yknow, its teen heartthrob music and are you ready to get mobbed by young girls?
You make me wanna cry, man.

[Mutrins]

Hey man, you got a good lookin' voice; if I was a teenage girl I'd want a poster of your tonsils on my wall.
This is lush sugar pop, bursting with teen hormones.
There's a bit of a strings overload though, and they sounded kinda weirdly electronic aswell, which I didn't dig so much. But yknow, its teen heartthrob music and are you ready to get mobbed by young girls?
You make me wanna cry, man.

Haha.  Oh I’m ready!!
I appreciate all of your words. I hope you cried because that’s amazing lol.

String overload I know. I might change some of the instrumentation.

Glad you liked it! all of the teen hormones in a song lol

[Yodasdad]

Unusually stripped back for you but still with 'your sound'

Loved the harmonies and vocal layering.

The strings sometimes sounded very natural and at others quite synthesised. Not sure about the string section at the end, feels a bit like an unnecessary afterthought, I think it maybe needs to transition to it a little differently.

Personally I would have like a little more variation and movement in the piano, but I know the simplistic static style seems to be the in thing these days.

Great melodies and overall a nice song.

Yodasdad

[shadowfax]

Welcome to the 80's ballad club my friend
very good song!!
'bout a minute too long though, and as yodasdad said..string bit is not needed and they do sound a bit ..well, sort of cheap
a song this good deserves lush strings IMVHO
was expecting some drums or perc to come in somewhere...

fine work mate

[PaulAds]

Great vocals and lovely stripped-down production.

You're one of the guys here who has such a great voice, it makes me green with envy 

This is a great vehicle for that voice...harmonies on the chorus lift it up another notch. I guess I kind of expected pounding drums to come thundering in at some point...but I thought was quite a good choice not to be so obvious...either way would have worked, I'm sure.

A job very well done. You could - of course - trim it down a little. I perhaps would, personally.

Fluff on the needle...those were the days 

[2tuoo]

This song rocks! You've got a great voice!

I felt that this song is going to a more intense chorus by the end of the song, something in the style (structurally) on All By Myself - at the end of it when the whole thing explodes. I think this would sound fantastic with your voice!

[kevysc]

Great voice! Nice ballad, though the piano could do with a little more ornamentation? Still, lovely song.

[Mutrins]

Unusually stripped back for you but still with 'your sound'

Loved the harmonies and vocal layering.

The strings sometimes sounded very natural and at others quite synthesised. Not sure about the string section at the end, feels a bit like an unnecessary afterthought, I think it maybe needs to transition to it a little differently.

Personally I would have like a little more variation and movement in the piano, but I know the simplistic static style seems to be the in thing these days.

Great melodies and overall a nice song.

Yodasdad

Thank you for your thorough review and critiques!

Glad you liked it. still working on it

[Mutrins]

Welcome to the 80's ballad club my friend
very good song!!
'bout a minute too long though, and as yodasdad said..string bit is not needed and they do sound a bit ..well, sort of cheap
a song this good deserves lush strings IMVHO
was expecting some drums or perc to come in somewhere...

fine work mate

haha thank you. String part at the end was sort of for a music video i had in mind. But I also wanted the strings to sound very simple and old school and rough.

Thanks again!!

[Mutrins]

Great vocals and lovely stripped-down production.

You're one of the guys here who has such a great voice, it makes me green with envy 

This is a great vehicle for that voice...harmonies on the chorus lift it up another notch. I guess I kind of expected pounding drums to come thundering in at some point...but I thought was quite a good choice not to be so obvious...either way would have worked, I'm sure.

A job very well done. You could - of course - trim it down a little. I perhaps would, personally.

Fluff on the needle...those were the days 

Thanks so much! Drums might be coming soon...

And perhaps a trim. I do love fluff on the needle

[Mutrins]

This song rocks! You've got a great voice!

I felt that this song is going to a more intense chorus by the end of the song, something in the style (structurally) on All By Myself - at the end of it when the whole thing explodes. I think this would sound fantastic with your voice!

I might just do that!

Thank you so much

[Mutrins]

Great voice! Nice ballad, though the piano could do with a little more ornamentation? Still, lovely song.

Thank you so much!!