[Neil C]

Hi,
Well this one's a true story. I was talking to my lovely, if somewhat scatty Australian cousin. She's a Shanti healer and goes in deep.

She talked about her relationship with mother who couldn't cope with some difficult stuff and effectively asked her young daughter to be the parent. She's still dealing with it nearly 50 years later. A difficult situation, the imagery that came to mind was powerful and I was drawn to write.

I've gone for a fairly stripped back sound to try to make it intimate and powerful.
Interested to hear if I've succeeded and if its dark enough.
 
neil

https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/soap-master-30-aug-2017

Soap

You said won’t you take a look – why me?
At the suitcase lying there upon the bed – why me?
The guilty and the innocent, are not meant to be
Confused and all mixed up – why me?

You give me all your troubles – why me?
My shoulders just aren’t broad enough – why me?
The guilty and the innocent, are not meant to be
Confused and all mixed up – why me?

Why me, I’m just a child
And why can’t you cope?
If you want to get rid of the stains
Better scrub them hard with soap

Let’s make a new start overseas
Instead of just ignoring it you’ve got to deal with the disease

I don't want to open it  – why me?
Why can't you deal with it – don't ask me
The guilty and the innocent, are not meant to be
Confused and all mixed up – why me?

Why me, I’m just a child
And why can’t you cope?
If you want to get rid of the stains
Better scrub them hard with soap

N Connor c 2017

[Wicked Deeds]

Hello Neil,

Great soundscape.  Reverb used to great effect in the intro and some suitably dark chords to set us up for the main track.  Fine Tom sounds too - they add so much power.  Perhaps introduce an electric a little earlier on to help with build.  When the rhythm arrives, it sits nicely i the mix but provides some great movement T the same time.  Vocals are sounding very good and that guitar sound is class!  Yep,it's a dark song my friend - now get your finger out and mix our collaboration ;-) great stuff buddy!

Paul

[Paulski]

Hi Neil

Great song, this IMHO.
Nicely structured and a great lyric.
As Paul says, reverb is sumptuous and I love that snare sound!
Think it could be called "Why Me?" as that's a nice hooky phrase too.

It's a solid entry for the comp - will do well I predict 
Paul

[ScottLevi]

Hey Neil,

Ah songs from real experiences are always good, and especially with this competition it surely helps convey the message!

I second too the effective reverb over the start - and I really enjoy the melody most prominent through the first section.

Then the lower sounds which come in on the second really help to solidify the darkness initially persuaded with the riff.

The middle-8 works really well and the variation in percussion was very effective.

I think your remit was hit - definitely intimate, builds up in power throughout and definitely captured that 'dark' feel.

Super enjoyable, cheers for sharing.

All the best,
Scott.

[CaliaMoko]

I don't have much to add to what's already been said. I think this works perfectly for a dark theme, especially as it is taken from a real situation. That makes me feel the darkness more intimately.

[pompeyjazz]

That's an interesting story Neil for sure. Like the stripped down style it works really well. Bass is lovely and crunchy and the toms are great and give it a foreboding feel which fits the dark theme very well. You're vocals are sounding top notch BTW 

[PaulyX]

Really impressed with how this grows very naturally from the stripped back start to being fulled fleshed out by the end. That seemed to work well with the lyrics... as we got to learn more of the story the intensity of the music started to swell. Vocals sounding great although you still sound like a nice bloke in them ... maybe there's scope for sounding a bit more angry and shouty when it comes to the 'why me's. Lovely solo of course, found myself anticipating that knowing it was one of yours.

[adamfarr]

Great stompy live club sound. Great reverbs and dark chords really support that. I like the way the guitars are quite distant, leaving the drums to do a lot of the supporting of the song.

Great song concept - and the lyrics work really well. I wasn't sure about the title but I actaully think it adds to the intrigue. Very cool.

[diademgrove]

Hi Neil,

I think you have the makings of a great song. However a few things didn't work for me. The "why me" tag at the end of the first two lines was a bit repetitive. Leaving them out would make the "why me" at the end of the fourth line stronger. By the time you get to the chorus you've asked why me 6 times by which time the why me in the chorus is like an old friend when it should have been set up as a jolt to the listener.

I thought the chorus and the outro guitar solo sounded too "nice", they don't sound like you were being put upon and full of resentment. When listening to the last line of the chorus I heard "scrub them with hard soap". To me it adds a little bit more darkness to the song.

Sorry for being so negative but the music during the verses is excellent.

Feel free to ignore me if you disagree.

Good luck in the competition,

Keith

[crystalsuzy]

I love songs that come from real life situations, and I think you've captured those emotions with the intimate vocal and somewhat stripped down production. I think you've done a great job with the lyrics, telling this very intimate story, although I kind of agree that there's too many 'why me s'. I love the soap analogy. BTW, Good vocals Neil Good luck in the comp

[Cazrolina]

Brilliant. gritty ad grimy drums, deep dark dirty driving bass and geetaaars building right to the end. Great stuff. Ooh, and then the guitar solo appeared. Yeah baby.

[Skub]

Yo Neil.

A gritty,emotive subject matter for the song,made all the more relevant since it's factual.

A very doom laden sound joins well with the lyrics adding to the sense of foreboding.

I loved the tip of the hat to the style of John Fogerty in the closing bars,I'm an easy touch when it comes to JFC. 

[montydog]

Hi Neil,

The rhythm guitar part sounds like Crowded House - an antipodean coincidence?

A great concept and well executed. I would have got wilder like you did at the end earlier in the song as I think it goes along a little too long before it gets angry. Otherwise, excellent and a top notch vocal.

M

[PaulAds]

Liking this one very much, Neil.

Love the stripped-back, mournful feel of it, and the lyrics tell a sorry tale very well.

When it lets rip towards the end it really sounds like it all boils over after being bottled up too long...and then I really loved that lead break to the end.

Excellent stuff!

[Neil C]

PaulAds, thanks great feedback

Alan, wasn't thinking crowded house but get it now. Been having vocal coaching and he is saying to let go too soon, draw them in.....

Skub, thanks re guitar I was thinking Limdsay Buckingham rather than JF :-)

Cazolina, "Great stuff. Ooh, and then the guitar solo appeared. Yeah baby" thanks a lot.

CS, hi delighted you liked the emotional delivery and soundscape.

Keith, thanks for commenting and suggestions. I think my cousin does resent things but she's too lovely to get really angry..

Adam, yes I deliberately did this distant mic of the acoustic and went for that reverbed soundscape.

PaulyX, I tried to get the music and lyrics to build and I guess I am a nice bloke, or at least I have a nice soft voice. If I try to get aggressive then the pitch, tone and indeed vocals just go.

PompeyJazz, foreboding :-) and thanks for the comments on the vocals

Caliamoko, delighted it hit the dark mark

Scott, "Super enjoyable, cheers for sharing" great feedback

Paulski, great feedback thanks Paul

Wicked, Vocals are sounding very good and that guitar sound is class! - thanks a lot.