Time machine

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LostBoy

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« on: October 22, 2017, 12:06:57 AM »
Hey everyone,

It's been a while, but this song has just for some reason taken forever to get finished! Sigh...this one is a sculpture for sure, I tried sooo many things before settling on what I initially started with!! :D

Anyway, it's done now, which is great, but I've had it for too long to be objective about it any more.
This is where you guys come in... ;D

Is it any good?? Haha! Simple as that!!

All thoughts good & bad are very welcome. Cheers!

Leo

https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/time-machine

Time machine

Life just lately,
seems to me that my whole worlds gone crazy
I'd give anything to just escape it
Leave my troubles in the dust.

Well I remember
When we were young & mum and dad would fight
Our imagination took us to the sky with
Just some crayons and a box.

We built our rocket you and I
Saved the world so many times
Nothing could touch us we were so high

Chorus.
If I had a time machine I'd go back to '85
I'd grab my telescope sit back and watch us fly
Staring down the sun
Every battle won
Those were the days my friend.

Well years go by &
All the innocence gets left behind
But I will never forget those times
When the world was at our feet

And man those 80's
When every television show was great
Yeah our imagination cleared the plate
We were living the daydream everyday.

We built our tree house by the brook
Found treasure everywhere we looked
Life was good.

Chorus

Oh take me back, far away when we were kids
When summers never ended & life was just pretend.
Oh let's go back to a simpler time than this
When life was just a playground
Our hearts were innocent.

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2017, 03:28:46 AM »
I'm no judge of what's good and what isn't...but I like it! :) I especially like all the clever near rhymes you used. Excellent, in my opinion.

There were some background oooo's that might have been out of tune, although it's likely I don't understand the chord that's in play at the moment, so maybe not.  :-\

Vicki

2tuoo

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« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2017, 09:11:11 AM »
Great stuff!

I liked the switch to falceto - so gentle and right on the spot!
Have a great day!

Neil C

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« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2017, 11:57:23 AM »
Lost boy,
I could listen to your tunes and honeyed vocals all day long. As this is no exception, it has a Gary Barlow feel to it, which is a complement.
The only thing I wasn't certain about was the sampled(?) counter melody that was inserted a various point after the chorus, i.e. 1.15 sec.
Anyway its lovely piece
Majestic
 :) :)
neil
songwriter of no repute..

Darren1664

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« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2017, 01:22:07 PM »
Is it any good? :P It's VERY good.

Really enjoyed listening to this. So easy to listen to. I think lyrics, the vocals and background music are brilliant. I have no nits to pick at all. Great work

Thanks

Darren

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2017, 05:27:38 PM »
This is top notch stuff Leo  :) Your vocals are always absolutely top notch, you've got an amazing vocal range. Lovely melody and atmosphere and nice sentiments in the lyrics. Top drawer stuff  :)

LostBoy

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« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2017, 08:44:24 AM »
Hi Vicki,

Thanks for your feedback. I'm glad u like it.  ;D
Haha! I promise the "ooohs" are in tune, I think it's just that they are maybe not what people would expect right there. ;)
I'm glad you like the lyrics & hey you are an awesome judge of what works for YOU.  ;D

2tuoo Thanks mate! ;D

Neil... thanks so much mate. You are always so nice about my songs, it gives me great confidence moving forward. So cheers man. (Ps, sampled singing???:D come on man! That's all me! Haha!!)

Darren...thanks very much buddy! That's very encouraging. I appreciate your time. :D

Pompey...you sir are too kind!!! Thanks a million:D

Binladeda

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« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2017, 09:36:14 AM »

 Hi Leo,

 Outstanding song mate.  Nice to hear you including your kids ;D ;D

 Beautiful piano, and your voice is always a pleasure to hear.

 I did think there could be a bit more of an intro before you started
 singing, but then it would be a bit long I fear ;D ;D  As it is, 4.20 is
 pushing it......

 Love the lyrics....full of nostalgia.  An amazing piece of work.  This will be
 a priceless memory for your kids in years to come. 

 Absolutely blown away mate.....loved it ;D

Nowt as queer as folk...........my gran

Skub

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« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2017, 11:20:05 AM »
Yo Leo.

One of my favourite things on this forum is to click on a Lostboy song and listen to the great vocals. Man I could listen to you sing the bloody phone book.  :)

The song plays on the old nostalgia thing which is cool,because it neatly sidesteps the maudlin and the cheesy and remains classy.

The only gripe I have is,you don't post anywhere near enough songs Leo,so get it friggin' sorted man.  ;)

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2017, 03:00:36 AM »
...
Haha! I promise the "ooohs" are in tune, I think it's just that they are maybe not what people would expect right there. ;)....
Yeah, the more I listened to them, the more I was pretty sure I was wrong. They were too solid to be pitchy. Like you said, it just wasn't what I expected. ;D

Mikey

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« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2017, 07:47:17 PM »
That is great, I love the nostalgia factor, and the lyrics really capture the mood, and as for the vocal, well its outstanding, well done mate, a real cracker of a tune.

Mikey

moraamarolaloba

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« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2017, 08:01:51 PM »
Hi Lost Boy! Really great work, really. I liked it very much. Perhaps the child voice could sound lower? It is the only thing I can say you that I noticed was not in the ensemble... But, what does mean this in a so good song? See you. Mora
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow

Cawproductions

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« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2017, 09:21:30 PM »
I am a fan of this,

Really nice track and vocal is smooth and very easy to listen to.

Great work Leo...really nice.

I am gunna get a Simba if it makes me sing this good, or its going back in the box.

adamfarr

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« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2017, 09:44:08 AM »
Fabulous writing - the crayons and the clearing the plate are just too good.
The chorus really lifts and is super catchy - just what a chorus should be.
Some lovely touches all through it buillds just right for me.

And you have that voice - totally distracts me from all the rest, just a pleasure to hear. (A very small thing - could it be a bit too compressed? - to me it could do with a touch more airiness somewhere).

Great song. Your machine would need to take me back a bit further than the 80s though!

TheButcher

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« Reply #14 on: October 25, 2017, 10:03:55 AM »
Hey There

I agree it's a very well written piano ballad.
I knew the instruments would kick in :)
Very good. Everything fits together very well and I can't criticise much.
Maybe some delay and reverb could be added here and there to make it a little more creamy.
All good
B