konalavadome

The Ghost

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Jay-morris

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« on: October 16, 2017, 12:51:52 PM »
Hello everyone

Been working on this Song for a few days. Been the hardest song to get right, and I still

 
https://soundcloud.com/morrison-art/the-ghost 


Words

I went inside
To see what I could find
The room was dark
And she left everything behind
I found a note
For anyone who can read
I closed my eyes
It brought me to my knees

I don't know where she'll go
The bridge above
The stream below
The willow tree
The calling sea
I don't know
If I close my eyes
Will it be ok
If I close my mind and drift away
If I close my eyes
Would it be the same

I searched the night
As the rain fell down on me
I called you're name
As I passed the willow tree
I was a ghost
Searching the streets alone
Then the shadows came
And dragged my souls back home.

If there's no God
If there's no soul
What am I doing here
I can't let go
Its the same reply
Every single day
If I close my eyes
Will it be ok
If I close my mind and drift away
If I close my eyes
Would it be the same
« Last Edit: October 17, 2017, 12:53:14 AM by Jay-morris »

Jay-morris

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« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2017, 12:54:44 AM »
I put the wrong version of the song up in the link. I have fixed it now.

Cawproductions

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« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2017, 06:01:06 PM »
Hi Jay,

Nice 6/8 strumming pattern, Like the low sections but feel it need to lift for the chorus.

Great work in progress, The low guitar chords give it a nice sad feel.

Keep it going coz its got legs.

Andy

Darren1664

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« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2017, 06:28:49 PM »
Hi Jay-Morris

Lots of potential here. I really like the guitar progression and the vocals sit nicely over them. The melody in the chorus - the first half I prefer to the second. You sing the two half different and I, personally, think it may help if they were sung the same.

The lyrics are deep and intriguing. Good work  :)

Darren

Jay-morris

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« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2017, 06:53:02 PM »
Thanks for the replies. Yeah i am struggling with this one, and I am not happy with it at the moment.

Good advice guys

Thank you :)

Cazrolina

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« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2017, 12:02:41 AM »
Compelling lyrics, and perfect moody melancholy feel. Its a fab start. You've set the mood with v1, then the cracking chorus to break it up a bit and offer some light. You could maybe try out keeping a similar rhythm of vocal delivery for V2 like as for the chorus???
Tis good stuff so far.  cx
Caz
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