[adamfarr]

Hi All - this one started out as a straight 80s post-punk-pop-rocker with a bit of a live-oriented feel. Thanks to all for the input in the lyrics section. But then I decided that each verse really wanted a different arrangement, plus a panicky, agonic break, which took me down a bit of a different path. And I see that I started tracking this one on 20 August... (how ever am I going to get the next one done in time for the Dark competition?!)

Plot is: man goes to London, man sleeps with someone who is not his wife, man feels very bad. (Not autobiographical, in case anyone wondering.)

All specific and constructive comments appreciated as always! In particular re that changing arrangement and that break...
Cheers
Adam


Dirt of London
https://soundcloud.com/lutehill/dirt-of-london-master-15-10-2017a

V1:
Clammy hands hold a shaken can
Sticky rings on the carriage shelf
The past reflects in the cold scratched glass
Instructions try to tell you how to save yourself

PRE1:
Tacky footprints on vibrating floors
Get off past the language round the sliding doors

CH:
Lingering too long inside the shower gateway
Like water's going to cure the dirt of London
The strains of shame make stains that don't fade
You forgot yourself for something that can never be
forgotten

V2:
Last night's conference forgot the talk
Texts exchanged in expectation
Neon lights shone on polished shoes
Drawn into the elevator of temptation

PRE2:
Messy situations in a pristine room
Helpless against the perfume in the guilty gloom

CH
BREAK

V3:
Homecoming kisses, gifts, and looks away
Trusting son, too young to know desire
The girls still think you're superman
Too innocent to know what failure feels like

PRE3:
Another Oscar for the wife
Pretending she's not looking for the exit sign

CH
FINAL CH

(c) Adam Farr, 2017, all rights reserved

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Adam,

I always love reading your lyrics as they are like short stories and never disappoint.

This reminded me of Billy Bragg in some ways. There is a great melody and some nice little touches - I like the sax (Now is that real  )

Your songs are always unique and unconventional in a very, very good way

Your mix is very good and it's very well produced

Excellent - A Pompeyjazz hit pick 

[Silver Machine]

It's dirty, man! Sounds like that British punk group The Jam. Rough, tough, sleazy and vintage.
I'm hearing it in black and white.
Intro guitar needs to be redone I reckon? Sax is great. Lyrics make me want to have a wash.
I like it all.

[Wicked Deeds]

Hello Adam,

I don't know how long you have been writing.  It is clear to me that you have an abundance of ideas whether you have been writing for many years or a short time.

There's always a fresh feel to your writing.  I think that there is a real danger of becoming too pristine with our craft as we hone our writing skills and we may lose a sense of advenature that we may have had in the early days of our writing journey.  In a nutshell I don't know what to expect next as your songs progress and I think that is a great quality. 

It sounds great when you sing 'The dirt of London' so it's definitely a strong title.  This song has a strong melody and good structure. The lyrics are out of the ordinary.  Many elements to admire. 

Well done

Paul

[Skub]

Yo Adam.

Influences of Squeeze and the Jam in this one,I agree with John on his Billy Bragg comment too.

Digging the anarchic sax solo,it all adds to the live feel.

The excellent lyrics graphically show how  the clock can never be turned back and trust is a one shot for most people. Fine work there,Adam. 

[nooms]

can't ignore this adam
unpredictable lyric and turns not to mention the unvarnished englishness of the vocal..
still think your a lost member of big star or the uks jah wobble on helium..
no offence meant its just the wonderful englishness of your vocal

plus the stranglers come to mind for some unaccountable reason !

good stuff mate

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Yes it's a memorable chorus and as WD said the 'Dirt of London' sticks out (as it should being the title!) I don't know why it does this.....I suppose it's just a good image...and place names seem to have this power...why it's never a bad thing to use a state of the US in your song title.

Your productions have come on famously and I'm glad I've been along for the ride as you've progressed....instructive!

Everyone says The Jam so I'll have to go along with that.....put me in mind of something but I don't know what....just the era I suppose.

I like the intro guitar but listening on phones...all I've got!...wonder if it should be hard panned like that. Makes the first thing I noticed the panning and not the actual part you were playing.

Vocal still very AdamFarr and sounding good here...sitting better maybe? I do have something that I can't not say though which also jumps at me and I am unable to ignore...the last line of the chorus...if you sang the 'you' of the last line straight after the 'fade' of the line before...almost in the breath between lines...the 'forgot' wouldn't have to be sung as one syllable...maybe you don't care about that and maybe this is how you want it...you clearly spend a lot of time on the work so perhaps you've already thought of, and dismissed, this possibility!

Love the break...don't know how you've made it but it sounds good....a bit unconventional but it sounds great...sits in there lovely.

Chorus repeat at the end is just the right way to go here...works a treat!

Enjoyed it thoroughly Adam. Nice grimy, clammy, sticky, tacky lyric too!

[shadowfax]

Sounds like something the Jam would do, (as others have already mentioned) like the lyrics 'cept some areas where the syllables don't fit sound a bit forced,
you've improved quite dramatically, distinct and original style is interesting to hear my friend..

[mickyplankton]

Hi Adam. I concur with most of the comments above. Im also hearing a lot of Jam, and perhaps a trace of REM. I've listened to it 5 times now, as there's something that's been nagging me about the flow of it. There are 3 small sections of the song that don't work for me.

Pre 1: sliding doors
Ch: never be forgotten
Pre 2: guilty gloom

In each of the above you take twice as long to get the words out as you should In my opinion, and the song just lags at these points for me. It feels like you have slowed the song to fit the lyrics in. It might be intentional, but for me it's not pleasant just feels like a forced elongation of the section and disrupts the flow of the rest of the song. Everything else is amazing, especially the sax and the melodies in the chorus.

Cheers Micky

[redrhodie]

Hi Adam,

I listened to it twice, didn't comment because it made me uncomfortable, but I've been thinking about it ever since. I noticed some of the things that have already been mentioned about making the words fit, but I think that works. It adds tension. Not an easy song, but really well written.

[adamfarr]

Thanks everyone for the really good and constructive comments.

Pompeyjazz: yup, verse 1 (disgust in train): Billy Bragg feel, verse 2 (sleazy hotel): enter the sax, verse 3 (raw homelife consequences): That's Entertainment feel (ish). Thanks so much for your support.

Silvermachine: you have no idea how many times that guitar was re-done! Possibly more testosterone needed. Thanks for the great comments.

Wicked Deeds: I do try to do things my way and trust that something good will come out. As they say, everyone grows out of their Morrisey stage, except Morrisey (and perhaps me!). Many thanks.

Skub: thanks for your great comments, that sax was a labour of both composition and processing.

Nooms: I don't think I've ever heard a Jah Wobble vocal but I expect it would be exactly as you say! I confess to having a few listens to the sax in Get a Grip on Yourself for inspiration so maybe a bit of Stranglers (and the Stooges Fun House) rubbed off. Thanks as always.

Viscount: thanks so much for your trademark detailed review and lots to ponder. Interesting re the guitar - it actually starts panned 30% and then when the band comes in wanders out of the way to 80%. For the vocals I have changed the reverbs I use and EQd them quite a lot. I used to really like slapback on my vocals but now not so much, which may explain the change. And the first vocal I did had exactly what you mention "FadeYou" but it's quite hard to get the timing right so I went with the more (Paul Wellah-like?) staccato "youfergot" but still had doubts. I might go back. Or dispense with the you altogether...

Shadowfax: yeah, I hear you, I am normally a perfectionist with syllables but the "messy" section is messy and the "youfergot" is not ideal either. Sometimes there's a tradeoff between having a song with some compromises and not having a song at all. But if it ruins it then maybe I just need to do the work. Need a co-writer sometimes to pick them up (or the co-writer in my head!). Thanks for the improvement comments and accompanying me through it all.

Mickeyplankton: can't you hear a massive festival crowd singing along to those bits?! (Yeah, and pigs flying too!). My view was that they made the song much more individual and different, but thanks for adding a different perspective and taking the time to listen in detail...

Redrhodie: thanks for listening and good to know that you did.

Thanks everyone. If I am getting better then this forum is a major part if not the major part of that. Love being here!

[PaulyX]

Hey Adam, I'd been looking forward to this one ever since you posted it in the lyrics forum.
It's a solid, gritty, very British track that makes you think... the ending is pretty heartbreaking. I like all the influences going on here, definitely that post-punk new-wave feel which is right up my alley. Really well crafted, no cliches and enough slightly weird patches to keep it fresh and give it its own character. Not much to suggest other than write some more like this - it suits ya, bro.

[Cawproductions]

Hi Adam,

Reading the write up made me chuckle, we all been working away and know this guy, Hes a tool, got a loving family but cant keep it in his trousers,

I like the disclaimer.....pahahah.

The song lyrics are great and are spot on, i instantly knew what he was going through and what he'd done.

Great lyrics,
I agree with Mickey a bit about the musical flow and felt the track was a bit too happy and jolly for the lyrics.

Only IMHO though, not dissing here at all.

Great song, nice work that man.






Not knocking here,

[Bill Saunders]

Great song, with an especially strong chorus. I like the way the arrangement builds, and the sax threading through it in the background. Your voice suits this song absolutely perfectly. Good, solid production with the vocals sitting nicely at the heart.  

I can tell this has been a lbour of love - well worth it.

[pompeyjazz]

My favourite song of the month