konalavadome

Dirt of London

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Paulski

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« Reply #15 on: October 20, 2017, 02:05:32 AM »
This one is a grower Adam
At first I was put off a bit by the non-rhyming or loose rhyming, but after a bit I picked up other patterns in the music which eased the tension somehow. By the end I was singing along with the hook (a great hook BTW)

I do wonder if the chorus should start with a different note/chord from the verses to lift it a bit but what do I know? Anyway?

Paul

PaulAds

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« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2017, 10:19:04 AM »
I’ve listened to this one a lot...and listened to myself humming it even more  :D

Shades of “that’s entertainment” but this has way too much originality to be compared with anything else really

Great lyrics and story and a great hook. Another huge leap forward from one of my forum favourites.

My song of the month.
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

digger72

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« Reply #17 on: October 21, 2017, 10:23:55 AM »
Hi Adam,

Cool tune.
I was getting some Weller/Jam too.
Good choice of instrumentation.
Loved the lyrics.
Vocal and music worked well together. I agree with others - totally suits you.

Digger

LostBoy

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« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2017, 10:37:07 PM »
Hey Adam,

I love the chorus mate! It's catchy, I also like the music, the sax is cool! I'm not such a fan of the dragged out sentences at the end of verses & choruses. Some work & some just sound forced, especially the last one.
Sorry mate, just giving my honest take.

I did enjoy both listens though man  ;D

Cheers
Leo


adamfarr

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« Reply #19 on: October 23, 2017, 06:25:11 PM »
Thanks everyone - some quick thanks before I get back the tearing of the hair that is competition time...

PaulyX: weirdness is my middle name. Or at least quirky. And British. Thanks for listening - at times I could hear myself sounding a bit like you in the vocals... (except not in tune or talented).

Cawproductions: happy and jolly? I never thought of that... Seems like the flow divided opinions a bit, not a bad thing I suppose. Jackpot if you immediately got the scenario from the lyrics. Thanks so much for the great comments.

Bill Saunders: thanks a million - yes, this took a bit of work, especially that "sax".

Pompeyjazz: brilliant, a vote! thanks as always!

Paulski: I guess that's right, the chorus isn't much of a rhymer (or not an end-rhymer). I hear you re the notes, though I just went with what felt simple and didn't tinker too much with that. Thanks for great comments.

PaulAds: brilliant comments, thanks. Definitely a descendant of That's Entertainment (with a bit of other mixed heritage thrown in...)

Digger: many thanks - things seemed to come together quite well in this one...

LostBoy: thanks for the great comments. Interesting re the dragged out bits - though I think someone once said "it's better to be 'new' than 'good'", so on that basis it would be unusual if everyone liked everything. Thanks for listening though!

Darren1664

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« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2017, 06:20:19 PM »
I can't help but like your music Adam. There's something about your style and vocal delivery that I find really catchy and great to listen to. Really catchy and interesting songs.

On my third listen. Really like this.

Darren

Wolfini

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« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2017, 06:34:40 PM »
Good images, and very punchy music that goes under the skin.

But I wonder ... isn't there at least a tiny bit of happiness about what happened, too? Was and is it all bad?

Well, making the listener think is definitely a sign that you have got a strong song here.

Bye Wolfi
Finished albums: wolfgangn.bandcamp.com
Recent songs: soundclick.com/wolfini

Neil C

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« Reply #22 on: November 14, 2017, 05:44:15 PM »
Adam,
This feels like a bit a bit of a grower. I like your delivery and the words hold interest.
Stripped back nature of it works well and great sax solo too
Just feel it needed a bit stronger chorus to pull it all together.
 :)
Neil
 
songwriter of no repute..

montydog

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« Reply #23 on: November 15, 2017, 03:50:53 PM »
Adam,

This is very original, honest and full of brilliantly observed little details. I thought Verse 3 was a killer - such perceptive and economic writing. Kind of reminded me of Paul Weller in the lyric quality and also the delivery. Very English, very clever and the keen observation puts it into the very highest category of songwriting.

M

Martinswede

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« Reply #24 on: November 17, 2017, 04:13:52 PM »
It took a few listens for me to really pay attention to the lyrics. I don't know if I'm fully capable of absorbing the content (shower gateway?)but I like the style. I'm not so familiar with the sub genre (post-punk?) I'll just call it lounge Clash. Many interesting elements. The sax has been mentioned. Like that one. The intro is great could be twice as long.

The chorus has a slight anonymity to it. Maybe some call and response at the end of each line?

Anyway, great song!

Martin

Yodasdad

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« Reply #25 on: November 18, 2017, 09:53:51 AM »
Loved the intro, I think this guitar riff should be more of a feature throughout the verses, rather than just the intro, as it's quite hooky in its own right.

The sax worked well, although at times felt a little staccato and keyboard like. I also wonder whether a more 'growl sax' type patch would work even better in places.

Sorry if these sound like criticisms, just trying to think how you could make it even better as I did enjoy it.

Nice job on the lyrics.

Yodasdad