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October 21, 2017, 05:32:41 PM
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Read October 10, 2017, 12:41:47 AM #0
CaliaMoko

Something's Coming

I'm working on my "dark" competition piece. It's my first attempt at "fancy" production. I don't have high expectations, but I'd like to learn a little to get me started. So, for feedback, I'm looking for:

1. Should I separate some of the sounds to one side or the other rather than leaving them all in the center?
2. Any recommendations for where to put the guitar strums? Are they okay as is or would it make more sense to have more structure or choose different spots?
3. Are the sound effects too much? Should I shorten them? Make them quieter?
4. The bass is pretty monotonous--the same note all the way through (except for the very first one). Should there be some variation?
5. I'm sure the percussion should be different than it is. Any recommendations for improving it?
6. Anything else you notice on lyrics, melody, production--whatever.

Warning: this is a very rough recording. I know my vocals are not always on pitch, but I think you can figure out what it's supposed to sound like. I need more practice in order to hit all the notes so quickly, and I didn't want to put off getting my feedback, because I'm running out of time, so I posted it with the pitchy vocals.

Thanks for checking it out! Here it is:

https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/somethings-coming/s-qSrpN


Something's Coming

(Whispered: I'm scared. It's so dark.)
Something's coming. I can hear it.
Running, running. I'm so scared.
I can't see it. Where's the light?
Something's coming, in the night.

Can you hear it, can you hear it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear?
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

Something's coming. I can feel it.
Shivers running up my spine.
I can't see it, but I feel it.
Something's coming in the night.

Can you hear it, can you feel it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear.
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

Can you hear it, can you feel it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear.
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

Can you hear it, can you feel it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear.
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

(Whispered: It's so dark.)



Copyright 2017 Vicki Morrison
 
Read October 11, 2017, 04:38:35 PM #1
Darren1664

Re: Something's Coming

I'm working on my "dark" competition piece. It's my first attempt at "fancy" production. I don't have high expectations, but I'd like to learn a little to get me started. So, for feedback, I'm looking for:

1. Should I separate some of the sounds to one side or the other rather than leaving them all in the center?

I would say panning would help a lot. I'm not great with mixing but I think you'd want vocals and bass down the centre and everything else panned to left or right. If you have more than one guitar track then pan one left one right etc.

2. Any recommendations for where to put the guitar strums? Are they okay as is or would it make more sense to have more structure or choose different spots?

I personally thought the guitar strums were good and in the right place. To me it matched the atmosphere of the song

3. Are the sound effects too much? Should I shorten them? Make them quieter?

You're going for fancy production so I think in that sense they're good. I don't really know to be honest, so just ignore me.

4. The bass is pretty monotonous--the same note all the way through (except for the very first one). Should there be some variation?

For this I would say yes but not necessarily a variation in note. A break in the bass line could help it have more space but again I'm not the best at this. Not really helping am I Tongue

5. I'm sure the percussion should be different than it is. Any recommendations for improving it?
6. Anything else you notice on lyrics, melody, production--whatever.

Warning: this is a very rough recording. I know my vocals are not always on pitch, but I think you can figure out what it's supposed to sound like. I need more practice in order to hit all the notes so quickly, and I didn't want to put off getting my feedback, because I'm running out of time, so I posted it with the pitchy vocals.

Thanks for checking it out! Here it is:

https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/somethings-coming/s-qSrpN


Something's Coming

(Whispered: I'm scared. It's so dark.)
Something's coming. I can hear it.
Running, running. I'm so scared.
I can't see it. Where's the light?
Something's coming, in the night.

Can you hear it, can you hear it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear?
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

Something's coming. I can feel it.
Shivers running up my spine.
I can't see it, but I feel it.
Something's coming in the night.

Can you hear it, can you feel it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear.
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

Can you hear it, can you feel it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear.
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

Can you hear it, can you feel it?
Howling, screaming, striking fear.
Something's coming, something's coming
After me.

(Whispered: It's so dark.)



Copyright 2017 Vicki Morrison

I think for a first attempt at fancy you're doing great Vicki. It's such a huge can of worms once you get into it all but you've come out here with a great first attempt. I have nothing to add to lyrics or melody. They suit the nature of the song. I've always liked your vocal and do again here. In my minds eye I see this a little less fancy and a little more eerie. In the way that "Tip Toe through the Tulips" is eerie.

All the best

Darren
 
Read October 17, 2017, 09:16:39 PM #2
CaliaMoko

Re: Something's Coming

Thanks so much for your input, Darren. I added some panning to several of the tracks. And some reverb to the guitar strum track and the background vocals. And made the background vocals quieter And I put a few breaks in the bass line and made it quieter. The new version is here:
https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/somethings-coming-demo/s-nUyW8

The volume on the lead vocal is inconsistent. I don't know how to fix that. I tried recording parts over again, but that didn't really help.

I expect to post this on the Finished Songs board this weekend. Unless I get more good ideas for improvements before then, in which case, I'll try to improve it some more and post it next week.

The first version (for comparison) is still at:
https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/somethings-coming/s-qSrpN
 
Read October 18, 2017, 07:48:49 PM #3
Darren1664

Re: Something's Coming

Thanks so much for your input, Darren. I added some panning to several of the tracks. And some reverb to the guitar strum track and the background vocals. And made the background vocals quieter And I put a few breaks in the bass line and made it quieter. The new version is here:
https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/somethings-coming-demo/s-nUyW8

The volume on the lead vocal is inconsistent. I don't know how to fix that. I tried recording parts over again, but that didn't really help.

I expect to post this on the Finished Songs board this weekend. Unless I get more good ideas for improvements before then, in which case, I'll try to improve it some more and post it next week.

The first version (for comparison) is still at:
https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/somethings-coming/s-qSrpN


Hi Vicki

No worries at all. Listening to both tracks I think there's a big improvement from your first to the second. You've done some good work there!!

With regard to your vocal - hopefully someone with better knowledge will come along to confirm but I think compression may help with the levels. Maybe try it in your DAW and see what affect it has. From what little I know about compression, what it does is reduce the volume that exceeds a set level by a set ratio, so should hopefully smooth out the volume of your vocal track.

I have to say really enjoying this and like how you've come at this in a different way from previous songs. Good work Vicki

Darren
 
Read October 18, 2017, 09:10:57 PM #4
CaliaMoko

Re: Something's Coming

Thanks again, Darren! I have replaced the new version with a newER version, and I think the vocal is more consistent now.
 
Read October 19, 2017, 09:18:10 AM #5
2tuoo

Re: Something's Coming



I'm not an expert or professional so all my response comes from tons of tutorials/forums I went over the past 5 years + some things that did work for me occasionally.

1. Should I separate some of the sounds to one side or the other rather than leaving them all in the center?

In general for an instrumentation in your song, the guitar should be panned approximately 15% to the left and Bass to the Right. Visualize a 4 piece band on stage. Singer and drummer in the middle the Bass and guitar are on the sides.

2. Any recommendations for where to put the guitar strums? Are they okay as is or would it make more sense to have more structure or choose different spots?
3. Are the sound effects too much? Should I shorten them? Make them quieter?
The sound effects were great!I would put some reverb and quiet down the scream for consistency with the song. Currently, this sound feels "glued" to the song

4. The bass is pretty monotonous--the same note all the way through (except for the very first one). Should there be some variation?

I would alternate the Bass notes I-V for some flavor, the tone and its volume are perfect

5. I'm sure the percussion should be different than it is. Any recommendations for improving it?

You're using the Crash which brings attention to percussion. If you replace it with low-hat the percussion would work as rhythm with the current setup. With crush sound, I would expect to hear more drum sounds and more groove in general so if the Crash is important Snare and Toms would improve this.

6. Anything else you notice on lyrics, melody, production--whatever.


In addition - I would add some reverb to the vocals, the song's tone and mood are spacey but vocals deliver entirely different feeling which contradicts the instrumentals



Copyright 2017 Vicki Morrison


Have a great day!
 
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