Banned By The BBC - (Extremely Offensive) 'What a C**t'

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Morefrog Jones

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« on: October 09, 2017, 01:18:35 PM »
So in a desperate attempt to get a break - I thought whats the best way to get some sales/publicity etc.

Then it came to me - Get banned by the BBC - put out a subversive record and release it Christmas and hope the warped mentality of a certain section of The British public will buy it to stop Simon Cowells X factor song getting to number one.....Bingo ;) ;) ;) ;)

So I have had a go at writing the most offensive punk style song in honour the Sex Pistols who 40 years ago this year Bought out God save the Queen in Jubilee Year 77.

Please remember this is a song writing forum not a political discussion forum and anyway i have been very fair in the lyrics and tried to offend as many different C**ts as possible ;)

PLEASE LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED.










PLEASE LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU ARE OPEN MINDED BUT HAVE BARRIERS YOU WILL NOT CROSS.







I have warned you!!!!


















Last Chance!!!!!
















WHAT A C**T

Theresa will sell her soul for twenty pieces of silver.
And then when she has your vote - she will sell you down the river.
WHAT A C**T
SHE'S A C**T

Jeremy thinks he has a new idea but we have heard it all before.
He thinks he's Che Guevara and he's gonna make you poor.
WHAT A C**T
HE'S A C**T

Nicola's so one track minded and drives it too the hilt.
She can take her referendum and stick it up her kilt.
WHAT A C**T
SHE'S A C**T

Someone drove the van and mowed the people down
Sadiq said this is normal and its not in his Koran.
WHAT A C**T
A PAIR OF C**TS

Bridge
Adolph was a vegan he had a big idea
But he took things way too far and it ended up in tears.
Adolph was a vegan and wouldn't accept defeat.
He ended up losing his country and a pile of golden teeth....................What a C**t

WHAT A C**T
WHAT A C**T
WHAT A C**T

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jamesh

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« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2017, 09:52:34 PM »
Cracking!

PaulyX

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« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2017, 05:24:24 PM »
What's wrong with being a Celt?  :)
Well you achieved what you aimed for with this one mate! I admire your level-handedness in dishing out the bile equally in all directions.
Gonna be good to hear it.
It's all too beautiful.

lillypilly

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« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2017, 07:40:52 PM »
Nothing wrong with the word. COOT

tone

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« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2017, 07:56:17 PM »
Very entertaining :) However, I don't know why you felt the need to censor the word 'Clot' :D
 
Agree with Pauly on the even-handedness of your wrath. If I was being super nit-picky I'd say repetition of 'Adolph was a vegan' sounds like maybe you ran out of steam right at the end. All the other verses tie together nicely except the last one. His being vegan doesn't relate to his admitting defeat or losing his country. And being super-double-nit-picky I think you'll find he was a vegetarian... similar, but not the same as a vegan.
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Silver Machine

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« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2017, 08:22:43 PM »
Peeps I know its not nice but the word is CYST.

Hey do you think Johnny Rotten would sing this now he's fat and respectable?

maybe a verse about him would be neat?

Morefrog Jones

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« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2017, 11:27:09 PM »
Very entertaining :) However, I don't know why you felt the need to censor the word 'Clot' :D
 
Agree with Pauly on the even-handedness of your wrath. If I was being super nit-picky I'd say repetition of 'Adolph was a vegan' sounds like maybe you ran out of steam right at the end. All the other verses tie together nicely except the last one. His being vegan doesn't relate to his admitting defeat or losing his country. And being super-double-nit-picky I think you'll find he was a vegetarian... similar, but not the same as a vegan.

LOL - I wanted to annoy vegans and word associate them with Hitler as I find (some) Vegans are very easily offended by things (in general) and the real 'right on' ones are Food Nazi's. ;)

PaulyX

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« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2017, 05:07:28 PM »
Haha.
I'm a vegan MFJ, and thoroughly offended by your claim we're easily offended. Doh!
Now please excuse me while I go and invade Poland to vent my rage.
 :P
It's all too beautiful.

Paulski

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« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2017, 05:22:51 PM »
Don't you have to be old to be a "coot"?  ;D ;D

Think I'd add a few more verses for Canadian politicians
.. and the hook needs to be really shouted often so ppl remember it  ;D ;D

mickyplankton

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« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2017, 09:23:29 PM »
Hi Morefrog.

I know this is tongue in cheek but I do like the concept. A band called S*M*A*S*H attempted this in the 1990s with a decent punk number called I Want to Kill Somebody. And it has parallels with your idea. Particularly the rage against politicians.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but i don't think your song is particularly offensive, precisely because you have spread the bile out. Your targets range across such diverse political spectrums and timescales that it actually comes across as quite PC in some respects.

If you are serious about doing this (and I know you are probably not :-)) then you'd be better off targeting the rage in a narrower direction. You also need to get youth behind you (which is critical if you want to get to number 1) so I would focus on slamming the Tories.

Or you could just record a double A side of the collaborations you've done with Pompey Jazz. That might get to number one faster.....





Morefrog Jones

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« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2017, 10:12:12 PM »
Hi Morefrog.

I know this is tongue in cheek but I do like the concept. A band called S*M*A*S*H attempted this in the 1990s with a decent punk number called I Want to Kill Somebody. And it has parallels with your idea. Particularly the rage against politicians.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but i don't think your song is particularly offensive, precisely because you have spread the bile out. Your targets range across such diverse political spectrums and timescales that it actually comes across as quite PC in some respects.

If you are serious about doing this (and I know you are probably not :-)) then you'd be better off targeting the rage in a narrower direction. You also need to get youth behind you (which is critical if you want to get to number 1) so I would focus on slamming the Tories.

Or you could just record a double A side of the collaborations you've done with Pompey Jazz. That might get to number one faster.....



Cheers Micky - Yes it was tongue in cheek - I had no intention of wasting my time with this - I thought it might make a funny plot for a Comedy show though - In a 'The Producers' kind of way and i just wanted to see if I could say C**T on the forum and get away with it. ;D ;D ;D