Hey everyone,
Looking for some feedback on a song that's almost finished needs a little polishing up. Feel free to make any suggestion on lyric changes if you think something will go better.
The story of the song is this:
I met this guy, we spoke online. live in the same town, stayed up late talking almost falling asleep staying up. Constantly laughing and checks hurt from smiling too much. Had so much in common etc. We met and everything went so fast, we got together and was even using the love word pretty quick, even his family said isn't it a bit quick to be saying that but we knew it was true love but it was unexplainable.
So I've always wanted to write a song about someone so I started writing about how he
makes me feel who I'd now be without him, how he's my first thought in the morning and late at night, how I'm scared to lose him, all of that.
Before I met him I almost gave up on finding love and then he came along and taught me how to love again so I wanted to put that down in words for him.
I've read the guidelines about it saying try not to ask for feedback on just "all of it" but that's what I want feedback on, all of it and if it matches the back story and if you have any suggestion on changes.
This is it..
Written by Kieron Fairhurst and Yodasdad
V1
My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
its something I can't deny,
this feeling inside when I look in your eyes.
V2
All I ever wanted was true love,
then you came along and swept me off my feet
being with you, is so easy to do
C
I love you more than skies are blue
But even if they turn grey, I'll still be loving you.
it’s unexplainable, should be unobtainable
our True unexplainable love
V3
When I wake each morning you bring me comfort
Late at night, you’re what's on my mind
No words can describe what I’m feeling inside
V4
Im scared I’ll lose you, I don’t know what I’d do
If you weren’t there, the missing part of me
Like a drug I need more, can’t go back to before
Mid 8
I know there’s know way of telling what the future holds
We could crumble and fall but If we stop talking
Ill go crazy coz I’ll lose the one I adore
Final C
I love you just because you’re you
and even on our bad days I’ll still be loving you
it’s unexplainable, should be unobtainable
our True unexplainable love
It's our True unexplainable love - repeat
The song is a slow piano song so the lyrics may seem a bit short but it fits into around a 3 minutes song and the melody gets faster on the mid 8 towards the end of the song. Also thinking about writing a intro for it because feedback of my own is that I feel it jumps in a bit too far to "My hands are shaking, my heart's racing" there should be a intro before it I feel.
Thanks for the feedback,
K.
