Dead End

  • 15 Replies
  • 3113 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

redrhodie

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 787
« on: September 23, 2017, 01:14:05 AM »
Hi Everybody,

I wrote this after hearing about the death of a friend of mine, who died tragically, but doing something she loved. And it's about following your heart.

It's also special to me because it's how I met my friend Diademgrove, who heard it and generously offered to mix it for me. He also made the beautiful video. Thanks Keith.

It was the first time I had recorded myself, so it's pretty sparse. Just singing, guitar, and Ebow. Hope it's okay.

Dead End

The problem was
The sun was in their eyes
In retrospect
It comes as no surprise
The winding road
Was blind around the bend
They didn't know
It came to a dead end

With no regrets they took that bend
With no regrets it was a dead end

The painted sky
All purple in the dusk
Silhouettes of things they couldn't touch
The smell of grapes
The moment did suspend
They finally knew it came to a dead end

With no regrets they took that bend
With no regrets it was a dead end

The problem was
The sun was in their eyes
In retrospect
it comes as no surprise
The winding road was blind around the bend
They didn't know it came to a dead end
It was a dead end


mickyplankton

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 726
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2017, 10:30:09 AM »
Brave song on a number of levels and totally compelling listening experience. the song is tender on one hand, and absolutely horrific on another. I found myself filling in the gaps in the story with my imagination as the song unfolded and it's a beautiful but slightly unsettling experience. I think you are really brave writing a song in this way. As for the production, in my opinion the vocal effect is marginally too overbearing and if you tweaked it ever so slightly the song would be better for it, but it's only a subtle minor tweak. thanks for posting and sharing.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2017, 10:32:45 AM by mickyplankton »

shadowfax

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3178
  • Singer songwriter
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2017, 10:50:43 AM »
A nice song and a pleasant listen, (in spite of the subject matter)..my only crit is that it was the same all the way through..an 8 bar refrain 2/3rds through would help the song IMHO..

best, Kevin :) :)
Soundcloud Shadowfax6

from the nightmare!

redrhodie

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 787
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2017, 12:18:52 PM »
Thanks Micky and Kevin. I'll take your points into consideration if I ever decide to rework it.

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the reviews.

PaulyX

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1796
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2017, 11:21:21 PM »
Great song.  What really elevates it for me is the intimacy of the vocals and also that Ebow... it's a really emotive sound: part wailing wolf, part ambulance siren.  The song doesn't change much but I still found myself captivated all the way through.  Well written and performed RedRhodie and well mixed and illustrated Diademgrove.
It's all too beautiful.

Skub

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3660
    • Soundcloud
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2017, 11:29:24 PM »
Yo redrhodie.

This piece is like the Velvet Underground with Lou Reed's vocals replaced with a female lead. It has that 'Heroin' feel to it.

Decadent and infused with the kind of loss only familiar to those accustomed to living in the moment.

Powerful.  8)

redrhodie

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 787
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2017, 11:37:39 AM »
Great song.  What really elevates it for me is the intimacy of the vocals and also that Ebow... it's a really emotive sound: part wailing wolf, part ambulance siren.  The song doesn't change much but I still found myself captivated all the way through.  Well written and performed RedRhodie and well mixed and illustrated Diademgrove.

Hey Pauly! You got everything I was hoping for. Thanks so much for listening. Glad you liked it.
Yo redrhodie.

This piece is like the Velvet Underground with Lou Reed's vocals replaced with a female lead. It has that 'Heroin' feel to it.

Decadent and infused with the kind of loss only familiar to those accustomed to living in the moment.

Powerful.  8)

Cool, Skub. I have gotten female Jim Morrison/LSD before, so this adds to my awesome collection. Love that. Thanks for the delightful review.

Silver Machine

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 173
« Reply #7 on: September 24, 2017, 06:58:22 PM »
I really dig the 1960s pop vehicle you use for this tragic tale, its folky and innocent,  which sorta heightens the tragedy.
Some neat word play with “Dead End”  going on here, and also “The sun was in their eyes” with “The road was blind around the bend”
The  mournful tone of the Ebow in the background is a cool bit of acoustic archery.
I'm guessing they were on a motorbike, so she'd be on the back with no control of how they were riding? Terrible.



PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3477
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« Reply #8 on: September 24, 2017, 09:00:53 PM »
This is right up my street.

Great lyric...and the song reminded me a little of "trees and flowers" by Strawberry Switchblade which I've always really loved...check it out if you haven't heard it before.

very nice...I really enjoyed this  :)
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

redrhodie

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 787
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2017, 11:38:15 PM »
I really dig the 1960s pop vehicle you use for this tragic tale, its folky and innocent,  which sorta heightens the tragedy.
Some neat word play with “Dead End”  going on here, and also “The sun was in their eyes” with “The road was blind around the bend”
The  mournful tone of the Ebow in the background is a cool bit of acoustic archery.
I'm guessing they were on a motorbike, so she'd be on the back with no control of how they were riding? Terrible.




Thanks Silvermachine. I live a double meaning. Glad you got them.
This is right up my street.

Great lyric...and the song reminded me a little of "trees and flowers" by Strawberry Switchblade which I've always really loved...check it out if you haven't heard it before.

very nice...I really enjoyed this  :)

I will check that out. I don't know it. Thanks so much for listening.

Lynn

adamfarr

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3166
    • SongEspresso
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2017, 10:26:44 AM »
Very nice sombre atmosphere you created here. When it started, I have to say the first line made me think, oh no this is a bit too literal, but the second verse in particular brings more poetry and the feeling of the calm before the sudden shock. Really like the delicate eery sound in the backing, it really adds a lot and I think you used it just enough. Very nice indeed...

redrhodie

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 787
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2017, 08:30:56 PM »
Very nice sombre atmosphere you created here. When it started, I have to say the first line made me think, oh no this is a bit too literal, but the second verse in particular brings more poetry and the feeling of the calm before the sudden shock. Really like the delicate eery sound in the backing, it really adds a lot and I think you used it just enough. Very nice indeed...

Thanks for sticking it out! Glad it got better as it went on. Thanks for listening.

Lynn

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 5668
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #12 on: September 27, 2017, 09:01:21 AM »
Well written song which shows a lot of emotion. It reminds me of some of the Velvet Underground stuff with Nico in a lot of ways. Haunting atmosphere

redrhodie

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 787
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2017, 10:50:26 PM »
Well written song which shows a lot of emotion. It reminds me of some of the Velvet Underground stuff with Nico in a lot of ways. Haunting atmosphere


Thanks so much.

Neil C

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3970
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2017, 07:06:44 PM »
Hi,
Nice work here. Simple direct, to the point and all the better for it.

All works for me, lyrics and music feel as one. If you wanted to you could make the last verse just guitar and vocal and then come back in the the subtle backing at the end. Just a thought 
 :)
neil
songwriter of no repute..