konalavadome

Did I Almost See.

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MartinKlok

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« on: September 14, 2017, 10:53:41 AM »
Goodmorning! ;D

So i have been working on something this morning. It basicly like hit me while i was watching a movie and i needed to write this down. I'm still very young (19) so ofcourse i can still learn a lot from the people here and i'm more then Happy to get tips/trics and Advise. Really anything is welcome!
I just love to write and i love to make progress!

My main Language is Dutch - So i'm truly sorry if the grammar is not totaly on point!

Sitting in the schools corner.
(Hiding) Behind the coat hangers.
Crying becouse of those hard words.
Right into your souls deepest places.

Oh You. Did i almost see.
Why you really follow me.
Behind my back, in slow phases.
Like i don't see you...
I feel your faces.

Why oh why do you.
Feel so good when hitting me.
Not even with your hands or legs.
No you'r to weak.
To really talk to me.

To look me in the eyes.
When i clearly see you.
Even when your trying to hide.
The real you from me.

I'm over your little games.
No more talking behind my back.
Do it in my face.
Or lose me on your track.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2017, 11:03:02 AM by Fendi »

Mike67

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« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2017, 09:26:43 AM »
Hi,

Really like the idea here, and this could be really, really good with some work and some time.   I was going to pick up grammar only, but got a bit carried away and re-worked the first verse and chorus with the melody that came to my head.  Had to stop myself there.  Please feel free to ignore. :)

Mike

Hiding round the corner
Behind the scarfs, and coats and blazers.
Crying because of the words you said
Cut through to my darkest places.

Oh you. Did I almost see.
The fear in your eyes when you came for me?
Did you think I'd fall?  Did you think I'd cry and tell?
You think I don't know you? I know you well.

Oldbutyet

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« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2017, 10:59:11 PM »
One thing about lyric and poetry is words and lines has to draw on each other to bring imagery.

What Mike has done is bring music imagery   8)

MartinKlok

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« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2017, 10:14:03 AM »
Oh thanks so much both of you! ;D
As i said i just get this in my head and then try to write it down at that time when  i get creative vibes. I was planning on working more on it, but wanted to share it with this forum already!

I really do love your version Mike! And thanks for your amazing and sweet message on my post :)
Never did i ever think this would be liked and that it could be good since i like never did finish a great lyrics.

Unfortunately i know nothing about making melody´s and Music with the words, aldo i would really love it to see something i wrote come alive in a Creative progress!

Martin


Mike67

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« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2017, 11:43:59 AM »
Martin,

You really don't need to understand music and melody to write lyrics; you just need a rhythm in your head, and then just write to the rhythm.  It's then quite easy to get under the skin of whatever you're writing; it can be almost trance-like, with the words and meaning coming almost automatically.

If you want more help, I'd be happy for you to send me a private message.  As I said, you have a good idea for a song.

Mike

MartinKlok

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« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2017, 12:59:14 AM »
Thanks again Mike! I did send you a message a few minutes ago!
Very exited! ;D