[jamesh]

Hi All

I discovered recently that one of my colleagues Imogen, writes and records poetry so we decided to collaborate. For Imogen, fitting the words into the confines of a song was a new challenge and one that I think she has excelled at.

For me the music had to reflect the sentiment of the song and I hope I achieved that. We both love a sad ballad.

The song has a  "Parisian Walkways" feel about it, or maybe "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" but hopefully the melody is completely original if not the chord sequence.

This song is written from a female perspective, but has me singing (albeit with a high voice!) on it so dont be too confused.

We would be keen to hear any feedback, but particularly the lyrics, and whether the tune and arrangement does them justice.

Thanks

James & Imogen

https://soundcloud.com/james-homewood/mona-lisa-james-imogen


Mona Lisa
​
She’s your Mona Lisa
Sure would be nice to meet her
Find out what you’re both
Smiling about
 
You’re not painting me
You wouldn’t hang my picture in a gallery
You’re not painting me
 
Mona Lisa

She’s your supermodel
You like the way she dresses
Like all the cool girls
All the right clothes

She don’t dress like me
You wouldn’t hang my clothes up in a gallery
She don’t dress like me
 
Mona Lisa


Is this what it takes to be your muse
How could I forget, you've an ego to sooth
 

She’s your aperture
Letting all the light in
Something about her
You have to capture
 
You don’t capture me
You wouldn’t frame my photo in a gallery
You don’t capture me
 
Mona Lisa

[Skub]

Yo James and Imogen.

It's not Imogen Heap is it? 

The song has a very classical/pop feel,sort of Aled Jones with Walking in the Air. I think your precise enunciation adds to that conclusion,very choirboy style.

Cool Beatle harmonies compliment the big open sound.

I love the lyrics,I think you may have struck gold there by meeting Imogen. Mind you,I could never use 'she's your aperture' in a song,my mind is way too in the gutter for that to work for me. 

I don't know if you left any space at the intro in your project,but the soundcloud file cuts off the very beginning,making it appear abrupt. I always leave a bar or so at the beginning to avoid this.

A very classy tune,well done you both. 

[PaulyX]

Hi James, I thought this had a "French cinema" feel, in a slightly 70s retro way.  I love the sound effect that comes in e.g. just before "She's your aperture" - what is it?  It sounds like a spangly metal curtain being brushed or something.  Lyrically it worked fine for me - I read it as a tale of jealousy from one woman towards her (ex) partner's new love; nothing jarred in the lyrics and I liked the gallery / photography references (maybe they are partly why I get the French vibe from it?).  You don't get much a sense of anger from it, more a detached resignation from the narrator which actually I think makes it more powerful and sad.  Good stuff!

[Neil C]

Hi, as others have said it it has a 80 feel to it, perhaps from a stage a show?
Lovely instrumentation as ever.
I like the lyrics although I found the way you phrased/emphasied 'Lisa' in the chorus slightly odd.
 
neil   

[THEFLAVES]

I'm in line with SKub and her comments.

This is a classy pop ballad, a bit Elton in places - a good thing in my opinion. I think Imogen's lyrics (bar the aperture wording) are excellent and quite touching.

I have the luxury of having heard this song sung by Imogen herself on a rough demo. Very smokey voice, sultry and seductive.  James - you must persuade her to share that demo on here.

Like other tunes James has posted on here the melodies are striking and accomplished. Check out other compositions by James.

This song has real promise and deserves a simple video to accompany it. It feels very visual already.

     

[shadowfax]

Yeah, nice atmospheric song..as paulyx said, very 70's French cinema type thingy..no bad thing IMHO mate...
like the singing though a bit of vibrato would be handy on the long notes..

this is very well done, you should be chuffed with this, I would be,,,

best, Kevin

[shadowfax]

I'm in line with SKub and her comments.


     

I'm sure Skub is pleased to know he's a her...

[Skub]

I'm in line with SKub and her comments.


     

I'm sure Skub is pleased to know he's a her...

Hey,if the money's right I can be anything anyone wants. 

[Cawproductions]

Guys,

Nice track and production,

Very chilled vibe, I dont know much about the french thing, but sounding great.