[David Christy Jones]

Hi all, first time posting in this category

I'd love to get your thoughts on one of my tunes, called "The Green Guy".
It's been about 6 months in the making so far, with various vocal changes having occured in that time.
The main thing I can't seem to get right or fully decide upon is the "B Section". The chord change bit
I like the chords, but I feel like the vocals make the change too dramatic. I'd really be curious to hear peoples thoughts on that particular section. Note: These vocals are a rough take.

The other thing I'm curious about is the cello. I'm not a cellist, and this was my only time ever playing cello. I'm curious how you feel it turned out in the song. I perform all the instrumentation and vocals, and I'm not greatly worried about any of that except for the cello track.

https://soundcloud.com/user-534764711/the-green-guy-1

Thanks in advance everyone, I'm having a great time on the forum!

Lyrics (Posting the chords in case anyone has any suggestions on possible alterations, if thats ok )

G         
Everything we've come across,
          G7
And everyone we've fought....
B7
Doesn't mean a tragedy,
      C
Or take away the loss.
          F                     C                   G
Just call me whenever you want,
           F                    C                               G
We'll call up the green guy, we'll walk....
B7
Back to the ranch,
                        C
Watch our children grow.
            B7
We'll talk about politics,
          C
And watch that new show....

[Instrument Break] [E7, Eb7, D7, Db7, C7, B7, E)

B7                                              C
Sometimes it seems it's all going wrong.
F                          C                 G
I've seen this movie before....
 F                 C                  G
Sat at the eye of a storm.
B7                                         C
Still, I'm wondering if it makes sense.
B7                                          C
This existential crisis, this fear of death.

[Instrument Break] [E7, Eb7, D7, Db7, C7, B7, E)

-Solo: [B7|C|F|C|G|F|C|G]

E7                              A7b9                                  E           
I found myself a brand new home, my friend.
                E7                                          A7b9                          E
We can sit out, drink, play the songs our fathers shared.
B7                                               A7                          [E9, Eb9, D9, Db9, C9, B9, E)
So raise your glass to the loved, and the dead. 
E7                              A7b9                                  E           
I found myself a brand new home, my friend.
                E7                                          A7b9                          E
We can sit out, drink, play the songs our fathers shared.

B7                                              C
So was it worth it, my old friend?
F                              C                 G
You've seen this movie before....
           F                         C               G
And danced in the eye of a storm.
B7                                         C
Still, I'm wondering if it makes sense.
B7                                          C
Everything we worked on will come to an end.

[Instrument Break] [E7, Eb7, D7, Db7, C7, B7, E)

[jacksimmons]

I don't think you have to worry about this, personally. To me it all flows very nicely. The chord change isn't jarring. Your backing doesn't draw too much attention to the change. I just think it's interesting.

I like the vocals, too, and the harmonies, even if they are only a guide vocal. And you're great at guitar. I have to say I didn't notice the cello too much. Which might be a good thing! It definitely didn't stand out as being bad. I was listening quietly because family are in bed, but you seem like a bit of a virtuoso by my paltry standards!

Good work! I look forward to the finished version.

[David Christy Jones]

Thank you so much
Never been called a virtuoso before..... I'll have to be careful that my newly aquired big head can still fit through the door

[PaulyX]

I agree David, after 2 listens I did not notice anything jarring about the chord changes.  On the contrary, it all flowed very smoothly without being too predictable.
I have to say I also did not notice the cello... probably because the fingerpicking throughout is a stand out, so your attention naturally stays on that.  If you want the cello to be more prominent perhaps bring it up in the mix?

[Darren1664]

Agree with the above, chord changes flow really well. Only thing I noticed was that the very first change seemed more prominent because a few instruments come in at the same time as the change (if I am hearing right?) but it's not a bad thing. This is a great track with clever chord changes and some great guitar work. As with the others I didn't notice the cello, but then I don't know what a cello is

Really cool and well played track!

[redrhodie]

I really liked it. There's a lot going on there, so I listened twice trying to see what your concerns are, and I thought it sounded great. I like the contrast of your straightforward singing with the busy guitar. Cool melody and chord choices. I'd call it done!

Lynn