[steve-the-gymnast]

We had something we were after,
Abit of love a lot of laughter,
Then came the morning after,
And it was lost without a trace.

I still dream of your face,
You still hold that place,
My heart is for the taking,
So please don’t keep me waiting.

You were the only one,
We had so much fun,
But things aren’t that easy,
I don’t mean to sound sleazy.

But….

Don’t keep me waiting,
My heart is breaking,
Your name is on my lips,
So come on over lets sing it like this.

I still dream of your face,
You still hold that place,
My heart is for the taking,
So please don’t keep me waiting.

Steve King

[espeach]

Hi steve..

I got a nice feeling reading the first verse in the song, in my mind i could see an outdoors scene with open spaces and sunshine   happiness and then just a man sitting on a bed in a curtains closed dark room with his head  resting on his fists...

I find it easier to describe the emotions a song holds than the technical side of the songwritting itslef.

I wanna say theres a little too much rhyme but thats not what i mean,...  i think perhaps its the order of it that doesn't sit right, does that make sense to anyone? 

I do like the feel of the chorus the hope of a reconciliation

I don't like the line "I don't mean to sound sleazy"  when i read that line my first reaction was he couldn't think of what to write for that line.  It happens to me a lot, sometimes i throw in a line cos it ryhmes and i leave it in for flow purposes until; the right line comes to me.

I hope this helps.

Espeach

[tone]

I agree with Espeach - the song has nice flow to it but the sleazy line does seem out of place a little.

Also moved this topic to lyrics.