[CaliaMoko]

Reads like a country song to me...

I don't have much time or energy for nits these days, so I'll only find one to report...and it isn't much of one at all.

In this line:
whenever she is gone for any time.
I would consider adding "length of", just because "gone for any time" sounds a little like something's missing to me. Making it whenever she is gone for any length of time."

But it could just be me; my head isn't on quite straight at the moment.

I hope to hear this one eventually. I'm curious as to what melody and rhythm you choose for it.

Vicki

[hardtwistmusic]

Reads like a country song to me...

I don't have much time or energy for nits these days, so I'll only find one to report...and it isn't much of one at all.

In this line:
whenever she is gone for any time.
I would consider adding "length of", just because "gone for any time" sounds a little like something's missing to me. Making it whenever she is gone for any length of time."

But it could just be me; my head isn't on quite straight at the moment.

I hope to hear this one eventually. I'm curious as to what melody and rhythm you choose for it.

Vicki

Soooooo good to have you back. 

If I can make the cadence work, I'll add that "length" in there.  I'm not that optimistic that I can. 

I'm currently choosing between two vocal melodys right now.