Silhouette

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Pawy

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« on: August 12, 2017, 07:56:36 PM »
Hello! I'm new here so this is my first post. I read the rules said that you can only post one song every 14 days. I'm guessing that applies to lyrics too?

English is not my first language, so the main reason I'll be posting lyrics is to identify if I'm not using the language properly. I'm the singer/songwriter of a band, so the music for this song already exists. But I wanted to make sure it doesn't have any stupid mistakes before we started recording :)

In this lifeless city
Everything’s quiet and calm.
But you’ve decided that
It’s me you want to find,
From the shadows I raise one eyebrow.
…Catch me if you can.

Don’t trust your senses,
They crave too much for me.
You’ll think you hear my voice,
Think you catch my scent,
Think you see my silhouette everywhere.
…No, I don’t think you can.

[CHORUS]
Even if I let you trace me,
Even if I let you come near me,
Are you really sure you’ll tame me?
Please don’t fool yourself anymore.


From the top of this tower
I look down upon you.
I don’t need to hide,
I find amusing how
You think you’re on the right path but you’re lost.
…Catch me if you can.

After searching every street
You didn’t realize,
You’ve been trapped in this
City’s chaotic maze.
I’m starting to get bored of this game.
…I’m done waiting, babe.

[CHORUS]

*GUITAR SOLO*

[CHORUS]


Thank you for your feedback!

SFX

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« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2017, 09:10:33 AM »
I LOVE this, it's something I wish I had written myself, it's deliciously dark and twisted. I love how it doesn't rhyme and just reads like a psychotic poem.. I would love to read more of your work! Maybe you could add a middle 8 or other verse to flesh it out a bit and add to the eerie tone.. Good job!

Pawy

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« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2017, 07:21:24 PM »
I LOVE this, it's something I wish I had written myself, it's deliciously dark and twisted. I love how it doesn't rhyme and just reads like a psychotic poem.. I would love to read more of your work! Maybe you could add a middle 8 or other verse to flesh it out a bit and add to the eerie tone.. Good job!

Wow, I'm glad you liked it! :))))) And yeah my bandmate also told me that I could write a bridge for the song, I just... really need to think about what else to add 'cause I ran out of ideas :P

But now that I've read another opinion (and probably a more objective one) I think I'll take the advice and add something more to those lyrics.

Thank you!:)

Vintage54

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« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2017, 12:12:52 AM »

  Hello there,
    First post, good post, got my attention. Different and strange, not sure what this guys agenda is, but he got inside my head. Still grappling with the meaning, but please don't make it plain. By the way, i don't think there is a limit on posts in the lyric section. So don't leave the next one too long. No mistakes.

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                                      Vintage54

Pawy

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« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2017, 06:41:19 PM »

  Hello there,
    First post, good post, got my attention. Different and strange, not sure what this guys agenda is, but he got inside my head. Still grappling with the meaning, but please don't make it plain. By the way, i don't think there is a limit on posts in the lyric section. So don't leave the next one too long. No mistakes.

                                   Welcome
                                      Vintage54
Thank you!:) To be honest, I was thinking of a movie when I wrote this. I have an idea of what the guy's agenda might be, but I'm not quite sure either ;)