Chasing Stars - New Song - Feedback Please :D

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Featherstone

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« on: August 06, 2017, 03:54:25 PM »
Hello All

This is my first post -

I have finished a song and uploaded it as a private track on soundcloud -

https://soundcloud.com/featherstonecreative/chasing-stars/s-oCuCs

It is a song about going travelling - looking above the clouds on your way to adventures new.

Chasing Stars
north and south
chase them round
til I hit the ground
the ash tray is full
your rainbow ends
inside a promise
I cant re mend

I wish you were here
will you come for me?
Cant wrap my arms round a memory
when I'm with you I don't wanna go home
when I'm with you I don't wanna go home

Look out the window
above the clouds
look how they shine
they shine out proud
and rain drops fall
onto the wings
is it a promise or is it a dream

I wish you were here
come for me
cant wrap my arms
round a memory
when im with you i dont wanna go home
when im with you i dont wanna go home.



Ben Featherstone




Mikey

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« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2017, 07:22:26 PM »
Nicely performed track, I like the strings, and the guitar picking is very nice, good lyrics nicely sung with a good melody

Nice sounding mix too.

Well done, Mikey

Featherstone

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« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2017, 10:07:07 PM »
Thank you for your kind comments Mikey,


Martinswede

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« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2017, 07:50:42 PM »
Hi and welcome!

Your tune has this atmospheric feeling that I really like. It makes me feel like I'm looking through a telescope or something. Words and music blend very well.

I'd like the vocals to be a bit louder to make the softer parts more defined.
Also the verse and chorus are quite similar in how they sound. They sound good but the chorus could have a bit more intensity.

Martin

Featherstone

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« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2017, 04:15:55 PM »
Thank you Martin for taking the time to listen,


Do you think maybe the 'I wish you were here will you come for me, can't wrap my arms round a memory' could do with some backing vocals maybe?

It def needs something I agree, but I've got a lovely bass line, lovely strings, great drummer, It's hard to think of anything else to add. Maybe an overdub for the chorus lines. Female vocals perhaps?

Best

Martinswede

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« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2017, 06:43:54 PM »
Yes, I think you should focus on the vocal part of the chorus.
Either changing around a bit in the melody or backing vocals.

shadowfax

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« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2017, 08:21:30 AM »
Hi, You'll get a lot more reviews if you join in the community and review other peeps work my friend... :) :)

PaulyX

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« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2017, 12:00:21 PM »
Hey Ben, a very well performed and balanced mellow song.  Strings are quite loud - they are lovely and one of the stars of the piece, but to my ears dominate in the mix more than they need to since they drown out the guitar picking which is also strong.  Lyrics-wise I like the first verse most - lines like "the ash try is full" are fresh and unexpected (whereas to be honest the images in the second verse are a bit 'tried and tested'... can you squeeze another ash-tray moment in?!).  You've got a good characterful voice too - hope to hear more of your stuff.  And like Shadowfax says, jump in and start reviewing... Pauly
It's all too beautiful.

exfairy

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« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2017, 09:40:21 PM »
This is such a pretty song! :) Only comment I can make - you could maybe shorten the instrumentals. They're gorgeous but could be shortened by 8 bars or so...
I know this might sound weird, would you let me do a cover of this? It's so lovely, I would love to sing it :)

Featherstone

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« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2017, 10:06:13 AM »
Hello All,


Many thanks for your kind comments, I have listened to and will respond to others in the community,

Please feel free exfairy, don't release it before me and nick all the royalties :p joking aside what a lovely flatering compliment to receive.

capo 1st fret -  cm d G EM d g em - cm wish you were here.

Ben Featherstone


deegeorge

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« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2017, 03:33:47 PM »
I enjoyed that listen Ben .Good finger style and nice production .I'm a Nick Drake fan and Chasing Stars reminded me of his musical style. Good work

Eline97

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« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2017, 09:18:16 PM »
Lovely song with great lurics. I especially loved the line 'can't wrap my arms around a memory'. Just beautiful! However, As said before, I think the instrumentals could be a little shorter and the vocals somewhat louder. But I liked the sound of the instrumentals a lot, with the strings. Nice song.

Featherstone

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« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2017, 04:09:54 PM »

Thank you everyone for your kind comments, I have decided to bring the vocal level up, add some more harmonies on the chorus to try and give it some more punch in the key areas.

I will also let the guitar come through a bit more.


Kind Regards


Ben

shadowfax

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« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2017, 07:42:22 AM »
drifts along quite pleasantly but doesn't really go anywhere, the chorus is barely noticeable and needs a bit of work to define it so the listener knows when it's happening..

Featherstone

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« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2017, 05:37:02 PM »

Thank you everyone for your kind comments, I have decided to bring the vocal level up, add some more harmonies on the chorus to try and give it some more punch in the key areas.

I will also let the guitar come through a bit more.


Shadowfax thank you for listening, I'm glad you loved it. Please read previous post, those points are being addressed.  Best